


Unforeseen Affliction (snape x reader)

by flatfork



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Daddy Issues, Dom/sub, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Forbidden Love, Light BDSM, Light Bondage, Love, Oral Sex, Relationship(s), Romance, Secret Relationship, Sex, Sexual Tension, Smut, Soft Severus Snape, Teacher-Student Relationship, Teasing, Top Severus Snape, Toxic Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:47:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 48,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27863306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flatfork/pseuds/flatfork
Summary: You're a seventh year at Hogwarts and Severus Snape can’t figure you out. There’s no reason he should hate you, nothing you said or did, but he does. His anger soon begins to spiral into something else, but he struggles to accept it.The main focus of this story is on the relationship between you and Severus Snape, with some twists and turns throughout.
Relationships: Severus Snape & Reader, Severus Snape/Original Character(s), Severus Snape/Original Female Character(s), Severus Snape/Reader, Severus Snape/You
Comments: 80
Kudos: 414
Collections: Snape and Reader Collection





	1. general information

general information

y/n = your name

y/ln = your last name

y/h = your house

Your mother is a witch and your father is a muggle

You're of legal age

Story takes place during your seventh year, first chapter is at the start of November

authors note: finally decided to write a Snape fanfic lmao I'm super excited! shout out to you if you came from my tiktok xD (my username is sevsnape394)

story is also available on wattpad, my username is flatfork and the title of the story is the same


	2. Potions Class

"y/n! Get up! Why are you still in bed?" your roommate Laura shouts while pulling open the curtains around your bed.

You groan as you squint at the bright light coming through the windows from the morning sun. You stayed up late last night, studying for the Transfiguration test you have today, and you barely got any sleep.

"What time is it?" you groan, sitting up, slightly irritated at the fact that you're awake, but nonetheless grateful for your roommate waking you up.

"It's 8:40, I came to check on you when I didn't see you come down to breakfast." she informs you while grabbing her bag filled with books and slinging it over her shoulder. Laura was used to waking you up just in time for classes, you have a bad habit of sleeping in.

"Shit, okay. Thanks." you jump out of bed and scramble to pull on your uniform and your robes.

By the time you get ready and gather your things it's too late to eat breakfast, so you rush straight to your first class of the day: Potions. You silently curse to yourself as you hurry down the stairs; potions is your least favorite class.

But it hadn't always been like that.

Since the start of this year, Professor Snape had taken a dislike to you, which seemed to only be worsening as the year progressed. Sure, you'd receive the occasional rude remark from him throughout your first six years at Hogwarts, but nothing like what he'd thrown at you in the past two and a half months of your seventh year. He had gone from barely glancing at you to making you his sworn enemy.

You were mildly infuriated at the fact he seemed to be slowly ruining your interest for Potions. The way he was acting towards you made no logical sense. You hadn't done anything wrong, you were a perfectly decent student, and you had done well enough in the subject during your years at Hogwarts to get into his N.E.W.T. level class. 

"Here we go." you say under your breath, rolling your eyes as you approach the door to Professor Snape's classroom.

Not one second after you enter the room does the door slam loudly behind you, making you jump and startling you awake.

"You're late." Snape states, a note of annoyance in his voice.

You glance at the watch on your wrist. It reads 8:59.

"Just in time, actually." you smirk smugly at the Professor.

Snape raises an eyebrow, slightly surprised at your confident response, he was used to everyone being scared of him. For a second, he contemplates the idea of scolding you for talking back to him.

You simply stare at him, a daring look flashes across your face as if challenging him. You knew it wasn't the brightest idea to try to provoke him, and that anyone with an ounce of common sense would be cowering to their desk from his menacing glare. 

Yet, you can't help it. It's almost laughable how easily you're able to affect him.

"Take. A seat." he finally says through gritted teeth.

You saunter past him and try to hide your amusement as you sit down in your seat at the front. You didn't usually talk back to teachers, especially the unpleasant Potions Professor, but you had started to give him an attitude the past few classes. He already hated you, might as well give him a reason.

"Now. Today we will be brewing the Befuddlement Draught you all learned about in last night's reading." Professor Snape says in his monotone voice, looking sternly around the room.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

You were so focused on studying for your Transfiguration test that you completely forgot about the reading he assigned. You scramble to pull your potions textbook out of your bag, gaining a couple of odd glances from the people sitting around you.

"You have until the end of class to successfully brew the potion, ingredients are located by your workstations." Professor Snape says lazily while walking towards his desk. "Get to work." he says as he sits down, briefly glancing at you.

People begin to shuffle to their workstations and you bury your face in your textbook as you walk, trying desperately to cram any information that could help you brew the potion into your head. Not watching where you're going, you stumble into the table where the ingredients for the potion are located and knock over a jar filled with dried plants.

It rolls off the table and crashes to the floor. Several students glance in your direction and silence instantly falls around the room. Professor Snape looks up from his desk and his eyes land on you as you're kneeling down, trying to clean up the spilled scurvy grass.

"Miss y/ln, a word." he says in an unnervingly calm tone. He gives a sharp look to the rest of the class, as if telling them to get back to work.

_Fuck._

You instantly feel your face heat up and your stomach lurches with nervousness. You stand up and leave the mess behind you as you walk towards the Professor while trying to calm yourself. He doesn't glance up from his desk until you're stopped directly in front of his desk. As soon as his gaze lands on your face his eyes darken and a crease forms between his eyebrows.

"I'm sorry Professor, it was an accident, I-" you start to apologize but he interrupts you.

"Feeling a bit distracted today, are we?" Snape glares at you, "Coming to class late and unprepared, talking back to your professor, disrupting everyone's work, very disappointing." he says, shaking his head and looking back down. "10 points from y/h."

"I'm sorry sir, I've just been overwhelmed with school and-" you try to hopelessly explain but he cuts you off once again.

"Enough. I don't want to hear about your excuses." he says while writing something on the parchment on his desk. "See me after class."

"Yes, Professor." you say quickly.

You rush back to your workstation, flustered from the interaction. Everyone else has already started brewing their potion and you scramble to prepare your ingredients. You glance over the instructions in your textbook and quickly throw the herbs into your cauldron. You find the process of making potions very soothing, there's something peaceful about counting the number of times you stir the potion and watching it transform colors.

After a few minutes, the mixture in the cauldron starts to turn a deep green color and you laugh to yourself in disbelief. 

_I might not fail this after all._

Unprepared as you were today, it doesn't change the fact that you have a natural talent for brewing potions.

A voice from behind you pulls you back into reality, "Care to share what's so amusing?" Snape drawls.

You quickly turn to look at him, slightly shocked at how close he's standing. For the first time in your life, you notice how tall he really is. He looms over you, looking quite intimidating with a stern look on his face.

"Nothing." you say, turning back to your cauldron as your face turns a light shade of pink.

Professor Snape raises an eyebrow at you curiously and looks over your shoulder at the contents of your cauldron. Your heart beats faster at his proximity, and you almost drop your wand into the green mixture.

"Hm." he says with slight discontent in his voice. "I see you've somehow managed to pull yourself together." Snape takes a step away from you and starts to walk away to the next table. He suddenly stops and turns to you, giving you an odd glance, a look on his face you can't quite explain. But it disappears as soon as you notice it.

One by one, people in the class finish their potions and the Professor looks over each one, occasionally making a sound of slight disappointment accompanied by the shake of his head.

You go back to your desk and begin to slowly pack up your things. The bell rings and everyone begins to leave the classroom.

Everyone except you.


	3. After Class

You awkwardly fumble with your bag and focus intently on the material of the fabric. You trace a tear on the side of it while waiting for the classroom to fully clear out. A few seconds after the last student leaves, Professor Snape gives a sharp wave of his wand and the door of the classroom slams shut, you feel the sound of it echo through your chest. Your stomach drops, and you glance in Snape's direction to see him rising from his desk.

"Miss y/ln..." Snape says, extending your name in his mouth. You don't like the way it makes you feel. Or do you? You push the thought away.

You stand up from your chair, pulling your bag over one shoulder. You shift your body so you stand face to face with him. It's hard for you to, but you meet his gaze. He narrows his eyes at you, a confused look on his face.

"What am I going to do with you..." he ponders to himself, starting to slightly pace around the room.

Deep down, you know you're not here just because you knocked over one jar; shattered glass and spilled ingredients aren't rare occurrences in potions, and they're definitely not a reason to stay after class. You know he held you back because he's finally gotten fed up with your attitude from the past few weeks. He's been looking for any excuse to get you in trouble.

You look down at your feet, and notice your skirt is slightly crooked from when you haphazardly got dressed this morning. You attempt to fix it.

"Stop fussing with your clothes y/ln!" Professor Snape angrily snaps at you, a look of rage swimming across his face. He stops pacing.

You quickly drop your arms to your sides and snap your head up to look at him. You won't lie to yourself, that look of pure anger that briefly crossed his face scared you. But it also evoked a feeling in your body you couldn't quite explain.

"Why can't you just-" he starts, "Just focus!" he begins to walk over to you. You can feel the anger radiating from his body.

You shuffle your feet backwards, desperately wanting to create more space between you and him, until you feel your legs hit the wood of a table behind you. But he continues to walk closer, narrowing the distance between you to just a couple of feet.

His eyes are filled with rage as he stares into your eyes. He's looking at you like you're a confusing arithmancy problem, a puzzle he can't solve. You hold your breath in anticipation, intimidated by how close he is to you now.

"Maybe because you're constantly coming for my neck!" you snap, unable to hold yourself back. It feels like every time he gets angry with you for seemingly no reason, it has the opposite effect on you than he wants. Sure, you might be scared as hell right now, but you refuse to show him that.

He rushes to take one more step towards you, harshly putting his hand around your neck. You inhale sharply with surprise and you feel your bag drop to the floor with a thud.

"Oh, like this?" he slightly smirks with one raised eyebrow. You feel his hot breath on your face and it sends a shiver down your spine. The wood of the table behind you digs into your back and you grab the edge of it with your hands to stabilize yourself.

Snape's face is so close to yours now, you can see the details in his skin and you notice how dark his eyes are. You find yourself losing yourself in their depth, thinking about how much mystery they hold. You see the muscles in his eyebrows twitch as he stares at you.

"Don't. Test. Me." Professor Snape says, his face inches from yours, his lips slightly parted. He then swiftly removes his hand from your throat, looking slightly shocked at his own actions. He shakes his head as he returns to his desk, leaving you standing there in complete shock.

Deliberately and with focus, you kneel down to pick up your bag. Your legs are shaking under you and it takes all your strength not to collapse. You wonder to yourself what the hell you're supposed to say to him after that, you don't think you could manage to sputter out a single word, even if you knew what to say.

As you start heading towards the door, Snape looks up from his desk to watch you. You're completely unaware of the things you make him feel. He doesn't understand them, doesn't understand you. You're just another lazy student to him, an incompetent brat. So why do you have this effect on him?

You reach the door and your fingers graze the handle. You take a deep breath, grateful you're one step away from all of this being over.

"Detention." Snape says, as if suddenly remembering the reason he held you back in the first place. He's back to his calm, monotone voice. You turn your head over your shoulder to look at him across the room, disbelief flooding your face. 

"After dinner. Don't be late." he says without care and you see a slight smirk forming on his face.

You roll your eyes to yourself, pushing yourself out the door and slamming it behind you. You slouch against the dungeon wall, the stone cooling your body. You sigh and squeeze your eyes shut.

_What the hell was that?_

You mindlessly walk to your next class, replaying the events in your head. Confusing thoughts run through your mind and countless feelings flood your body. You make it to Transfiguration five minutes late, but you barely hear a word Professor McGonagall sternly yells at you as you walk to your seat.

Your mind is elsewhere.


	4. Detention

_Well, that was a trainwreck._

You walk out of Transfiguration disappointed in yourself. You spent hours studying for that test, all for nothing since you weren't able to focus.

As you were trying to conjure a dove, your mind was drowning with thoughts of Snape's face, the way his mouth parted as he was inches from your face, the way his breath felt on your nose, the way his hand felt, wrapped around your neck, the feeling that grew in your stomach as you became aware of the desk behind you and of him towering over you.

You ended up conjuring a strange looking crow with ruffled feathers, as if the bird had just escaped something trying to capture it. Professor McGonagall gave you a strange look as she was grading your performance, you usually did well in Transfiguration, and it was a rare occurrence for you to fail a test.

"y/n!" Laura snaps at you. 

You suddenly become aware of your surroundings and hurry to catch up with her.

"You okay? You seem a little out of it." Laura looks at you as you walk with her to your common room before lunch.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired, I guess." you reply, giving her an unconvincing smile.

"If you say so." she says sarcastically, but she doesn't push the matter further.

You reach your dormitory and flop down on your bed for a couple of minutes, trying to calm your mind.

_Just focus!_

A familiar voice in your head shouts and you remember how angry Snape had looked as he shouted those words at you just a couple of hours earlier.

You sit up. You can't stop thinking about him. Why can't you stop thinking about him?

The whole situation is so confusing. You know the Professor has always been mean, completely ruthless even, to his students, but you never thought he would choke someone for fucks sake!

You shake your head and close your eyes, determined to put the entire situation from your mind for now. After taking a couple of deep breaths you're soon calm enough to head to lunch.

You reach the Great Hall and search for Laura through the swarm of faces at the y/h table. She catches sight of you and waves you over. You rush over to where she's seated and plop down next to her.

"Feeling any better?" she raises her eyebrows at you as she takes a bite of her roast chicken.

"Yeah, thanks." you smile at her. This time the smile is more convincing, to her and to you. You soon forget about the events of that morning as you look around at the food in front of you, realizing how hungry you've become over the past few hours.

Lunch takes your mind off of Snape, who, across the hall, stares at you, his hand on his chin. He couldn't focus after your interaction either.

***

The rest of the day passes by uneventfully, you glide through your classes, even trying to pay extra attention in History of Magic just to take your mind off of Snape. However, your anxiety creeps up as the clock slowly ticks closer to 7pm.

You leave dinner five minutes early and head down to the dungeons for your detention. You don't want to give Snape the satisfaction of having a reason to yell at you, so you arrive at the potions classroom early.

As you bring your hand up to knock on the door, it flies open in front of you. You take a step forward and find yourself back in the classroom that you so desperately wanted to escape this morning. You feel all the confusing emotions that you had earlier today flood back, and no matter how hard you try to push them back down, they remain at the surface of your mind.

"Hello Professor." you say confidently, you don't want him to know how much his actions from earlier were troubling you.

Snape looks up from the essay he's grading with a slight look of surprise on his face, once again taken aback by your boldness towards him.

"You will be cleaning the cauldrons tonight." he says, nodding towards a door on the other side of the room. "They're in my office." he goes back to looking at the parchment in front of him.

You nod and start to head over to the door of his office, eager to put some distance between you and him.

"And no magic." he says, not looking up.

You nod, "I assumed..."

Snape looks up from his desk and eyes you for a couple of seconds, it feels like an eternity. It seems like he's waiting for you to turn away but you refuse to break eye contact. He narrows his eyes at you and finally looks back down.

As you step into his office, you can't help but look around curiously at everything in the room. A desk is in the corner, behind it is a wall of books. There are endless bottles of potions and ingredients on other shelves and stands around the room. Although there are more potions and jars than you can count, they seemed to be organized in a very particular way. The cauldrons are all piled away in a corner, next to a door you assume leads to Snape's private quarters. A bucket of water along with a cleaning brush sit next to the cauldrons.

You walk over to the heap of dirty cauldrons and begin to tirelessly scrub the residue off of them. Your arms start to ache after a while, but the activity prevents your mind from running in circles, and you soon find a rhythm to your work.

You hear the floor creak behind you as Snape walks through the open door. You silently curse to yourself, you're on the last cauldron and you were hoping to finish and get out without any further interaction with him.

Snape doesn't say a word as he walks in your direction, you continue scrubbing the cauldron, watching him out of the corner of your eye. He doesn't acknowledge you either, simply walking past you and beginning to examine his bookshelf with a look of concentration on his face.

He stays there for a minute or two, occasionally running his hand over a book and pulling it off the shelf to briefly examine it, just to end up putting it back and restarting the process all over again. You try to give your full attention to the cauldron in your hands, but you can't ignore Professor Snape. He stands only a couple of feet from where you kneel, and his presence is overpowering.

It seems like whenever Snape is near you, he takes over all your senses and becomes all you can think about. You're not sure why, you never had paid much attention to him throughout your years at Hogwarts, but something had seemed to flip inside you. His proximity to you after potions class earlier today evoked something in you, a desire to know who he is, to be close to him. It only seemed to be growing, no matter how much you tried to put the thought of him out of your head.

You glance over at him and notice how his long, slender fingers slide over the page of a book he's inspecting.

_Oh._

You finally come to understand the sudden feeling that takes over your body as you stare at him.

_Oh no. It can't be. It's not that, it can't be. I don't have a fucking crush on my Professor._

You notice him pause and slightly tilt his head and you pull your gaze back to your work.

You feel the tension. Almost like a web, entangling the air, connecting you and Professor Snape in a way you're not sure you want. It feels like he can read you like a book, simply by being in your presence. The air feels thick in your lungs and you feel extremely exposed.

_I'll ignore it. Emotions pass, crushes pass. It'll go away on its own._

You quickly finish cleaning the last cauldron and set it in the neatly arranged pile with the others. You feel this pressure to do everything perfectly, so he has absolutely no reason to yell at you. But you know he'll find a way, an excuse, a complaint, no matter what you do. And it drives you crazy.

You stand up and turn around to find he's now standing only a foot away from you. Your eyes widen a little, but otherwise, you hide your surprise at his closeness fairly well.

You suddenly become extremely aware of the silence engulfing the room.

_How is silence so loud?_

"I think there's beauty in it." he says after a moment, tilting his head ever so slightly, as if in deep thought.

"What?" you say in confusion.

"In silence." he replies, raising his eyebrows.

_Shit._

You become flustered as you search for what to say. "Don't you think you've ruined my day enough? In class this morning, this detention, and now you're reading my thoughts too?" you say angrily, your tone becoming more shaky with each word. You hate yourself for giving him the satisfaction of having this effect on you, but you've had enough of his little game.

"No need to get upset." A slight smirk forms across his face. "I was simply discerning if there was anything you were hiding from me." he slightly narrows his eyes.

You remember the things you thought about him, the feelings you realized were there, and you try to clear your mind of any thoughts of him.

"And it appears there is." Snape raises an eyebrow and darts his eyes around your face for any sort of reaction. You can tell he's trying to read you again.

You stand in silence for a second, panicking. "I don't know what you're talking about." you lie to him, breaking his gaze and turning to start towards the door of his office.

_Get out. Get out of my head._

For the second time today, all you want to do is escape this classroom.

You inhale sharply as Snape grabs your arm and spins you around to face him, pulling your body close to his. His face is inches away from yours and you feel his breath on your face.

"Don't. Lie. To me." he says, accentuating each syllable while staring deeply into your eyes.

Your eyes flutter and you feel overwhelmed with emotions. He knows you have some form of feelings towards him, might as well have some fun with it.

"Or what?" you reply with slight amusement.

Snape grips your arm tighter, further pressing his body against yours. Your breath falters and you glance down at his lips for a second before looking back up to meet his gaze.

"If you truly don't want this, fine. Tell me, and I'll drop it." he says, his voice slightly quieter.

You're taken aback by his words. You want to say no, you don't want this, you want to escape his grasp, leave and never look back, because thinking of the other option makes your knees weak and your stomach flip. You know the smart thing to do would be to back out now. To walk out of the door and forget this entire day happened.

"I want this." you whisper. You can't help the words that slip out of your mouth.

The hand that's not gripping your arm finds its way to the small of your back and he pulls you close to him. The ache in your stomach grows stronger as you smell his unique scent, a mix of of smoke, herbs, and musk.

"Good." he whispers, flicking his eyes to your lips and back up to your eyes.

He leans down to you and his lips are on yours, your eyes fluttering closed. All the anxiety that was built up in your chest completely dissolves and the world around you fades away. All that matters in this moment is his touch, his lips on yours.

You can feel the slight hesitance in his touch at first, but that too fades away as you kiss him back and he deepens the kiss, pulling you even closer. You wrap your arms around his neck, intoxicated by the warmth he radiates.

Snape pulls away to look into your eyes, as if silently asking your permission to continue. His eyes are full of lust, and you catch sight of something else in them too, something deeper. Desire, hunger, for you. It's almost too much for you to take.

You pull his face back down to yours, and he wraps both of his arms around your waist. Without breaking the kiss, he turns you and guides you to the desk in the corner of the room, pushing you against it. You sigh against his mouth as his hands run down to your thighs, and he slightly pushes your thighs up to help you sit on the edge of the desk.

Keeping his lips on yours, Snape pulls his wand out of his robe and with one swift motion, the door to his office closes and locks.

_That was hot._

You feel him smirk against your lips and you shove him back, slightly irritated.

"Hey!" you say.

"Alright, I'll stop." he gives you another look full of pure desire before pulling your body close to his and meeting your lips once more.

He pushes your knees apart, and steps in between your legs. You moan as you feel him against you, and he slips his tongue into your open mouth. Your arms wrap around his body and his stay around your hips, keeping you close to him.

You kiss for a while, but then out of nowhere, Snape pulls away from your touch and glances towards the clock on his wall.

"It's late. You should go." he says with a sense of urgency in his voice, turning away from you.

You sit on the desk in shock for a couple of seconds, catching your breath.

_Did I do something wrong?_

But he doesn't respond to your thoughts, he simply gives you one last glance before waving the door open with his wand.

You stare at him for a few more moments, bewildered at the events that just took place and his sudden change in mood.

"Well, goodnight, then." you say lightly, turning towards the door.

"Goodnight." he says quickly, sitting down in the chair behind his desk and pulling out something to work on. He doesn't glance up at you as he wonders how he let himself get caught up by you. For a moment when he was kissing you, he lost himself, lost control, and it terrifies him.

You walk out of his office, and out of his classroom.

_What the fuck._


	5. A Walk in the Moonlight

You stroll lazily to breakfast the next day, up early enough to enjoy the morning for once.

"Did you end up figuring out that Charms homework?" Laura asks you, walking by your side.

"It's not due until next week." you say, briefly glancing at her. "So, no. I went to bed."

"Yeah, I know. I just wanted to get it done early, you know, with the quidditch match in a couple of days and everything." she explains. "I like to enjoy things without having to worry about homework that I put off doing until the last minute." Laura looks at you pointedly.

"Hey! Doing it last minute always makes it turn out better!" you argue. "I don't get how you do everything so early. How you seem to have your shit together all the time." you shake your head at her.

It's true, Laura was at the top of your class, she seemed to have it all figured out, something you always were slightly jealous of her for.

She sighs and looks at you, "That's not true, it's hard work, you know, to keep up appearances." irritation behind her voice. "I can't wait to graduate, break all forms of contact with my parents who expect nothing less than perfection all the time."

"Fuck that. Perfection is overrated." you say, smiling at her.

"Cheers to that." she says.

You sit down with Laura at the y/h table and dig into some toast. You woke up in a better mood than the day before, knowing you didn't have Potions today. You still hadn't completely processed what happened the night before in Professor Snape's office and frankly, you were grateful you didn't have to think about it, didn't have to figure out how you would face him in class. The best thing to do was to put him out of your mind completely; you weren't going to let him and his mixed signals take over your entire life.

But you can't help your curiosity. One glance couldn't hurt, right? You look up from your plate at the staff table and find that his eyes are on you already. You slowly swallow the food in your mouth.

_How long has he been looking at me?_

You attempt a smile, almost as a test to see what terms you're on. He looks away quickly, suddenly fascinated by the tomato on his plate.

_Bad terms, apparently._

You go back to talking with Laura, your mind slowly drifts back to last night. The bell soon rings, signaling the end of breakfast, and you head to your first class of the day, Herbology.

***

Laura convinces you to work on the Charms homework with her as you walk out of your last class. You reluctantly agree and together you set off for the library.

You finish your homework pretty fast and decide to stay to keep Laura company. You stroll lazily around the shelves near your table, looking for a book to pass the time. You notice a guy with ruffled brown hair and Hufflepuff robes eyeing you from across the library, but you ignore him.

You glance back at the table to see Laura with her head in her hands.

"I hate Arithmancy." she whispers to herself.

"Your fault for taking it, thinking you're better than the rest of us." you tease her.

"Absolute idiots, all of them. I tried to make a study group, but they all just gave me weird looks. I don't know why they're taking such a hard class if they're not willing to put in any effort." she grumbles about her classmates.

You laugh quietly while going back to browsing for a book to read. You're reading the back cover of a book about The Wizarding World's Smartest Trolls when you hear someone walk up behind you.

"You done?" you ask who you assume is Laura, not looking up.

You hear a deep voice laugh and you shoot your head up, very confused.

"You're not Laura." you say to the boy wearing Hufflepuff robes.

He shakes his head. "Sorry to disappoint." he gives you a weak smile.

"Oh." you say awkwardly, not knowing how to respond.

"My name's Cedric." the boy says. You notice a glint in his eyes.

"y/n." you respond, smiling.

"I like your name." he says, tilting his head to the side.

"Thanks." you laugh, a smile tugging on your lips.

Cedric looks like he wants to say something else, but after a few seconds of awkward silence, you decide to head back to the table to check on Laura's progress. However, when you reach the table, you find that she's gone. Her stuff is still there, so you sit back down in your seat.

Cedric emerges from the shelves, following you. He places himself across from you, next to Laura's seat, and pulls out a completely red book from his bag.

You stare at him, confused.

_Didn't even ask if he could sit here._

"So." you say after a few seconds of awkward silence, "Whatcha reading?" you ask him.

He looks up from his book, with a strange look in his eyes.

"It's a secret." he whispers, attempting to look mysterious.

"Yeah, okay. What is it then?" you say, rolling your eyes.

"Well it wouldn't be a secret anymore if you knew, would it?" he says, leaning his elbows on the table, his face closer to yours.

You squint at him, trying to figure out his game. He looks back down at his book, but he's still leaning on the table, attempting to be near you.

"Well why are you even sitting here?" you ask, a little irritated.

_Where's Laura?_

"I have my reasons." he gives you a mischievous smile.

"And what would those be?" you say challengingly, leaning on the table. You can see right through his mysterious front, but you gotta admit, he's not bad looking.

Cedric simply stares at your face, but you refuse to back down now. You've had enough of guys thinking they have power over you.

"Top secret reasons, of course." he whispers and smiles at you.

Guys your age are idiots, and Cedric is no exception to you. You can see he's obviously trying to impress you in his own weird way, but there's a charm to him nonetheless.

"Yeah, okay, Sherlock Holmes." you can't help but laugh quietly.

A look of confusion crosses his face for a moment before lighting up with realization. "Ah yes, I remember reading about him in Muggle Studies."

You chat with Cedric for a while. He obviously wants to make a move, but is too hesitant too. You know you could never see yourself with him, with anyone your age really, but the attention is nice nonetheless. His face beams at you as you laugh at his cheesy jokes. You become so enveloped in the conversation that you don't even notice Snape enter the library. The Professor catches sight of you, however, and storms out before you see him.

"Well, how's it going?" Laura says, gliding to the table with a smirk on her face.

You frown at her.

_This was a set up._

"And where have you been?" you ask her.

"Just doing some research for my paper." she responds, briefly glancing at Cedric.

"Sure." you say sarcastically, noting her hands which are empty of books.

"I see you've met Cedric!" Laura says cheerfully.

Cedric looks over at you and smiles, you give him a small smile back. And before you can figure out what just happened, Cedric abruptly stands up.

"Well, it was nice talking to you y/n! Maybe we'll talk again soon!" he says, his face turning a light shade of pink. He smiles like an idiot while rushing towards the door of the library.

Your eyes follow him and your eyebrows furrow at Laura. "What the hell was that about?" you ask her.

"Oh, it's not a big deal. He just wanted to talk to you, but was too nervous, and he asked me to help him." Laura responds while packing up her stuff. "He's a nice guy, Cedric, I thought you might like him." she smiles at you.

"What makes you think I want a boyfriend?" you say slightly irritated.

"Come on y/n, I was just trying to be nice! I've noticed you've been kind of weird lately. I thought this might help. Or at the very least, distract you from whatever is going on that you refuse to tell me about." she explains.

"There's nothing going on!" you say loudly, gaining a couple of glares from students around you. She had been bugging you ever since you failed your Transfiguration test. She's onto you.

"Come on," Laura grabs your arm. "You can tell me all about your romantic library date at dinner!"

You roll your eyes and follow her out of the library.

***

That night you lie wide awake in bed, and even though it's November, you're sweating. The curtains around you feel suffocating, and you pull them back. You need fresh air.

Unsure of what time it is, you pull yourself quietly out of bed and pull on a robe around your pajamas. You slip some shoes on and swiftly walk out of the door and into the common room. The fireplace is still burning.

It's stupid to roam the halls at night, but you have an inexplicable urge to do just that. You feel like it's exactly what you need to do at this moment.

_YOLO lmao._

You slip out into the hall and feel instant relief at the cool air that hits your face. You look around the corridor, looking for any sign of Filch. The coast looks clear, so you cautiously start walking down the empty corridor.

The only source of light comes from the windows of the castle, the moon shining brightly outside. Long shadows cover the floor. Soft snores come from the paintings around you.

You take a deep breath. The air feels crisp, refreshing. It cools your skin and calms your mind. As you walk, you take each step deliberately, being as quiet as you can. After a while, you're feeling a lot better, your mind clear. You decide to head back.

You turn on your heels and you let out a gasp as you see Professor Snape, turning the corner and walking into the corridor you're in. He stops in his tracks when he catches sight of you before resuming his walk at a faster pace.

_Fuck._

"Miss y/ln..." Snape glides towards you. "What might you be doing, wandering the halls this late at night?" he says in a hushed voice, but there's power behind it nonetheless.

"Needed fresh air." you sputter out nervously.

You think for a moment about making a run for it, but you know there's no use. He's just a few feet away from you now.

"Is that so?" he says, raising his eyebrows, walking closer.

"Yes." you nod, trying to subtly get around him. "I was just headed back actually, so there's no need to-" you feel Snape grab your arm just as you turn your back to him.

"Not. So. Quick. y/ln." he says, the grip on your arm tightening.

You slowly turn to face him and are met with his piercing stare. The moonlight hits him, creating shadows on his face which make him look even more intimidating than usual.

_It can't get much worse. Not here, not in this corridor._

"I think you underestimate what I'm capable of doing to you." Snape whispers, his eyes narrowing.

Your face burns when you realize he's reading your thoughts again.

"What do you want from me? Gonna choke me again?" you ask, your cheeks continue to burn, your embarrassment turning into anger.

Snape forcefully grabs your other arm and pushes you against the wall. You're left breathless as the air in your lungs gets pushed out from your back hitting the cold stone.

"Enough! What gives you the idea that you're allowed to speak to me like that?" he growls, pushing his face close to yours.

"And what gives you the idea that you can mess with my emotions?" you whisper-shout.

"You are my student. Nothing more. Your emotions don't concern me." Snape says, slightly easing his grip on your arm.

"Normally teachers don't pin their students against a wall." you glare at him

"Why do you insist on making my life more insufferable than it already is?" he raises his voice slightly.

"What? You were the one- How can you say that after kicking me out and ignoring me last night?" you stammer, straining to keep your voice quiet.

"It was late." he spits, "And besides, you clearly didn't seem to mind the lack of my presence while you were in the library."

You're confused for a second, until you realize, Cedric. Snape must've seen you and him talking. 

_Is he jealous?_

You try to hold back a laugh.

"What, I'm not allowed to talk to guys?" you respond. Your body is flooded with conflicting emotions, you feel an immense amount of anger towards him, but you can't rid your mind of the thought of how his body would feel against yours.

"You know very well that's not all you were doing." he narrows his eyes at you and his brows furrow together in frustration.

"You don't control me. As you said, I'm only your student, nothing more." you say, your voice shaking slightly.

His hand releases your arm and goes to grip your throat. He brings his face closer to yours.

"Is that really what you want?" he drawls.

You struggle to breathe and your head spins slightly from the pressure of his hand on your throat. You attempt to glare at him, but you feel the ache in your stomach grow as your feelings for him flood through your body.

Snape's angry stare darts back and forth between your eyes. You stare back, unable to respond. His desire for you becomes too overwhelming and he rushes to close the small gap between your faces. His lips are on yours again, kissing you roughly, his anger and desire entangled into one big mess.

You don't hesitate to kiss him back, your arms instantly find his body, and you pull him closer to you by his shoulders. He presses himself against you, his grip on your throat lightning as his other arm fits itself between your lower back and the wall. He pulls your body into his further, and you sigh quietly.

Your hands move to his hair, and his lips move down to your neck. You tilt your head back against the wall as he nibbles the skin under your jaw. His hands run down your body and come to rest at your hips. You tug at his hair lightly and he bring his lips back up to meet yours. He licks your bottom lip and slips his tongue into your mouth as soon as you part your lips.

You feel him grow hard against you and your body grows weak as your mind runs wild, imagining what it would be like to-

He pulls away without warning.

_Fuck's sake, not again._

"We can't do this. Not here." Snape says, shaking his head. He glances in both directions, surveying the corridor, before looking back at you. You notice how tousled his hair looks. You can't help but feel slightly pleased with yourself that you did that to him. His face becomes serious again.

"10 points from y/h for being in the halls this late at night." he glares at you, "And detention. Tomorrow night." his look is stern, but you see slight amusement behind his eyes.

"Yes Professor." you respond, still breathless.

His eyes move down your body then dart back up to your eyes. He leans close to you, his mouth by your ear.

"Expect a punishment. I am done going easy on you." Snape whispers harshly. You feel goosebumps cover your skin. He looks into your eyes once more before disappearing down the hall.

A door slams in the distance.

You're left standing in the hallway in complete shock.


	6. As Per Usual

The next morning, you walk down the stairs towards the dungeons, mentally preparing yourself for the day ahead. It's early to be heading to class, breakfast doesn't end for another 15 minutes, but you're eager to see Professor Snape. You pull your skirt higher up your waist as you near the potions classroom.

The door is open so you walk in without knocking. The room is empty of students. You glance around for any sign of Professor Snape's presence, but he's nowhere to be found either. The only sound in the room comes from a cauldron gurgling at the other end of the room.

You breathe in the smell of the potions classroom as you approach your seat; parchment, potion ingredients, and Snape. You smile to yourself.

Setting down your bag, you turn your body, about to sit down, when you see Snape standing in the doorway.

His eyes dart down to your skirt, and his lips slightly part before he catches himself, his face becoming grim again.

"Are you here early for any reason in particular, or did you just feel inclined to pester me?" Snape says in his monotone voice while taking swift steps to his desk.

"Just wanted to talk." you say, taking a step in the direction of his desk.

Snape eyes you curiously as he sets himself down in his chair. You continue walking forward.

"And what exactly is it that you wanted to discuss?" he sighs impatiently.

"My grade, what else would I want to talk about with my Professor?" you say slowly, "Unless you had some other ideas in mind, of course..."

You're close enough now to lean on his desk. You place your hands on the edge of it and lean closer to him.

You can see something flash through his eyes, and you smirk at him. Snape knows he can't do anything to you right now, it would be too risky, another student could walk in at any moment.

"Sit down." Snape snarls.

You raise your eyebrows at him.

"Whatever you say, sir." you smirk and turn around, swaying your hips lightly as you stroll back to your seat.

Snape simply stares at you, an unrelenting frown plastered on his face.

You innocently pull out your textbook and pretend to be fascinated by the recipe for a Pepperup Potion. You feel his eyes on you, but you don't look up.

"And fix your uniform." Snape says flatly.

You glance up and tilt your head to the side. "Are you sure that's what you want?" you smirk.

You can't help but tease him, you know it drives him mad. He can't do anything about your remarks towards him. For now, at least. But little to your knowledge, every time you smirk at him, his mind comes up with another idea for your detention tonight.

As Professor Snape opens his mouth to reprimand you, a student wearing Slytherin robes strolls into the classroom, holding a copy of The Daily Prophet and darting his eyes around the words on the page.

Snape quickly looks back down at the parchment on his desk.

The classroom begins to fill up as the clock ticks closer to 9 am. You lazily flip through the Potions textbook, glancing up at Snape once in a while. He doesn't look at you though, his eyes staying focused on the parchment on his desk.

After the last person walks in, Snape abruptly stands up and rushes to slam the door shut.

"Today we will be discussing the uses and effects of the Befuddlement Draught you all attempted to brew last class." he bellows from the back of the class. A couple of people turn in their seats to look at him.

Professor Snape lazily strolls up the aisle in between the tables, occasionally frowning at students doing work for another class.

When Snape reaches your seat, he forcefully slams your textbook shut, making you sit up straight in your seat in surprise.

"Now." Snape glares at you as he turns towards the rest of the class. "Who can tell me, without looking at their books," he glances pointedly at you, "What is the use of the Befuddlement Draught?"

The hands of a few people shoot up, and he nods at a Slytherin.

"It causes the drinker to become restless, aggressive." the Slytherin girl answers

Snape nods. "10 points to Slytherin." he spins on his heels and begins pacing.

You notice the consistency in his steps, everything he does is so meticulous, so carefully planned out. As he saunters around the room, you observe the light sway of his arms, how his torso turns, how his hair bounces with each step. You're fascinated by the movements of his body that are imperceptible to others, the very specific way his hands intertwine when he's waiting for someone to answer a question. He makes your head spin just by existing.

"y/ln!" Snape says forcefully, pulling you out of your thoughts.

You shoot your head up to look at the Professor. He stares back at you, his eyebrows raised expectedly.

"Sorry, what?" you ask, your face burning.

"I said, what is an unintended side effect that's often observed in those who consume the potion?" Snape takes a step towards you. "Pull yourself out of your day dreams, and pay attention."

The sting in your face is almost painful as it burns a brighter shade of red.

"Sorry Professor," you search your brain for an answer and take a deep breath. "Nausea, the drinker often experiences nausea a few hours after taking the potion." you respond steadily.

Snape's eye twitches and a look of discomfort crosses his face. Your answer was unexpectedly perfect.

"20 points from y/h for having to repeat myself." he says harshly.

Snape goes back to his lecture, proceeding to cold call on students who look like they don't know the answer.

You trace a small engraving in the wood of your table, unable to pay attention to what he's saying, utterly consumed by his enchanting voice.

The bell rings and you stand up from your seat. You look over at him, trying to catch his eye, but he's too absorbed in setting up the room for his next class, carrying ingredients to the tables.

As you turn to walk out, he looks up at you and his eyes follow your figure out the door.


	7. Punishment

You're thankful the rest of the day passes by uneventfully, it's given you time to prepare yourself for your detention tonight. You have no idea what Snape has in store for you, but he did say to expect a punishment, and he's not one to make empty threats.

Laura doesn't question you when you leave dinner a half an hour early. She's distracted by a sixth year from your house who she's been flirting with for the majority of dinner.

You assume she had been crushing on them for a while and just hid it from you, because their conversation seemed to flow like they were childhood friends. For a second you wonder why she hadn't told you anything about them.

_You have bigger problems to worry about right now._

You walk through the halls to your dormitory, and rush into your room. Before sliding into bed, you kick off your shoes, slip off your extremely constricting tights, and shake off your robes.

You just wanted some time to yourself, some time to sit in silence and be calm, before facing your detention with Professor Snape.

The fireplace in the common room hasn't been lit yet and the entire dormitory is void of people and the heat they bring; your nose grows cold after a few minutes. The blankets on your bed seem to become softer, shielding you from the frigid air.

At some point, your eyes slowly close.

***

You wake with a start at the sound of people entering the common room.

_What time is it?_

You glance at a clock on the wall.

7:10

_FUCK FUCK FUCK_

You stumble out of bed and pull on your shoes and your robe, rushing out of the door of your room. As you fly down the staircase and into the common room, a couple of people call after you, but you ignore them.

You sprint through the castle, down to the dungeons. You shove a group of first years standing in the middle of a corridor out of the way and they shout after you. You don't care.

Your legs burn and your heart is beating out of your chest, not only from the physical exertion, but from the panic flooding your body of how Snape will react.

You reach the dungeons and the door to Professor Snape's classroom. The door is ajar and you burst in, not stopping to catch your breath or to fix your disheveled clothes.

Professor Snape is sitting at his desk, an unnervingly calm look on his face.

"You're late y/ln." he says, tilting his head back and eyeing your body.

His calm tone scares you more than if he had yelled at you. You were expecting him to shout, to hurt you, even.

"I'm so sorry, Professor- I accidentally fell asleep- I don't even- I know it's not an excuse-" you attempt to explain yourself, completely breathless. You hurry forward to face him in front of his desk as you're talking.

"Silence." Snape puts up his hand and you shut your mouth mid-sentence. He glances at the clock and silently notes the time.

7:14

Professor Snape slowly pushes his chair back and stands. You're still trying to catch your breath and it feels like your heart is about to burst.

He rounds his desk and stops in front of you. You stand your ground, meeting his eyes. He waves the door closed, and to your surprise, it closes lightly without slamming.

_Why is he so calm?_

"Are you angry?" you ask him nervously, glancing at the door, slightly confused.

"Perhaps." he raises an eyebrow at you, looking you up and down. You can't read the expression in his eyes.

Snape takes a step closer to you. You look up at him. He towers over you, his stare sending goosebumps down your body.

"What's my punishment?" you ask in a shaky voice.

Snape leans down to you, his gaze never leaving your eyes. His face is so close to yours that you can feel his breath on your skin. "You'll find out soon enough."

Then he abruptly stands up straight and begins to take long strides to his office.

_There he goes, running away again._

You rush to catch up with him, confused.

As soon as you're through the doorway, Professor Snape waves the door shut behind you.

He gives you a fierce look and you can now clearly see the intense anger in his eyes.

Before you can register what's happened, you're shoved backwards by Snape and pushed against the closed door. He presses his body against yours and his hands land on the door on either side of your head, trapping you.

"Here's what's going to happen." Snape growls. "You will hand yourself over completely."

Heat spreads in your stomach and between your legs, his deep voice turning you on. But you can't help but wonder, what would happen if you refused?

"I can assure you," he whispers slowly, "You don't want to find out what happens if you don't obey me."

You swallow hard. You realize that you're trapped in this room with him, that there's no turning back now. He scares you, but at the same time, his controlling demeanor turns you on.

"Do I make myself clear?" he asks.

You nod.

"Use your words y/ln." he demands while his hands slide your robe off of you, letting it drop to the floor.

You shiver at the cold dungeon air and become aware of your bare legs.

"Yes Professor. I understand." you say, attempting to keep your voice steady.

He takes a step back from you, regaining his composure, looking calm once more. His body is completely void of emotion, but his eyes burn brightly with rage. 

"Sit on my desk." Snape commands you.

Easy enough.

You wonder for a second if he really is going to punish you. Maybe his entire front is fake.

"Yes, sir." you say and do as you're told, carefully walking to the desk as he watches you. His gaze makes you nervous.

When you've settled yourself on the top of his desk, he walks over to you slowly. He stares at your face for a few moments.

You wonder what he's thinking, what his plans are for you, and you're slightly taken aback when he kisses you.

Snape presses his lips hard against yours, and the kiss gets rougher with each passing second. Your legs open willingly and he doesn't hesitate to press himself against you. He bends his neck down over you, grabbing the back of your head with both of his hands to deepen the kiss. Your arms roam his chest and move to his back, you pull him closer.

One of his hands slides down to your waist, and he slowly leans you back on his desk. He continues kissing your mouth, looming over you. He unbuttons your shirt, sliding his hand on your stomach. He roams your breasts with his hands as he slips your shirt off. His hand feels icy against your warm skin.

Then he moves one hand to your hip, and the other slides down your body to your thigh. His touch sends waves of pleasures through you, and you can't help the moan that escapes your lips.

Snape pulls away suddenly from your lips, and you open your eyes to see him a couple of inches away from you.

"Be quiet." he demands, his eyes full of lust.

Before you can protest, his lips are on yours again, his hand sliding around your thigh.

You hold back the sounds threatening to escape your mouth as Snape roughly tightens his grip on your waist.

He pulls himself away from your body, and flips you over on the desk. You gasp loudly as the cold wood makes contact with your skin.

"What did I just say?" Snape's voice bellows behind you.

You feel his fingers slide down your sides and down to your thighs. He pushes his hands back up, bringing your skirt up along with them. Your ass is completely exposed to him.

Snape's eyes roam your body hungrily, he would love nothing more than to take you right here on this desk. But you don't deserve the pleasure he knows it would bring you, not yet. He has other plans in mind.

Snape lifts a hand up and brings it down with force on your ass.

You let out a small yelp, quickly bringing a hand to your mouth to cut it off. You were completely unprepared for that.

"Are you incapable of restraining yourself?" he shouts. "Don't make me repeat myself!"

You bite your lip hard and keep you hand pressed to your mouth as he brings his hand down again.

He takes a deep breath in and he hits you for the third time.

The fourth hit sends a wave of pain mixed with pleasure through you.

He continues to strike the same spot of your ass over and over again, five, six, seven.

His hand pushes down on your body as he adjusts himself to the other side of you.

Your relief of him switching sides is soon replaced by pain, his hand coming down even harder on this side. You lose count of how many times his hand strikes your skin. Your legs start to falter under you, and you desperately reach out for something to grab onto, gripping the edge of the Professor's desk.

Snape continues to strike your skin for what feels like an eternity. Just as you feel you're about to pass out from the overwhelming pain flooding through you, Snape removes his hands from your body and takes a step back.

You slouch against the desk, unable to move, trying to catch your breath.

"For every minute you were late." he says in a deep tone.

You try to push yourself up on your arms, but find that you can barely hold yourself up. You glance over your shoulder, and meet Snape's fixed gaze. There is no sympathy in his eyes. In fact, he takes pleasure from seeing you squirm under him, even if it is from pain.

"Have you learned your lesson?" Snape asks in his monotone voice.

You nod your head weakly.

He lets you rest for a minute, staring at you. You slowly regain enough strength to stand up from his desk. Your legs feel weak under you, but you know it would be more painful to sit down, the skin under your skirt burns.

A few moments pass like that, you standing just in front of his desk, him staring at you with no remorse on his face.

"Get on your knees." Snape demands suddenly.

Your eyes widen, but you now know better than to hesitate or to talk back. You do as you're told, kneeling in front of him. Your knees hit the cold stone floor.

You get to eye level with his crotch and you see his pants straining to keep his bulge contained.

Professor Snape stares down at you, and you look up to meet his eyes.

"Undo them." he says in a controlled tone.

You open the button to his pants, sliding the zipper down.

"Pull them down." he says, still looking at you.

You pull down his pants along with his boxers and gape at his length.

_Must be at least 10 inches._

"Open your mouth."

You part your lips and open your mouth, staring into his eyes. He steps closer to you and lines his dick up with your mouth. You close your lips around it.

"Suck." he commands.

You take more of him into your mouth and begin to suck.

"Good girl." Snape says in a throaty voice.

You take more of him into your mouth, squeezing your eyes shut as you strain to keep yourself from coughing. You're scared of him, scared what he would do to you if you pushed him out of your mouth to catch your breath.

Snape's hands tangle into your hair, guiding your head up and down. He pushes himself deep into your mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat. You wrap your hands around the base of his dick, stroking what can't reach your mouth.

You take a deep breath, trying to compose yourself, trying not to cough.

His breathing gets heavier, but he doesn't make much noise as your head bobs up and down his length.

As he gets closer and closer to finishing, he thrusts into your mouth with increasing force. He pulls on your hair as he controls your head, using you for his pleasure.

You can't help but gag as he picks up his pace. Snape however, pushed closer to the edge from the sound, doesn't say anything, but speeds up even more.

You suck harder, knowing he's close. You feel like you're about to pass out from the lack of oxygen in your brain, but Snape doesn't care, he keeps pushing himself in your mouth.

He lets out the smallest of groans, so quiet you almost missed it. But you didn't, and his voice makes heat pool in between your legs.

After a few more hard thrusts, he finishes in your mouth, slowing down his pace as he comes down from his high.

You swallow all of his cum without hesitation and he looks down at you, his eyes softening for a brief moment.

He pulls himself out of your mouth and backs away from you while pulling his pants back up. While he adjusts his clothes, you catch your breath.

Snape stares down at you, and you look up at him, wondering what else he has in store for you. You don't know much more you can take.

"Stand up y/ln." he says.

You're too exhausted and turned on to argue with him. You push yourself up off the cold ground and stand facing him.

You look like a mess; your skirt halfway up your torso, your ass burning bright red, your hair tangled.

Then there's Snape; besides his slightly messed up collar, he looks completely put together.

You feel that should make you angry, at how unfair this entire situation is to you. However, the thought of Professor Snape using you for his pleasure intensifies the deep ache in your stomach and the light dizziness in your head.

He takes a step towards you, and wraps his arms around your frame before leaning down to meet your lips. This kiss is slower, more passionate. You wrap your arms around his neck, feeling comfort at his touch.

Snape kisses you for a few more moments before pushing you against the hard wall. His hands roam your body, sending chills down your spine. His fingers trace your side, the curves of your waist and your hips, down to your thighs. He rests his hand on your thigh, rubbing circles into the skin.

Then, his hand begins to moves up your thigh and under your skirt. He traces the outline of your underwear with his finger. His fingers stretch the fabric at your hip, and he grazes his fingers over your skin in a teasing way.

His thumb moves to touch you over your underwear, and you let out a sigh. Your body longs for him.

"Already soaked I see..." Snape raises an eyebrow at you and smirks. "Aching for my touch..." he drawls, bringing his lips back to yours.

He presses his thumb against your clit over your underwear and you moan against him.

"Naughty, naughty, girl." he whispers in your ear, shaking his head. His intense stare sends a shiver down your spine.

You push your hips lightly against his hand when he begins to rub your clit over your underwear in circles.

Snape gives a soft chuckle and lets go of you, leaving you slouching against the wall.

_What the hell?_

"You didn't think you could get away with speaking to me like that in class, did you?" he raises his eyebrows at you. "Testing me how you did..." he shakes his head to himself again.

Snape leans close to you. "I will touch you when you're a good girl." he whispers in your ear.

He slowly backs his face away from yours, a satisfied look on his face. He turns to grab your shirt from his desk.

"Get dressed." he says, throwing the shirt at you.

You grab it, standing in disbelief.

"Your detention is over." Snape announces, nodding at you.

Before you can say a word to him, he slips out the door, and he's gone again.


	8. Under His Control

It takes a couple of moments for you to collect yourself enough to button up your shirt. Your fingers tremble and you can barely stand up straight. When you’ve finished fixing your uniform, you walk over to your robe, pooled on the floor by the door, and kneel to pick it up. 

Without Snape’s body pressed against yours, it’s freezing. The robe doesn’t provide much comfort as you slip it on, it's cooled from the stone floor.

You step out the door of Professor Snape’s office and start to walk towards the door of the classroom.

“I hope it goes without saying,” Snape suddenly says across the room, organizing textbooks in a corner, “That this will not be mentioned to anyone.” he glances at you.

You turn your head to him in surprise, and your face burns red from seeing his expression. You thought he had left completely and you were unprepared to face him after tonight’s happenings.

“Yes, of course. Professor.” you slowly nod, a slight tremble in your voice.

Snape stays silent, watching you. He doesn’t seem to have anything else to say, so you cautiously approach the door of the classroom as he follows you with his eyes.

You have your fingers on the handle when he speaks up again.

“y/n.” he says quietly.

You jump slightly, hearing him say your first name. You turn your body towards him, unable to look up, your face still burning intensely. The way your name rolled off his tongue almost made you pass out on the spot. 

Snape begins to walk closer to you as you stare at your feet. He stops a few feet away from you, and slows down his pace as he carefully nears you.

He brings his hand up to your chin and tilts your head up, forcing you to meet his gaze. As your eyes lock with his, your stomach flutters, the dull ache for him growing once again.

“Tonight, it-” Snape looks away for a second, pausing. He is at a complete loss of words, he has no idea what he’s supposed to say, what he even wants to say.

Snape reassures himself that you deserved the punishment for being such a brat. But at the same time, it was hard for him to pull away from you, for him to take away the look of pleasure on your face. He quickly shakes away the thought of how beautiful you had looked to him in that moment, his hand under your skirt, your lips parted, head tilted back.

Snape looks back at you and quickly drops his hand.

“It’s almost curfew.” he narrows his eyes. "You should leave."

You look away from him and reach towards the door once again. You push yourself out of the classroom and begin walking to your dormitory without another glance back.

The door stays open for a couple more moments, but you hear it close as you reach the stairs.

_Asshole._

You walk back to your room, the castle is mostly empty as curfew approaches and people head to their common rooms. You take deep breaths and count your steps, trying to calm yourself. You remember tomorrow is a Saturday, and you feel grateful you'll be able to sleep in a little.

You enter your room and immediately collapse on your bed, passing out as soon your head hits the pillow. 

You don’t notice Laura’s bed is empty.

***

When you enter the great hall the next morning, you see Laura sitting in her usual spot at the y/h table. She's hunched over her plate, her hair looks messier than usual and her uniform is dirty. She doesn’t look up or acknowledge you as you sit next to her.

“Hey.” you say awkwardly, looking at her from the corner of your eye as you load eggs onto your plate. You can sense something is wrong, but you never were good at comforting people, and you don’t know how to bring it up.

“Hey.” Laura responds quietly, pushing around the beans on her full plate. 

You turn to fully look at her, and see dark circles under her puffy eyes and a small cut by her eyebrow.

“Laura!” you say in a raised voice, several heads turn in your direction. You glare at them and they go back to their conversations.

“Laura,” you whisper, leaning closer to her, “What’s wrong? What happened?” you ask, worry filling your voice.

She looks up at you and you can see her eyes are red. You’ve never seen her look this bad.

“Fuck’s sake,” Laura laughs as she shakes her head, “You didn’t come to look for me or anything.” she throws her fork down on the plate. 

You cringe at the loud noise and look at her with concern. 

“What are you talking about?” you try to meet her eyes as she starts to shuffle around. “What happened?”

“Forget it.” Laura swiftly gets up and storms out of the hall.

You quickly get up to follow her. Once you’re out of the hall, she turns to you.

“You didn’t bother to care enough lastnight, so leave me the fuck alone now!” she yells.

You take a step back.

“I’m sorry.” you say softly, “But I don’t know what you’re talking a-”

“Wow. What a great friend, you are, really!” Laura shouts, “Not noticing I’m gone! All night! I’m usually in bed by 9 and you didn’t care enough to make sure I was okay when I didn’t show up at all?”

You try to replay last night’s events in your head, but you don’t remember seeing her empty bed, you were too focused on trying to recover from your interaction with Snape.

“I had detention. Snape-” you start to explain, “He made me clean all the cauldrons and the floors.” you look down at your shoes, your face burning as you remember the true events that had partaken last night.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice you were gone, I was fucking exhausted.” you take a couple of steps towards Laura. 

Her eyes soften for a brief second, she looks like she wants to forgive you.

“Don’t.” Laura shakes her head. “Just-” she sighs, “Just leave me alone.” She turns to head down another random corridor.

“Laura!” you shout, on her heels.

She stops suddenly and spins herself around. 

“I’m fucking serious! I don’t want to see your face! Just go!” Laura yells.

You stop, watching her storm away.

_What the fuck happened to her?_

So many things have taken place in the past few days and it feels like you haven’t processed even half of it. You stay in the random corridor of the castle for a while, slouching down on the wall. It feels nice to just sit. You close your eyes. It seems your life is falling apart but this one moment of peace feels good.

The chatter of people from the great hall starts to get increasingly louder as they approach your corridor.

_Shit, the quidditch match._

You pick yourself up off the floor and head to the staircase leading to your dormitory. It’s in the path of where the crowd is heading. You pick up your pace, wanting to beat the group of students and teachers heading to the quidditch field.

As you turn the corner, thinking you just barely missed having to cross paths with them, you run face first into a body wearing all black.

You quickly back up, startled.

“Get a bit turned around?” Snape raises his eyebrows at you. “One would think a seventh year such as yourself would know the layout of the castle well enough to not get lost.”

You avoid eye contact and try to dart around him. Snape grabs your arm and pulls you aside, out of view from the approaching crowd.

“Do you remember what I said?” he says in a low voice, squeezing your arm tighter.

You gulp, not knowing for sure what he’s talking about. But you have a suspicion.

_I will touch you when you’re a good girl._ His words from last night flood your mind.

Snape smirks lightly. “Precisely…”

You hate when he reads your mind, but at least he saved you the embarrassment from having to say it out loud.

“You will go to the quidditch game, and you will enjoy yourself.” he demands.

You think about trying to pull yourself away from the Professor, but stop yourself. Even though the last thing you feel like doing at the moment is going to watch the Gryffindor vs. Slytherin match, your desire for him overpowers any other feelings in your body. He’s already proved he doesn’t make empty promises.

“Yes, Professor.” you whisper.

Snape briefly raises his eyebrows, looking pleased with himself. He lets go of his grip on your arm just as the group of students comes into view behind him.

His eyes stay on yours for a few seconds before he swiftly turns around, getting absorbed by the crowd of people heading to the field.

Professor Snape has power over you and he knows it. He enjoys it. 

You wonder how far you would go for him, what you would do, just for a chance for him to touch you again.


	9. Impatience

One week passed. Then two.

Snape hadn't said a single word about your encounters.

In fact, besides a few brief glances during meals in the Great Hall, you had had no further contact with him. Snape had gone back to being the Potions Professor that resented you, and nothing more.

You were growing impatient, after all, he had made a promise to you, and he didn't seem to be following through.

You did what Professor Snape said, you were good. You were a model student. You arrived on time to his class, but not too early. You paid attention, trying your best not to daydream about him. You participated, but not an excess amount. It was exhausting, trying to do everything perfectly, trying to act like someone you're not.

_Is this how Laura felt all the time? Is this why she finally snapped?_

You wanted to scream at how unfair Snape was being. Leading you on, using you, and then pretending like it had never happened.

There were a couple of occasions where you had stayed a little after Potions, acting like it was unintentional. You took extra time to pack up at the end of class, pretending that you just couldn't fit a book in your bag. But Snape didn't even glance at you.

"I don't have time for your insignificant problems." Snape would say when the rest of the students had left. "Get out."

You held yourself back from snapping at him, from cursing him out for leaving you unacknowledged for weeks. If you caved in to your anger now, all of this would have been for nothing. Being stubborn, you didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing how restless you were for him.

So you bit your tongue. You did what you were supposed to. And you hated every second of it.

Laura had completely disappeared from Hogwarts. You asked around to try and figure out what had happened to her. Professor McGonagall informed you that she was okay, and to not worry about her. No one knew if or when she would be back.

Processing emotions was hard and it felt like you would explode any day now. You tried to find peace in the mundanity, in the loneliness you faced every day. It was exhausting to keep up with a fake exterior around Snape, and even harder to keep yourself from lashing out at him.

With Laura gone, you didn't have many other friends to hang out with. Well, you did have friends, but they all seemed to have other friend groups they were part of, and you didn't particularly fit in any of them.

You were completely alone. Cedric tried to spend time with you, but you ended up pushing him away too.

He's not the one who's attention you so desperately wanted.

***

You're sitting at the y/h table in the Great Hall, starting at your plate. In that very unexceptional moment you realize how miserable you are. You feel yourself spiraling into pity for yourself, but you catch yourself.

_What the fuck am I doing?_

Life had been great, and somehow it had all gone to shit in the span of less than a month.

You convince yourself to put Laura from your mind. You were told she was okay and you knew that had to be enough for you. You cared about her, but you had to stop blaming yourself for what had happened. You can't do anything to try and fix your friendship at the moment anyway.

Snape, however, is another story. You can't seem to rid your mind of him. Anytime you think of him, anger seethes through your body. You know he is the cause of your endless confusion, the reason you feel so on edge all the time. He completely consumes your mind, making you fall into endless holes of overthinking.

_Enough of this shit._

You throw your fork down on your plate, splattering sauce everywhere, and carelessly rush out of the Great Hall.

You storm through the corridors of the castle, trying to clear your head. You sift through your thoughts one by one, discarding them as they come to the surface.

You try to empty your mind of Snape. You're fed up with letting him ruin your life in more ways than one, but he won't leave your mind.

"Argh!" you shout in frustration, squeezing your eyes shut.

No matter how much you try to wipe your mind of him, no matter how much you want to, you can't. He's completely taken over your thoughts.

You open your eyes and look around to realize you've somehow found your way into the dungeons.

Of course. How ironic.

You slouch down on the floor, holding your head in your hands. The cold stone feels nice. It's soothing in a strange way. You stay there for a while, knowing no one cares enough to search for you.

_Shit, Laura, if this is how I made you feel, I'm so fucking sorry._

You hear footsteps approaching and you start to pick yourself up off the floor, assuming dinner finished and students are heading to their dormitories.

But when you lift your head up, you see him.

Professor Snape.

He stops, standing a few feet away from you.

Anger fills your body again.

"y/ln. Why aren't you at dinner?" Snape asks sternly, as if you're any other student.

You roll your eyes. You give up the act you had been faking the past couple weeks. You're done trying to be good enough for him.

"Piss off." you scoff at him.

"y/ln!" he shouts sternly, "You have no right to speak to me like that, you insolent brat!"

You rush towards the stairs out of the dungeons.

"Get the fuck away from me." you shake your head, storming down the dark corridor.

You feel a pair of hands grab your arms from behind and pin you against the dungeon wall.

"Don't use that tone with me." Snape growls.

It takes a second for you to recover from hitting the wall so hard, but when you do, you're even angrier.

"No! You know what?" you yell, "After all the shit you put me through, I think I can-"

Snape cuts you off by putting a hand over your mouth.

"Be. Quiet." he steadies his voice, staring into your eyes.

You start to fight back but the scent of him suddenly enthralls you and your head spins. You feel yourself falling deeply for him all over again. Anger still runs through your veins, but it's starting to mix with something else.

Snape seems to notice the slight shift that takes place in you.

"Will you behave?" Snape asks, raising an eyebrow.

You nod against his hand.

"Good." he says, dropping his arm.

Snape grabs your hand and abruptly takes off down the corridor, pulling you behind him. You try not to trip over your feet as you struggle to keep up with his long strides.

Neither of you speaks as he leads you through the dungeons, but the warmth of his hand sends a wave of comfort through you.

After a couple of minutes, you arrive at the door of the potions classroom and Snape lets go of your hand to pull a key out of his pocket. You stand with your arms crossed, watching him impatiently. He turns the key in the lock and swiftly pushes the door open, gesturing you to enter.

You give him a curious glance before taking a step inside. The smell of potion ingredients and old books fills your lungs.

Snape follows you, closing and locking the door behind him.

"It's fucked up, you know?" you whisper, turned away from him, "What you're doing to me."

"Look at me," Snape says calmly.

You take a deep breath and turn on your heels.

"Is this what you want?" you scoff.

You take a step towards him, uncrossing your arms.

"Just to control me?" you tilt your head, "Professor Snape?" you say in a mocking tone.

Snape silently stares at you, almost amused. You fascinate him and he can't figure out why. He knows how much you've been struggling for the past few days, but there's a part of him that likes pushing you to the edge to see your reactions.

"Do you just want to use me, lead me on, and then act as if nothing happened?" you say steadily. Although your voice is quiet, it's filled with rage.

Snape remains silent, analyzing each of your movements.

"I'm sick of it." you say, inches from him now.

Weeks ago you wouldn't dream of standing up to Snape like you are now, but something has flipped inside you.

"Is that so?" Snape drawls.

Hearing his voice makes your face warm and stomach twist with desire.

"Yes." you say confidently, "I'm done with this. Done with your manipulative game."

"Hm." Snape takes a step towards you.

The feeling in your body intensifies and your head sways with dizziness.

"I didn't take you as the type to give up so easily." he narrows his eyes at you.

You have the urge to run but you feel like your feet are glued in place.

"I'm not giving up." you say, irritated.

"Aren't you?" he smirks.

Snape brings up his hand to tuck your hair behind your ear, sending goosebumps down your body. He stays silent for a moment.

"It was a test," he says quietly.

You look at him, anger and confusion swimming on your face. You can't get yourself to pull away from his hand.

"To see how badly you wanted this." Snape says as he moves his gaze around your face.

"How is that fair?" you ask, slightly breathless.

"I was simply observing you." he says, his dark brown eyes piercing through you.

"I'm a fucking person! You don't just get to manipulate my emotions whenever you feel like it!" you shout.

"I know." Snape whispers softly, "I just had to be sure."

You glance at the door as you feel your walls start to crumble, wanting to give into him.

"I know you want this." Snape whispers deeply.

Your eyes flutter, and you struggle to meet his intense stare. His dark eyes dart back and forth between yours, his eyebrows slightly furrowed. You feel the deep ache in your stomach spreading through your body, overwhelmed with desire for him. Snape glances at your lips and your heart beats faster.

You don't want to admit it to yourself, after all he's put you through, but you do want this, want him.

Snape leans in and his lips meet yours. His hands wrap around your waist, pulling you closer to him, and you melt into his embrace. Your hands shake as you reach to wrap them around his neck, one of them running through his hair.

After two weeks of barely speaking to him, his lips feel like a breath of fresh air, it feels like you've been brought back to life. This kiss feels different than any other one. He moves his lips against yours slowly, intentionally, in a way that makes you feel incredibly vulnerable. You fall into a deeper haze with each passing second, thinking of nothing except his lips on yours.

One of Snape's hands comes up to caress your face and he slowly pulls away. He holds your face, rubbing his thumb on your cheek. A few seconds pass before he speaks.

"The offer still stands." he whispers, "The past few days have more than proven you're capable of controlling yourself."

You nod against his hand, unable to meet his eyes. Even with all your clothes on, you feel more exposed to him than ever.

Snape guides his hand to your chin to tilt your head up, forcing you to look at him.

"My office. Tomorrow night." he states.

You nod again, unsure of your capability to form a coherent sentence.

Snape gently opens the door and steps to the side.

You step through the door and he follows you out. Footsteps can be heard coming from upstairs, dinner is over.

Snape gives you one last glance before gliding down a dark corridor.


	10. Earned It

For the rest of the night and into the morning, time passes by at an agonizingly slow rate. You’re even sure that you see the clock move backwards a few times.

Potions is almost unbearable.

Professor Snape doesn’t look at you during the entire class. It irritates you slightly, but at the same time you’re relieved. You think you would crumble if his piercing stare landed on you.

You watch him saunter around the class, his cloak flowing behind him, his hands twisting together. You don’t hear a word he says, lost in the sea of his voice.

Little do you know, Snape is trying just as hard to keep himself together. But after years of pushing down emotions, he manages to hide it better than you. It takes a lot for him not to look at you, but he holds himself back. He knows if he glanced in your direction, his mind would flood with thoughts of what he’s going to do to you that night.

However, as the end of class approaches, Snape can’t help himself and he steals a glance of you as you pack up and head to the door. His body floods instantly with emotions he spends the next hour trying to push away.

You relax a little bit in the rest of your classes, not having to be in the vicinity of Professor Snape, not having to worry about him reading your thoughts.

It was exhausting to control your thoughts in Potions and it’s a relief when, in Transfiguration, you can finally let your mind wander. Images of Snape’s fingers, gliding over your skin, and his mouth, kissing your neck, engulf you. You don’t have enough strength to pull your thoughts elsewhere.

Professor McGonagall sees you staring out the window, completely zoned out, but she doesn’t reprimand you.

Most of the teachers had started to go easier on you since Laura’s disappearance, they saw how miserable you had been. One time Professor McGonagall even held you after class to ask if you wanted to talk about how you felt, and that she would always be there if you needed any support.

You politely declined her offer.

No one knew even half of the story.

***

After classes finish, you head to your room to rest before dinner.

You fall down on your bed, exhaling loudly. The softness of the sheets is enticing, and you have to peel yourself away from the comfort that they promise.

Loud chatter comes from the common room where everyone’s gathered socializing. You’re grateful to have this time to be completely alone.

You glance at Laura’s bed. It’s perfectly made, just like it has been for weeks. If only you had seen it empty weeks ago, maybe you could’ve prevented all of this, whatever “this” was. You can’t stare at it too long before you get filled with dread. It’s eerie to see her things while not knowing where she is.

You’ve contemplated trying to get into her trunk, to see if there’s anything in there that could help you figure out what happened. You take a step towards it and kneel down, running your fingers over the wooden surface.

Just then, there’s a quick knock on the door before it flies open.

You shoot up, stepping away from Laura’s bed.

One of your roommates opens the door and doesn’t seem to notice how tense you are.

“y/n! Come look at this!” she says before rushing back down to the common room.

You briefly glance at the trunk by Laura’s bed and sigh before stepping out of your room and trudging down the stairs.

When you get down to the common room, you see a 5th year named Benny sitting at a table in the middle of the room, surrounded by a crowd of people.

You walk closer, intrigued.

You try to suppress a laugh when you finally see what everyone is so amazed by. He's holding a deck of cards and performing “magic” tricks without using any magic.

“Isn’t this amazing?” your roommate shouts.

“Yeah, definitely.” you say sarcastically. She doesn't pick up on your tone, too focused on trying to figure out how Benny made a card disappear in thin air.

_Must not have grown up around muggles._

You step away from the group of people and head out of the common room. Dinner is in a few minutes and you have nothing better to do besides wander the castle.

You take a long route to the Great Hall, observing the people in the corridors.

You miss Laura’s company, but there’s definitely something poetic about being alone all the time, about being able to fully observe minuscule moments without being caught up in conversation.

You near the Great Hall and your breath gets caught in your throat when you see Snape gliding inside.

You stop in your tracks and watch him across the corridor. No matter where he’s going, he always has a powerful walk, as if he’s always rushing to get somewhere important. You smile with amusement to yourself.

Snape suddenly stops, sensing something off. He looks around, puzzled. His brows furrow as he turns around. Then he sees you.

His expression drops, something inside him coming undone for the smallest of moments. His heart falters for a beat.

You caught him off guard.

Professor Snape quickly brings his face back into a frown, looking to either side of him. The Hall and the corridor are mostly empty and no one notices his odd behavior.

Snape looks back at you and his dark brown eyes stay on your face for a few seconds. Although his expression is grim, you see longing behind his eyes.

Your insides light up and your heart starts to race.

When he sees someone walking down the corridor over your shoulder, he quickly spins around and strolls to his seat at the top of the Hall.

You take a deep breath, bringing yourself back to reality, and start walking again. You’re the first one to arrive at the y/h table but the Great Hall quickly begins to fill with people.

You eat slowly, your stomach starting to bubble with nerves. In less than a couple of hours you’ll be in Professor Snape’s classroom again, doing god knows what. You’ve noticed that his attitude towards you had shifted in the past few days, and you could see a part of him opening up that you didn’t know existed. It made you anxious at how real this was all becoming.

You glance up from your food to the staff table and you see Dumbledore out of his seat, walking around to the other Professors, occasionally leaning down and whispering something. Maybe it’s the bleak expressions on the faces of the Professor’s he’s talked to, or the Headmaster’s rigid demeanor, but there’s something peculiar that you can’t quite put your finger on.

Your eyes continue to dart around the table and you instantly forget about any oddities when your eyes meet his.

Snape’s intense stare is on you. It has been for a while, he can’t pull his eyes off you.

Heat rises through your body, your face burning. You look back down at your plate, flustered.

You don’t look back up at Snape for the rest of dinner, but you can feel him watching you.

***

Most students head back to their dormitories once dinner is over, but you walk down to the dungeons to Professor Snape’s classroom.

You’re conscious of every step you take and you can feel your heart in your throat as you near the door to the Potions’s classroom.

You stop in front of the closed door, smoothing out your clothes and adjusting your hair so it falls around your face. You take a deep breath and knock as you exhale, the noise echoes through the corridor.

After the third knock, the door opens swiftly and you walk inside.

The classroom is empty, but you see that the door to Professor Snape’s office is ajar.

You walk to his office in a slow, controlled manner. The door of the classroom slams shut behind you, making you jump slightly. Your nerves are at an all time high and you can just about hear your heartbeat in your ears. It feels like every step you take gets increasingly more difficult, as if your shoes are glued to the floor.

You knock on the door of his office and it falls open under your hand.

Professor Snape is sitting at his desk, although he doesn’t seem to be working on anything. He stands up from his seat when he sees you and his eyes run down your body, undressing you with his eyes.

You try to control your breathing, try to pull yourself together.

Snape walks past you to the door and pushes it closed. He turns around to look at you and instantly reads the anxiety on your face.

He takes a careful step towards you and brings his hand to your face, resting his thumb on your chin.

“Change your mind?” he asks softly, tilting his head.

_Hell no._

“No, Professor.” you say, leaning into his touch, “Of course I haven’t.”

Snape’s eyes fall to your mouth and his thumb strokes your bottom lip. Your eyes flutter lightly.

He narrows his eyes. “Good.”

Snape takes a step closer to you, his warmth radiates in the gap between your bodies.

He leans down and his lips fall on yours. The ache in your stomach deepens.

Snape’s movements start off gentle, his lips moving softly against yours. One of his hands tilts your head as the other slides to your lower back to pull your body flush to his.

You sigh against his mouth and he takes that as a sign to deepen the kiss. The kiss becomes harder, quicker, as his desire for you grows.

You wrap your arms around his torso, lightly running your nails down his back.

He pushes you towards his desk and you feel the wood hit your legs. He lifts you up by your thighs to sit you on top of it.

Snape forcefully pushes your knees apart and steps between them to close the gap between your bodies. His lips move to under your jaw and then to your neck. Your hands run through his hair as you tilt your head back to expose more of your skin to him, moaning as he lightly nibbles your neck.

The sounds you make only make his desire grow, and he growls as he brings his face level to yours. He pulls your shirt open, buttons flying everywhere, and tugs your shirt off your body.

Snape’s lips attack your skin and he roams your neck and chest, occasionally stopping on a specific spot when he notices you react in pleasure. His hair falls on your skin, slightly tickling it.

Snape brings his lips to meet yours again and your hands wrap around his neck, pulling him even closer to you. His hands find their way to your thighs, slightly squeezing them, and you wrap your legs around him. In one swift motion, he picks you up off his desk and starts to make his way towards the door leading to his private quarters.

He adjusts you in his arms as he reaches for the handle and pushes you both into the room. Once you’re both through the doorway, he kicks the door closed with his foot and makes his way to his bed.

Snape walks forward until his legs hit the mattress, and then he leans you down on the bed, looming over you. Your lips never leave his as he brings his legs up on the bed, in between yours, and adjusts his body over you.

Your arms wrap around his back, and pull him to close the gap between you.

His hands graze your skin and you get goosebumps from his touch. You lift your back to help him take off your bra. He removes it quickly and his hand comes to cup your breast, kneading it tenderly.

His kisses get rougher, sloppier, and he’s reaching for your skirt. Snape breaks the kiss to fully tug it down your legs. He takes in every inch of your body, noticing every curve, and he feels his pants grow constricted. You’re more beautiful than he could’ve ever imagined.

You look up at him, his lips are parted, his hair a mess, and his stare lands on you. You see lust in his eyes as he runs one of his hands up and down your thigh, inching closer to your underwear.

Snape leans over you again, his lips meeting yours. His hand runs over the fabric on your underwear and you buck your hips into his touch impatiently.

“Eager, are we?” he chuckles lightly.

His fingers rub you over your underwear, eliciting a small moan from your lips. He slides his fingers to your hips, slowly pulling down your panties, exposing you to him completely.

You wonder for a second how all of his clothes are still on and you’re lying there completely naked.

His eyes hungrily watch your face as he tosses your panties to the side and brings his hand between your legs. Snape teases you for a moment, sliding his hand just over your pussy. His touch is electric, his fingers send shocks through your body.

“My, my, so wet and we haven’t even begun.” Snape drawls.

His voice makes you ache for him more.

He runs his fingers up and down lightly, putting barely any pressure on your skin. You can’t take it anymore.

“Please.” you whine, arching your back.

“Please what?” a smirk forming on his lips.

“Touch me.” you gasp as his face looms over yours.

“How, exactly, do you want me to touch you?” he whispers with a raised eyebrow, running a hand over your body.

You breathe in deeply as his skin runs over yours.

“Like this?” Snape slips two fingers into you without warning and your breath hitches.

“Yes,” you moan, “Like that.”

He starts to pump his fingers in and out of you, his thumb rubbing your clit. He kisses your lips for a moment before his mouth trails down your body, softly licking your neck and your collarbone.

“I wanted to touch you, that night.” Snape whispers, “But it’s so much better now that you had to wait for it, now that you’ve earned it.”

He slips in a third finger and you squirm under his touch, your back arching and your legs twisting.

“Oh, Professor.” you sigh.

“Call me Severus.” he demands, his face nuzzled into the crook of your neck.

He sucks on a sensitive spot on your neck, not caring if it’ll leave a mark the next day. You’re all his and he wants you to be reminded of that, even when you’re not with him.

“Severus…” you whisper, testing his name on your tongue.

Hearing you say his name elicits a reaction in Snape and he roughly moves a hand to your throat as he brings his mouth to yours, kissing you hard. He pumps his fingers even faster.

You need more. You need him.

_Just fuck me._

Snape smirks. “What’s that?”

Your face goes red.

“I want to hear you say it.” he demands, stopping his hand’s movements.

You bite your lip and push down your nerves.

“Fuck me, Severus.” you say breathlessly, your hands reaching down to undo his pants.

Snape pins your wrists above your head with one hand while undoing and pulling down his pants with the other. He aligns himself at your entrance and watches your face as he thrusts in deeply.

You gasp loudly, his size stretching the sides of your pussy.

He moves slow at first, letting you adjust to him.

Soon, the pain grows into pleasure and you find a rhythm, rocking your hips with each of his thrusts. You can’t control the loud cries that escape your mouth as your body becomes overwhelmed with sensations.

Snape picks up his pace, breathing heavily, and pushes one of your legs over his shoulder.

You moan louder as he goes even deeper.

He continues thrusting, groaning quietly as he goes faster and faster. You see small droplets of sweat beading on his forehead.

“Severus!” you gasp.

Your walls squeeze around him and he can tell you’re close.

“Not until I say.” he says hoarsely.

You squeeze your eyes shut, wave after wave of pleasure flooding through you. You don’t know how much longer you can hold yourself back. You stay on the edge, utterly consumed by the feelings in your body.

“Now.” Snape orders.

His voice pushes you over the edge and you cry out in ecstasy, gripping the bed sheets. Snape finishes at the same time as you, grunting as he stares at your contorted face, entirely consumed by your orgasm. You meet his gaze and your body continues to tremble.

Snape stays on top of you for a few moments, catching his breath. Then he collapses next to you and you both lay recovering from your intense orgasms.

“Fucking hell,” you say, still breathless.

Snape chuckles softly and turns towards you, wrapping a hand around your waist.

He pulls you into his arms, your face resting in his neck. You are consumed by his warmth and his smell and your eyes flicker closed.

“You are…” he whispers slowly as he brushes your hair off your face, “Profoundly mesmerizing.”

You smile into his neck, warmth spreading through your body at his words.

Severus gently strokes your hair as you fall asleep.


	11. Confusion

“y/n.” you hear a distant voice whisper.

You stir, feeling soft sheets engulfing you in warmth. Something touches your face.

“y/n…” you hear the deep voice whisper again.

Your eyes flutter open and you see Snape, standing next to the bed, leaning over you and stroking your cheek.

You smile up at him, comforted at the thought of having slept in his bed.

He removes his hand from your face and takes a step back.

“It’s almost curfew,” he says.

You nod, sitting up in the bed. You realize you’re still naked and proceed to search for your clothes. Snape looks away from you and walks out of the room.

As you look around, you notice Professor Snape’s quarters for the first time. When you first entered this room, you had your focus elsewhere and didn’t get a chance to take in his furnishings and decorations. However, you’re quickly enthralled by the coziness of it.

There’s a fireplace across the bed and a couch on the left side of the room. Towards the right, there’s a desk, sitting in front of a window of the lake. Shelves of books line the dark green walls. Although the room is sparsely decorated, there’s a comforting feel about it.

Snape comes back into the room, your shirt in his hand. The buttons have been replaced on it and you assume he must’ve fixed it with magic. He walks to the side of the bed and hands it to you.

“I’ll…” he clears his throat, “Let you get dressed.”

Snape quickly glides out of the room and slams the door shut behind him. His behavior is odd, considering the events that took place not even an hour ago, but you let it go.

You find your skirt tangled in his blankets and pull on all your clothes. When you step out of his quarters into his office, you see him standing by a shelf, gazing at a book.

You awkwardly make your way to the door leading to the classroom and Snape only looks over at you when you’re halfway out.

“Goodnight, y/n.” he says steadily.

“Goodnight, Severus.” you whisper.

Hearing you say his name startles him, but he shows no outward reaction to you. After you walk out and shut the door to his office, he sighs to himself. There’s a part of him that regrets being so intimate with you.

You collect yourself and smoothly walk out of the Potions classroom, telling yourself a fake story in your head about what happened, just in case anyone stops to question you.

You try to walk softly through the dark dungeon corridor, not wanting to draw attention to yourself from the noise of your footsteps. You pull your robe tighter around your body, occasionally glancing behind you.

Just as you're about to turn a corner, you hear the sounds of a muffled conversation leak from around it.

“She would’ve come up by now, what teacher would hold her this late?” one voice hurriedly whispers.

“I saw her come down here!” another voice shoots back. You recognize it as the voice of the person Laura was swooning over before her disappearance.

Just as you peak your head around the wall, a voice booms from another corridor and the voices fall silent.

“What are you doing? Get back to your dormitories!”

You jump, startled. It takes you a second to realize the voice is not directed at you, but at the group of people talking amongst themselves. You peak around the wall and see them scatter unwillingly, Filch peering at them with a look of distaste in his eyes.

When Filch finally hobbles away, you cautiously resume walking through the corridors. An awful feeling settles in your gut as you walk to your dormitory. You can’t help but wonder if the voices were talking about you.

You shake your head, pushing the thought away, and settle into bed.

***

Potions class had gone back to normal. Well, as normal as it could be.

Snape still tried to avoid your gaze throughout most of the period, but you didn’t blame him. You knew how hard it was for you to focus with him in the same room as you, and you weren’t the one who had to teach.

The hour was spent brewing Volubilis Potion and only two people in the class had gotten the brew just right to score full marks.

One of the people was a girl in Ravenclaw. Given that she was a seventh year, in the Potions club, and one of the smartest people in the school, it wasn’t surprising.

The other person was you.

“I expect the complete reports on my desk at the start of class tomorrow.” Professor Snape bellows from the top of the classroom.

A few people let out annoyed groans.

“And y/ln, I’d like to have a word with you after class.” Snape says, lowering his voice to address you.

You look up at him and nod.

After cleaning up your workstation and packing up your things, you stand by your desk with your arms crossed. It’s not long before the bell rings and the class leaves.

You turn towards Snape to find he’s already standing. He waves the door shut and walks around to the front of his desk, leaning against it.

“y/ln…” he raises an eyebrow, “Your work in class today was very… abnormal.”

You take a step towards him.

“I think you mean exceptional.” you smirk.

Snape gives a slight roll of his eyes.

“Have you considered joining the Potions club?” he asks, pushing himself off his desk.

“No…” you reply, “But now that you mention it.”

Spending your free time doing potions-related things didn’t sound like the most appealing thing in the world, but getting to spend more time around Snape intrigued you.

“Don’t get any crude ideas.” he sneers, “I am simply suggesting a way for you to pursue the subject on a deeper level.”

“Of course, Professor.” you nod. You can see annoyance building up in his face.

“This has nothing to do with our…matters.” he says, irritation filling his voice, “I am addressing you as my student, who, for some inexplicable reason, is appearing to do well in my class.”

“I understand. I didn’t assume-”

Snape shoots up a hand, “The meetings are held weekly on Thursdays before dinner. Inform me of your decision by next week.”

“Okay. I’ll think about it.” you nod again.

You wait a second to see if he has anything else to say, but Snape just turns dramatically towards his desk. You start to make your way to the door.

_Why the fuck is he acting so weird?_

“y/ln.” Snape says when you’re halfway to the door.

You glance over your shoulder at him.

“I need to discuss some things with you. Come to my office at seven tonight.” he says apathetically.

“Yes, Professor.”

You rush out of the class before he can make any further remarks.

_How does every interaction with him manage to leave me more confused?_


	12. Toxic

Professor Snape is even angrier than usual in the remainder of his classes that day. As you walk through the corridors of the castle, you hear people muttering about how he made one of his third years drink a Dizziness Draught after they left it to boil for too long. Even though the potion was made incorrectly, the incidental effects were no less terrible. The student had been throwing up in the hospital wing for hours.

You sigh, feeling slightly guilty. You have a feeling you're part of the reason he's so irritated, but you can't figure out what exactly it is that you did to provoke him in that way. You shake your head, refusing to make yourself feel like this is your fault.

You promise to yourself that you'll get to the bottom of his mixed signals and angry outbursts at the meeting with him that night. You know he shouldn't be allowed to treat you like he does, but his unsteadiness seems to only draw you in further.

Cedric sneaks up behind you, grabbing your shoulders. You jump as you're pulled out of your thoughts and back to reality.

"Hey! How have you been?" he says excitedly, walking next to you.

"You scared me." you say, ignoring his question.

It had been a while since Cedric had pestered you. You thought he had finally gotten the hint. Although his constant attention could get annoying, it was refreshing to feel like someone truly wanted to spend time with you.

"Do you wanna have lunch today?" he asks.

You contemplate his offer for a few seconds, but finally decide to play along with it. It's your last year at Hogwarts after all, you might as well try to have some fun.

"You know what... sure, why not." you smile at him.

Cedric beams back at you.

You find an open spot at the y/h table and Cedric sits down with you. A couple of the girls around the table giggle and turn his way. You roll your eyes. Being a popular quidditch player, he could get pretty much any girl in the school. You seemed to be the only one he couldn't swoon.

Throughout lunch, you talk with Cedric about annoying teachers, books you're reading, and the upcoming holidays. You even flirt with him and laugh at his jokes. It's fun to be careless and act your age, distracted from everything else going on in your life. Sure, it might be a little cruel to play with his emotions like that, but he would get over it eventually.

As you laugh extra loud at something he says, you move your gaze around the hall and lock eyes with Snape. Your stomach jumps, your smile slightly faltering.

_This seems to be a game to him, why shouldn't it be a game to me?_

You slowly lean into Cedric, smirking at Snape. Cedric laughs as he glances down at you. Although he's a little astonished at your sudden closeness, he doesn't hesitate to wrap an arm around you.

For a brief moment you see Snape's eyes narrow, but he quickly looks away and resumes his conversation with Professor McGonagall.

Maybe all the attention is getting to your head, but it feels nice to be wanted.

Snape doesn't look your way again, but his blood boils and his hands tremble with fury. He convinces himself he's not jealous, and reminds himself of what he's going to tell you that night.

He despises what you do to him.

***

It seemed like you spent more time in the Dungeons than in your own common room nowadays, but thanks to your lack of close friends and constant pity from your Professors, no one really questioned it.

Although it wasn't unusual to speak to your teachers outside of class, it was somewhat odd that you would visit Professor Snape's classroom so often. As you approach his door, you glance down both sides of the dark dungeon corridor. The coast is clear so you reach your hand up and knock.

It swings open and you step into the room. Professor Snape is sitting at his desk, waiting for your arrival. You close the door behind you, and begin making your way over to him.

"Hello, Professor." you say as you near his desk.

"Good evening, Miss y/ln." Snape says, still seated.

An idea pops into your head. It's not the smartest idea, and it could fail miserably. But at this point, what do you have to lose?

_Fuck it._

You approach Snape's chair, and he watches you cautiously, trying to predict your next move. He's taken aback when you sit yourself on top of him, straddling his legs. You wrap your arms around his neck and lean your face closer to his.

"What did you want to discuss?" you whisper.

Snape silently stares at you. He looks like he wants to say something, like he wants to reprimand you for sitting on him without his permission.

Thoughts of what he planned to say to you swim through Snape's mind, but your actions seem to make them dissipate. Your body is there, in front of him, and your face looks so alluring. A part of him wants to push you away, kick you out, he knows that's probably the right thing to do. But his gaze drops to your mouth, and all he wants in this moment is to taste your lips. He grabs the back of your head, pulling your hair, and slams his lips to yours.

Professor Snape is furious with you for how well you did in Potions, for thinking about him during class, for flirting with Cedric, and for having the effect on him that you do. His rough kiss reflects his intense emotions, his lips pressed hard against yours.

You're angry at him too, for confusing you out of your mind and for his uncalled outbursts, and you kiss him back with the same intensity.

You grab his collar and he pulls you closer to him. You sigh into his mouth as you feel his body against yours. You bite his lip and he growls at you, using your hair to tilt your head to deepen the kiss. One of his hands goes down to your hip and finds its way to your lower back. You feel him growing hard under you and you grind your hips into his.

Suddenly, Snape pushes you off of him and you stumble as you try to regain your balance.

"What the hell, Severus?" you shout.

"This is completely inappropriate." he stands up abruptly, "It has gone too far."

He hurriedly looks around the classroom, as if searching for something. His hands come up to fix his collar and he avoids looking at you.

"What are you talking about?" you scoff, "After last night, how is this too far."

Snape glares at you.

"I asked to see you tonight to inform you that we cannot pursue this further, y/ln."

You frown, confused.

"But-" you say, grasping for words, "Then why did you just kiss me, you've been playing with my emotions for weeks and after last night and what you said how can you-" 

"Silence!" Snape slams his fist on his desk.

The loud noise startles you and your body jumps. You take a step back, slightly fearful of the look of pure rage on his face.

"I was foolish to say any of those things." he sneers, "You are just another entitled brat, careless of other people, who believes that they're capable of getting away with everything."

_Ouch._

Snape's words are harsh, they cut into you. But at the same time, they're almost expected. You can tell there's more to this than he puts on, it's obvious he's not revealing everything he's feeling.

"Why do you keep pushing me away?" you exclaim.

"You got yourself into this mess. I am attempting to pull you out of it." he spits.

No matter how much Snape wanted you, he knew this was for the best. He couldn't allow this little entanglement to interfere with his professional life. He couldn't allow you to get close to him.

"How did I-" you start.

"Get out." Snape demands. His voice is low, but you can see the seriousness behind his eyes, threatening you not to argue with him.

You press your lips together, wanting to spit something back at him, but you can't find the right words. You turn on your heels and walk towards the door.

"Oh," you stop suddenly, "By the way, I've decided to join the Potions club."

Anger flashes through Snape's eyes, knowing he can't do anything to stop you.

"See you Thursday night." you say sarcastically, slamming the door shut behind you.


	13. Potions Club

You spend the next few days ignoring Snape completely. You don’t even glance at him during class, focusing all your attention on the task at hand. It’s favorable for your grade, that week you end up brewing all the potions perfectly and earning perfect marks.

You hate the part of yourself that still aches for him, even after everything he said. You know you deserve to be treated better and that you shouldn’t swoon over someone who keeps pushing you away. So you push that part of yourself down, ignoring any feeling or thought about Snape that tries to crawl its way into your brain.

You even pick up reading as a way to focus your mind on something else. You spend hours in the common room, being one of the last people in there every night.

As a kid, you would spend hours absorbed in books; but, the obsession had faded away as you grew up and started to become more involved in the world around you.

You were grateful to return to it. It was comforting to spend so much time in different realities.

***

Thursday night arrives and you find yourself back in the dungeons after dinner. You take a deep breath before strolling through the open door of the Potions classroom.

It’s your first time attending Potions Club and you have no idea what to expect. You see a couple groups of people huddled together at tables around the room, it looks like cliques had already formed in the few meetings they had had this year.

You bite the inside of your cheek as you start making your way to a table away from everyone.

“y/n!” a high pitched voice shouts.

You turn your head and see the voice belongs to a Hufflepuff. You recognize the girl named Aubrey from your Herbology class, you remember being partners with her when the class was growing Mandrakes.

“I didn’t know you were in this club!” Aubrey beams at you. Two boys wearing Gryffindor robes are sitting on either side of her.

“I wasn’t until now,” you laugh as you make your way over to her, “Snape suggested I join a couple of days ago.”

“Oh! That would explain why I haven’t seen you before.” she says, “Do you wanna join our group?”

“Yes, thank you.” you sigh with relief, grateful you won’t be awkwardly sitting alone in a corner for the next couple of hours.

You walk over to their table and plop down on the open seat across from Aubrey. The other members of the group introduce themselves to you as Lukas and Cyrus. You briefly glance around the room for Snape, but he’s nowhere to be found and you assume he’s in his office.

The thought of his office fills your mind with memories of how Snape had pressed himself against you while you sat on his desk. You quickly snap out of it, bringing your attention back to the group.

“Let’s brew some Amortentia!” Aubrey announces excitedly.

You hold back a laugh. _Of course they’re brewing Amortentia._

Aubrey leaves to grab the necessary ingredients, and you make conversation with the two Gryffindors. It’s kind of nice to have socialization for a change. After a couple of minutes, Aubrey makes her way back to your table.

“Okay, do you guys wanna get started on it?” Aubrey sets the ingredients down and stands by the table.

“Yeah, let’s do this.” Lukas says, trying to fill his voice with enthusiasm.

You start to prepare the cauldron and measure out a pile of rose petals. 

“I’ll go grab the Antidote.” Aubrey says, running off again.

“The Antidote?” you ask curiously.

“Yeah,” Lukas starts, “The Love Potion Antidote, we already brewed it last time, we’re just brewing Amortentia to test it.”

“Oh, okay.” you reply.

“Maybe you can be the test monkey.” Cyrus nudges your arm, a smirk playing on his lips, “You can prove you’re worthy of joining our group.” he adds jokingly.

“If I knew that that’s what it takes to join this club I might have thought twice.” you laugh.

“You’ll be fine!” Cyrus says, “We’re brewing a weaker version. It would wear off in a couple hours anyway.”

You raise your eyebrows at him, and he smiles mischievously at you. You laugh, shaking your head and going back to the cauldron.

Aubrey returns and sets the vials filled with clear liquid on the table.

“Smells like it’s working!” she announces as she stands near the cauldron.

_Huh?_

You’re about to ask what she means but you stop yourself just in time. You realize you don’t smell anything because the scent that it’s emitting for you is a scent very similar to the room you’re standing in.

“Mmm... something sweet, like a mix of strawberries and sugar.” Lukas smiles to himself.

“Rain, and maybe lavender?” Cyrus glances at you out of the corner of his eye, but you don’t notice.

“I smell firewood.” Aubrey giggles.

You stay silent, your heartbeat picking up rapidly.

“Well, newbie?” Lukas asks you.

“Um-” you dart your head up, “Peppermint.” you say the first thing that pops into your head.

You weren’t going to outwardly admit that you smelled a scent of musk and parchment in addition to the smell of old books filling the classroom.

“How very enthralling... ” a deep voice says behind you.

Your breath gets caught in your throat as the figure rounds your table and you focus steadily on pouring the prepared contents of the cauldron into a bottle.

“You have the Antidote prepared from the previous meeting then, yes?” Professor Snape asks.

“Yes, Professor.” Aubrey replies, pointing to the clear vials on the table.

“Very well. You should be all set to test the potion then.” Professor Snape nods.

You stare at your hands, but the rest of your group doesn’t seem to notice your sudden quietness.

“Have you decided who will consume the potion?” Snape asks.

“y/n will,” Cyrus jerks his head at you, a smile flashing on his face.

Snape raises an eyebrow, looking down at you.

“It’s only fitting, I suppose.” the Professor drawls.

You don’t look up at him but you can feel his eyes linger on you for a few more seconds before he turns to walk away.

“Good luck,” he says as walks to another group’s table.

You bring your gaze up and watch his back, your stomach filling with a mixture of irritation and yearning.

“Bottoms up.” Lukas says, pushing the Amortentia towards you.

“Are you sure you want to take it?” Aubrey says, a hint of concern in her voice.

“Yeah, it’ll be fine.” you say, giving her a small smile.

_Famous last words._

You bring the bottle up to your lips, the smell overpowering you. You drink it quickly in one breath. The light taste of herbs and black tea lingers in your mouth.

You close your eyes as you try to control your breathing, preparing yourself for what’s about to happen.

Across the room, Professor Snape is watching you warily.

“Let us know when the effects kick in. The potion less strong, so you might barely feel it.” Aubrey says quietly.

You believe her for a second, calming down, thinking the Amortentia didn’t work; but then it hits you hard, all at once.

Snape’s dark eyes, his touch, his fingers, his warmth, you feel everything, and your mind flashes with images of his face. You clasp a hand to your mouth, trying not to gasp. It’s as if all the feelings you had been pushing down the past few days have been brought to the surface all at once.

“It worked.” you say quickly.

You press your hands into your eyes. You’re losing control of your body and you have to try your hardest not to look up at Snape, to run over to him, to exclaim your feelings outright.

Aubrey rushes to hand you the clear vial containing the Antidote for the Amortentia.

You pop off the cap and drink it all in one sip, squeezing your eyes shut.

As you come down from the intense rush of emotions, you press your head to the cool wood of the table. Your breathing slows and you feel the effects starting to wear off, but your mind remains transfixed on Snape.

“Is it working?” Lukas says after a moment.

“Yeah, I think so.” you say, slightly breathless.

You bring up your head and look around at your group members. Their gaping faces filled with concern transform into smiles. They cheer, clapping for you, and you laugh.

“Wonderful!” Aubrey says, her face beaming.

“I guess we might consider letting you stay in our group, y/n.” Cyrus says with a grin, leaning back in his seat.

“Thanks,” you laugh.

The group makes light conversation as they clean up the workstation. The other groups attending Potions Club leave the classroom one by one and you end up being the last ones left. You offer to help with cleaning up, but Aubrey ends up ushering you back into your seat, telling you that you deserve a break.

You’re thankful they let you sit, you can hardly focus on what they’re talking about or doing. Snape won’t leave your mind. However, all the other symptoms of the potion have worn off, and you dread that the cause of the endless thoughts is not at the fault of the Amortentia.

“I have better things to do than sit around waiting on you.” Snape says lazily, seated at his desk across the room.

“Sorry Professor! We’re almost done.” Lukas says.

Snape gives a small sigh, clearly irritated.

After a few moments, Lukas, Cyrus, and Aubrey start to head towards the door. You had been zoned out for the past few minutes and you’re slightly startled at their movements.

“I’ll follow you guys out… I just need to get my stuff.” you say, looking around slowly.

“Do you want us to wait for you?” Cyrus asks.

“No, that’s okay, I’m probably not gonna be able to keep up with you.” you force a laugh, trying to make it seem like you’re okay.

The group nods, saying goodbye to you before leaving the classroom.

Snape stares at you as you pack up your things and make your way to the door. You don’t look in his direction, still determined to completely ignore him. Little do you know, the more distance you give him, the more he wants to pull you back in.

As you make your way away from the Potions classroom and through the dungeons, you cross paths with less and less people, eventually reaching a corridor where you’re completely alone. There is an eerie silence filling the space and you hear ringing in your ears.

You continue walking slowly, dragging your feet on the stone floor. You’re almost out of the dungeons as you round a corner to the stairs.

It happens out of nowhere and all at once.

You feel someone grab your body from behind, a hand covers your mouth and another one covers your eyes. You try to scream, but your voice is muffled, and you’re trapped in a corridor void of any passerbys. You struggle helplessly against the arms grabbing you from all directions, trying to push you down. You feel yourself hit the floor with a thud and you thrash around, struggling against the attackers.

Your eyes and mouth are still covered as you feel someone’s body sit on top of you, pushing down on your legs and torso, keeping you in place.

“Get the bottle!” the voice on top of you whisper-shouts.

You hear shuffling around you.

You continue to squirm and thrash, and the low voice on top of you shouts angrily, “Don’t just stand there! I can’t reach my wand! Help!”

One of the people in the group hesitates before reaching in their robes for their wand. Through their nerves, they try to remember the Immobulus charm. As they raise their wand into the air, a loud voice bellows from across the hall.

“Expelliarmus!” you hear a familiar voice shout.

The student’s wand flies out of their hand and they stumble to the ground, disoriented.

“Shit!” the voice on top of you shouts.

Your eyes and mouth are uncovered as the boy on top of you jumps off and tries to run away. However, his escape is quickly halted by Professor Snape, who grabs the back of the boy’s robes while threateningly pointing his wand at the other two students.

You are finally able to see your attackers. They are the same students you heard get caught by Filch the other night.

You identify one of them as the person Laura seemed to have a bond with. They’re cowering against a wall, staring fearfully at Professor Snape.

The other two are boys from Slytherin.

You had never spoken to any of them, yet somehow, they had something against you.

You see Snape glance at you as you slowly sit up. His eyes run over you, checking to see if you’re injured. When he sees you’re okay, he turns back to the students, shouting menacing words at them.

Footsteps approach from the end of the corridor, and as you turn your head you see Dumbledore walking towards the scene.

Snape catches his eye and rushes to speak to him, dragging the boy who’s robes he’s still gripping onto behind him. He speaks quietly and steadily to Dumbledore, but his voice is filled with rage.

After he finishes explaining what happened, Dumbledore sends a questioning look down at you, as if to check that Snape’s recollection of events is accurate.

You nod, still slouched on the floor, unable to speak.

Dumbledore nods as well, looking around at the students, pausing on each of their faces. After a moment of contemplation, he speaks up again.

“Take care of Miss y/ln, Severus. Ensure she’s safe, then come to my office to discuss the punishments of Reid, Mueller, and Moss.” Dumbledore announces.

Snape gives a curt nod to the headmaster before glancing back down at you. After a moment's hesitation, he kneels down towards you and reaches out a hand. You grab it and he pulls you up, wrapping his fingers around your forearm to stabilize you.

He leads you into a different corridor before speaking up.

“I’ll take you to your dormitory.” Snape says, continuing to walk.

There is nothing that you want less in this moment than to go back to your dormitory and be left alone once again. But at this point, there’s no other option.

You nod reluctantly, chewing on your lip.

When Professor Snape glances down at you, he can sense your opposition to his suggestion. He stops and turns towards you.

You have trouble meeting his gaze. He is so close to you right now and you don’t want to fall back. You’ve put in so much work in trying to push him out of your thoughts for the past few days. You tried to convince yourself it was for the better. He doesn’t want you in the same way you want him, or at least doesn’t want to admit it, and you have to accept that. 

Snape slides a finger under your chin, softly pushing your head up.

When your eyes meet his, your heart skips a beat and everything you were trying so hard not to feel comes flooding back.

His onyx gaze shoots back and forth between your wide eyes, his brows furrow, trying to figure out exactly what it is that you want. After observing you for weeks, he knows you don’t really have anyone there for you, anyone to comfort you. His first instinct when he saw you on the ground was to grab you and carry you back to his quarters, block the rest of the world out, and make you feel safe. But he knows what that would mean, what he would have to face if he admitted that to himself.

“Where do you want to go, then?” he asks softly.

You bite your lip, feeling your body wanting to give into him. You try to resist the urge, but you succumb.

“I just want to be with you, Severus.” you whisper.

Snape takes a sharp breath in, obviously struggling with his own feelings too. His hand moves from your chin to the side of your face, and you lean into it. He strokes your cheek with his thumb, contemplating.

This is what he promised himself he would avoid. Something awful happening to you doesn’t justify his light affection. But from the look on your face and what you’ve been through that night, he can tell that it’s exactly what you need right now.

Finally, he nods.

“Alright.” he whispers softly.

Snape reasons to himself that he’s only following Dumbledore’s request, to take you somewhere safe. If you feel the most safe with him, how can he deny that to you? He’s only helping you.

Severus guides you through the dungeons back to his classroom, his hand resting lightly on your arm.

With him next to you, your mind feels clear and you feel at ease.


	14. Answers

When you step foot into Snape’s quarters, he furrows his brows, contemplating where he should take you.

You’re nervous being alone with him. There’s a part of you that feels guilty for asking to come with him when he made it very clear just a few days ago that any kind of relationship between you would not continue. You wonder if he just pities you, whether that’s the only reason he agreed to this.

With his hand on your back, he leads you to his bed, and gently helps you lay down on it. He pulls the covers over you as you smile lightly up at him.

“Thank you.” you say softly.

Snape simply nods, looking away. He doesn’t know how to comfort you, or if he even should. He starts to turn away but you grab his arm, attempting to pull him closer.

“Severus-” you start to say. You want to ask him what this means, what’s happening. You want to tell him how much you miss him, how you can’t rid your thoughts of him, no matter how hard you try.

But he simply pulls his arm away and turns from the bed without saying a word. He starts to head for the door, unable to face you. Discussing things with you would make him confront his own feelings, and he can’t deal with that, not right now.

He got you somewhere safe and, as far as he was concerned, that was enough.

Although the heavy blankets engulf you in warmth and the soft pillows cradle your head, it’s not enough. All you want is for Snape to hold you, to stroke your hair like he did a few nights ago, and tell you that it would all be okay.

Tears start to well up in your eyes at the thought that you might never experience that again as you watch him walk to the door.

Snape pauses, and slowly turns back to face you. There’s a soft expression behind his eyes. He turns towards the fireplace across the bed and reaches for his wand, igniting it in one swift motion.

The fire illuminates his face in a warm glow and spreads warmth throughout the room. When Snape looks at you again, you’re able to see the despair on his face, upset he has to see you in a state like this.

“I’ll be back, y/n.” he whispers.

He turns away from you again and disappears through the door.

The way he touched your back, lit the fire for you, used your first name; that all had to mean something, right? You feel yourself spiraling into overthinking, but sleep begins to consume your body. The heat from the fireplace loosens the ache in your chest and at some point, you drift off to sleep.

***

The creaking of a door awakens you and your eyes flutter open.

Snape walks into the room and closes the door shut behind him, having to wield extra self-control not to slam it. He looks furious.

When he glances at you, he notices how peaceful you look. It comforts him knowing that you’re safe in his bed. His rage slowly subsides from being back in your presence.

You slowly sit up, stretching your neck. The adrenaline in your body had worn off and the soreness of your body was starting to become very prevalent. 

“What happened?” you ask hesitantly.

Snape stares at you, appalled, as if you just asked him something ridiculous.

He slowly walks closer to the bed.

“A mere suspension.” he spits, “All three of them.”

Snape shakes his head, muttering to himself.

“That’s... good, right? Why are you upset?” you ask.

“Albus saw it unfit to expel them. They didn’t injure you and I showed up just before Moss was about to immobilize you.” he shouts.

You shrink back into the bed at his loud outburst. Noticing your unease, a slight look of guilt flashes on his face and he quickly lowers his voice.

“Although their intent was clear enough. The bottle Dumbledore confiscated from Mueller contained Veritaserum. I presume they planned to use it to obtain information from you, though, about what I'm not exactly sure.”

You watch him carefully, your mind trying to catch up.

“I suspect the group also had something to do with Bright’s breakdown, her memory-” Snape quickly shuts his mouth, realizing he said too much.

“You mean Laura?” you exclaim, “What happened to Laura?”

“I really shouldn’t be telling you this,” Snape slowly turns his head to look at you, “But given the circumstances,”

Snape walks over to the bed and sits at the end of it.

“When you last saw her, she had awoken in the Forbidden Forest, bruised and cut up, with no recollection of what had happened to her.” Snape explains bleakly, “She was sent home after Pomona found her at the top of the North Tower, muttering a string of words to herself...” his voice trails off.

Your mouth gapes open at him, your eyes wide.

“They didn’t catch anyone,” he continues, “She’s been slowly recovering,”

“I had no idea it was all this bad…” you shake your head.

Silence consumes the room. You know he's not telling you the entire story, but you can't get yourself to ask him more. You wonder to yourself why no one had told you anything about her disappearance. After a minute Snape speaks up again.

“I fear you were their main target, that they were simply using her as a means to get to you.”

You shoot him a confused look. “What- why me? Why would they want to get to me in the first place? I’ve never even spoken a word-”

“They know something you don't, y/n.” Snape states.

“What?” you ask, even more confused.

Snape goes silent.

"Well?" you demand.

“You need rest right now. I shouldn’t have brought it up tonight.” he sighs.

You start to argue, but Snape quiets you by putting his hand over yours. It works, you’re completely taken aback by his sudden affection. Your eyes meet his and your stomach flutters.

“Goodnight, y/n.” Snape whispers, proceeding to stand.

“Where are you going?” you ask quietly.

“The couch,” he says as though it should be obvious.

You stay silent for a moment. Snape simply observes you. He hopes you don’t try to convince him to stay close to you. But, buried deep inside him, another part hopes you do.

“Oh,” you say, not knowing what to say, “Goodnight.” you turn on your side, away from him.

It’s odd, you’re sleeping in his bed, he’s being affectionate, yet it almost seems like it’s all out of pity, and that it’ll all be over tomorrow and never to be spoken of again.

Snape walks over to the couch, laying down in his clothes.

You watch the fire flicker and your eyes begin to droop. The sheets smell like Snape and they calm your nerves. Your body falls into a deep sleep, grateful for the needed rest.

***

“Are you alright?” someone's voice echoes, their words wrapped with worry. They sound so close to you, yet so far away.

You feel a hand on your shoulder, shaking you gently.

As your eyes open and you find yourself back in reality, you see Snape kneeling beside the bed next to you.

You look around, briefly confused, until you remember where you are. You feel your back soaked in a thin layer of sweat. You sit up, breathing heavily.

“You were screaming,” Snape says softly.

“Sorry,” you say. You're unable to remember anything from the dream you just awoke from, except an overwhelming sense of feeling completely trapped.

“Don’t be sorry.” he responds, awkwardly looking around, not exactly knowing how to comfort you.

Snape seems to want to distance himself from you, but you don't want to be alone.

“Can you sit with me?” you ask quietly.

“I suppose.” he says after a moment.

As he walks around to the other side of the bed and sits on it, he repeats to himself in his head that he’s only helping you, and nothing more.

He settles himself beside you and when you lean into his chest, he hesitantly wraps his arms around you. His rigid frame loosens up as you relax into him and his finger begins to rub small circles on your arm.

You begin to calm down with him holding you. Warmth spreads through your body and your breathing slows, you feel safe. Your eyes close again.

You stay like that for a few minutes, quiet and at ease. Snape's chest slowly rises and falls under you, and you can feel the light thump of his heartbeat. You’re grateful for this moment and you momentarily forget about all your problems and worries. The only sound filling the room is the light crackling of the fire.

“What did you smell, when you were brewing the Amortentia tonight?” Snape suddenly asks, unable to help his curiosity. The way you had said peppermint to your group didn’t sound convincing.

Snape feels you tense up, startled awake from your blissful state by his voice. For a moment he wishes he didn’t say anything.

You stay silent, contemplating what you should tell him, what he would want to hear. You decide on the truth.

“You.” you sigh.

Snape adjusts you in his arms so you’re facing him. A perplexed look covers his face.

You’re unable to figure out his expression and you feel the need to explain yourself. “I know you said that this isn’t right and that we can’t do this, but I don’t understand how you can ignore-”

Snape cuts you off by pulling your face to his and kissing you.

You’re surprised but you don’t hesitate to kiss him back, you’ve missed his touch. You almost laugh to yourself when you realize that up until this very moment, you had somehow convinced yourself that everything he was doing for you tonight was out of pity.

One of his hands holds your face as the other rests on the small of your back and pulls you into him. Your shirt is slightly bunched up and you feel goosebumps rise up your back as his fingers touch the skin of your lower back. You’re half laying on top of him, your legs intertwined with his. You grab his shoulders, pulling yourself up to straddle his legs.

His hand moves to the back of your head and gets lost in your hair. He tilts your head to deepen the kiss and your hands wrap around his neck. You eagerly push your body flush against his, holding him tighter. The days of distancing yourself from him only made the pull you felt towards each other stronger, and it was a relief to be this close to him again.

His tongue traces your bottom lip as if asking permission. You gladly comply, opening your mouth and his tongue finds yours instantly. This kiss is passionate, but Snape doesn’t attempt to turn the kiss into anything more. He’s able to sense precisely what you need in this moment, and gives you just that.

After a few minutes, you pull away, resting your forehead against his.

“What does this mean?” you ask, trying to resume your conversation about the Amortentia.

“It means,” Snape says, catching his breath, “We can’t ignore this.”


	15. Exceptional

Your eyes slowly blink open and you take in your surroundings. The hint of the morning sun peaks through the window, covering the room in a dim haze. There is the slightest trace of a fire still burning, but otherwise, the space is completely still.

You feel Snape’s arm wrapped around your waist, holding you close to him. His head is nuzzled into your hair and he’s breathing softly in your ear. You smile to yourself, completely content in this moment.

Adjusting your body slightly, you crane your neck to look at the clock on the wall.

6:14

Snape stirs slightly, stretching his arms out and rolling over onto his back. His eyes open and he immediately glances at you.

“Good morning, y/n.” he says, a smile playing on his lips.

You feel your stomach weaken immediately at his morning voice.

“Good morning, Severus.” you smile as you cuddle into his side.

He wraps an arm around you and turns back onto his side to be face to face with you.

“How did you sleep?” he asks softly, his nose touching yours.

“Wonderfully.” you respond.

Him being next to you got rid of all your nightmares.

“Good.” Snape smiles lightly. His fingers move stray hairs out of your face and faintly trace your jawline.

You want this moment to last forever, but reality slowly begins to dawn on you as you realize you probably should get back to your dormitory before anyone realizes you were gone the entire night.

“Should I go?” you ask.

Snape glances at the clock. A sly expression covers his face as he turns back to you.

“It’s only six...” he whispers in your ear as he pulls himself on top of you, “We have some time.”

Snape goes to kiss your neck and you sigh with pleasure. You feel yourself getting consumed by his touch.

“Although, perhaps not for…” he says slowly as he brings his face back up to yours.

You glance down at his lips, and your stomach flutters, aching for him all over again.

“...Certain activities.” he smirks.

You roll your eyes, smiling as you look away.

“You’re probably right...” you whisper, shooting him a suggestive look, “Wouldn’t want anyone getting suspicious…”

Snape raises an eyebrow at you.

“Don’t tempt me…” he says as he lowers his face closer to yours.

You feel one of his hands slide down your waist to your hip and the world around you starts to fade away. With just his touch, he manages to put you in a state of pure-bliss almost instantly.

He lightly pecks your lips, but then quickly pulls away. You try to push your face up towards his, hopelessly following his lips.

Snape smirks at you again, content at himself for having this control over you. You pout, but you know he won’t cave in.

“If I could keep you here all day, I would.” Snape says in a low voice, “But you probably should go.”

You sigh as he rolls off of you. Besides your uniform looking ruffled and your shirt being mostly unbuttoned, you’re still dressed from last night. You adjust your wrinkled clothes over your body and push yourself out of the bed.

Snape follows, adjusting his collar and trying to smooth down his hair. You inch your way to the door, reaching for your shoes. You know you have to leave but you want to extend this moment out as long as possible.

After slipping on your shoes, you straighten up to find Snape watching you silently. You meet his gaze and take a step towards him

“Thank you,” you say, louder than you meant to, “For last night, I mean.”

Snape shakes his head, “No need.”

He takes a step closer to you, one hand reaching down to brush against yours. Warmth spreads through you at his light touch. Somehow, these small moments often feel like the most intimate ones. You stare into each others eyes for a few more moments in comfortable silence.

Out of nowhere, you get the sudden urge to test him. He treated you so gently last night, and you needed it then, but you’ve missed the side of him that takes complete control.

You bite your lip and lightly run your hand over the buttons on his shirt.

“Well, see you in class then... Professor.” you whisper.

Snape raises his eyebrows, clearly understanding your hint, and doesn’t hesitate to shove you against the door, pushing himself against you. You gasp, surprised at his forcefulness this early in the morning.

“Careful, Miss y/ln.” Snape drawls, his lips brushing against yours, “Wouldn’t want to end up in detention with that attitude, would we?”

“Maybe I would...” you smirk, wrapping your arms around his neck.

He raises an eyebrow at you, glancing at your lips.

“Don’t be a brat.” he says.

“Or what?” you lean your head back against the door.

Snape exhales loudly, knowing he can’t do anything to you right now.

“This isn’t done.” he says in your ear before taking a step away from you. 

He reaches for the handle of the door and pushes it open.

You step out of the room, pressing your lips together to attempt to hide your amusement. Snape watches you make your way through his office and you send him one last glance before disappearing from his view.

You leave the classroom pleased with yourself. It’s strange, but Snape seems to bring out a confidence in you that you didn’t know you had.

You quietly make your way through the castle, your footsteps echoing through the empty corridors. Some people in the paintings wake from their sleep and start to mutter amongst each other as you walk past them. Through the tall windows, the sun is starting to fill the dim corridors with light.

When you make it to your dormitory, you find that all of your roommates are asleep. You silently crawl into bed, pulling your curtains closed and laying down.

After all these years, Laura was the only roommate of yours that you managed to grow close to. The others were merely acquaintances. They often snuck off to parties late into the night, and you had all formed some kind of silent agreement to not question each other's whereabouts if you didn’t come back until late into the night. It made for less awkward moments.

You stay in your bed until you hear people rustling around in the common room. You proceed to change out of your clothes from yesterday and brush your hair, preparing for the day ahead.

You run down to the Great Hall and grab a bite of toast before heading to your first class of the day: Defense Against the Dark Arts.

As you pass through the corridors you hear people discussing their plans for break. You remember that today is the last day of school before the winter break. How could you have forgotten?

Well, to be fair, you had been pretty distracted by other things.

You had stayed at Hogwarts during every other break and this year was no exception. Your home situation wasn’t the best; your parents remained together through all these years to keep up with appearances, when they really shouldn’t have. Laura used to stay with you at Hogwarts to keep you company, and you sadden at the thought of her not being here this year.

Professor Lupin greets you with a smile as you walk through the door of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom and you smile back at him.

To celebrate the last day before break, he brought in various creatures to observe, and placed them in containers around the room. 

The class period is spent socializing by most of the students, but you quietly observe the Billywigs in a corner of the room. They are not even close to being the most interesting creatures you’ve ever seen, but you find their blue wings calming to look at.

“Are you doing alright?” Professor Lupin says as walks up behind you.

You jump, startled out of your thoughts.

You turn towards him and nod. You know he only means well by asking you, but you’ve grown sick of people constantly treating you like you might break apart at any moment.

“Very well.” Lupin nods, “Let me know if you need anything.”

You give Professor Lupin a small smile and he goes back to walking around the room.

You sigh to yourself as you watch your classmates laugh together in groups.

***

Professor Snape doesn't view the upcoming break as something to waste a class period celebrating. Most student’s brains, however, are already in break mode regardless, and they struggle to keep up with the directions of a potion Snape writes on the board.

At your workstation, you take a deep breath, composing yourself, and begin.

First, you gather powdered porcupine quills. Then, powdered moonstone.

You slowly begin to mix the ingredients into the cauldron, glancing at the directions on the board every once in a while to make sure you’re doing everything correctly.

After you add powdered unicorn horn and syrup of hellebore, the liquid turns a light shade of blue.

_So far so good._

You let it simmer until it transforms into a brighter turquoise color, occasionally stirring the contents.

With your focus and determination, the Draught of Peace turns out perfectly.

You smile, proud of yourself for successfully brewing one of the most complex potions of this class.

You begin to clean up your workstation and don’t notice Snape walking over to you. You turn to find him standing across from you, peering into the Cauldron for a moment before looking up to your eyes.

Your stomach drops to your feet upon meeting his stare, but you don’t break eye contact.

“Exceptional work, y/ln.” he says quietly, not wanting any other students to hear him complimenting you.

You attempt to hide your shock and smile contently. You don’t think you’ve ever heard him compliment a student in class.

“Thank you, sir.” you say.

He gives a curt nod before walking around your cauldron and to the next table. As he passes you, you feel him graze your hand. A small piece of parchment is left in place of his touch.

You look around the classroom scared someone saw what he just did. But he wouldn’t do something like that carelessly. Everyone is distracted, helplessly trying to fix their potions last minute.

You wait until Snape is across the room before unfolding the parchment beside the cauldron, hiding it out of site from any peering eyes.

_Astronomy tower 9pm_

Your stomach fills with butterflies and you have to bite the inside of your cheek to hide the smile tugging at your lips.

You slowly look up from the note and your eyes search the room for Snape.

You spot him across the classroom, watching you. His expression remains neutral as he stares at you for a few seconds before turning away and busying himself with organizing the ingredients on a table in front of him.

The bell soon rings and you tuck the note into your pocket and gather your stuff to head to the door. Snape’s heart slightly falters when he catches you smiling to yourself as you leave his classroom.


	16. Stargazing

The rest of your classes that day go by smoothly. Most of the teachers are also feeling drained from the end of the first term, and are as ready for break as the students are. In Herbology, everyone is way too distracted to be able to properly handle the Snargaluff. Professor Sprout eventually gives up on trying to control the class, letting everyone have a free period.

That night, there’s a feast to celebrate the end of term before the students head home. The Great Hall buzzes with excitement about the holidays and some people are exchanging gifts.

Towards the end of dinner, Cyrus, the Gryffindor from Potions Club, spots you at the y/h table in the noisy Hall.

“Hey! y/n!” he shouts as he makes his way over to you.

You look up from your pudding and turn in your seat. He smiles as he sits down in an open spot next to you, legs pointing away from the table so he’s facing the opposite way from you. He leans his elbows back on the table and smiles.

“Hey.” you smile at him.

“You okay?” Cyrus asks, lowering his voice, “I heard someone was attacked last night in the dungeons.” He looks around hesitantly. “Was it you?”

You look back down at your plate.

“Yeah.” you say quietly, “But I’m okay.”

He raises his eyebrows questioningly. 

“I promise.” you add, forcing a smile.

He nods and looks back around the Hall.

“We should’ve waited for you,” he says.

“Don’t worry about it.” you say, “They’ve had something out for me for a while. Sev- Snape caught them, they didn’t hurt me.” you say.

Cyrus nods again. “Still, I’m sorry we left.”

He reaches down, pulling something out of his pocket.

“Here.” He hands you a chocolate frog.

You raise your eyebrows at him with a smile. Cyrus shrugs.

“I thought you could use it.” he says.

You open your mouth to say something but he abruptly stands up and walks backwards away from your table.

“Happy Christmas, y/n.” Cyrus grins.

You watch him turn and head towards the door of the Great Hall. Other students begin to flow in that direction too. You leave your table and linger by the front entrance, people watching, as the crowd of students pushes their way outside and towards the train.

When all the students leaving for break have left, the entrance door finally shuts closed and an eerie quiet takes over the corridors of the castle. Just earlier, the castle was bustling with noise and excitement, but now it rings with silence.

You head to your dormitory and sigh with satisfaction when you realize all your roommates are gone. They’re all sitting in the train headed to Kings Cross Station, leaving the room entirely for you. You smile to yourself when you think what this could mean; spending more time with Severus without having to sneak out early to avoid suspicions from your roommates.

For the next hour, you lounge around. You attempt to read for a bit, but quickly get bored. You decide to play with some makeup, and even try to fluff up your hair. Although subtle, the makeup brings out your features, and your hair frames your face in a flattering way.

You laugh to yourself, realizing you’re acting like you’re getting ready for a date. You never took Severus as being the sensitive and romantic type, but it seems like tonight is his attempt at it.

You glance at the clock, realizing it’s almost 9, and set off.

***

You cautiously make your way through the castle. Though it’s mostly deserted, there’s still a chance you could be caught by Filch or a Professor.

You reach the Astronomy tower, and begin to ascend the staircase. When you reach the top of the stairs you find that you’re the first one there.

_Unusual of him to be late._

You walk around the room at the top of the tower, running your hand lightly over some of the smaller telescopes situated around the room. The only light that fills the tower is from the windows, where the bright moon shines outside.

You approach the archway that leads to the balcony outside the room. When you reach the railing, you run your hands over the metal and lean your elbows onto it. A cold breeze sweeps through you and you shiver lightly, pulling your robe closer to your body. You look up at the night sky, and although it’s cloudy, you can still see some bright stars peeking through.

Staring up at the universe brings a sense of calm over you. You’ve thought about it a lot, how we’re all just a tiny speck compared to what could be out there. It’s infinite.

You hear a door open and close from inside the tower and then footsteps getting closer to you. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Snape, searching for you. You look back out onto the grounds, pretending you didn’t notice him enter.

He walks up behind you and his hands slowly wrap around your waist. You immediately lean into his warm touch and rest your head against his chest.

“Hi.” you sigh.

Snape places a light kiss on the top of your head, murmuring a quiet hello. You contemplate asking him why he was late, but decide against it.

“How are you?” you ask, tilting your head to the side to look at his face.

Snape contemplates his answer for a second.

“Relieved.” he says, “Now that everyone is gone.”

You laugh softly, “Me too.”

You stay like that for a few moments, gazing at the night sky with Snape holding you. His warm body brings much needed heat to your cold one, and he even wraps his cloak around you when he feels you shivering.

As you’re trying to figure out the name of a constellation, you look over at Snape to find him watching you. A look of worry crosses his face for a brief second.

“What’s wrong?” you ask.

He shakes his head. “I hope I didn’t upset you last night. I’m sure you have many questions.”

You nod, going back to staring down at the abandoned grounds below. You hate feeling like you’re in the dark. You hate not knowing what the hell is going on.

“I don’t believe that you deserve to be hidden away from this situation, but there are some things that I can’t reveal to you. Not yet.” Snape continues quietly.

You know you’ll have to face it all eventually, come to terms with whatever is going on behind your back. But in this moment, however selfish of you it may be, you don’t want to think about anyone else or any problems right now.

With Snape’s arms wrapped around you, this moment seems perfect, and you don’t want to ruin it. After all of the chaos you’ve had to face this term, the stillness of the air and the peace in the moment call to you.

“I don’t want to think about it tonight.” you say quietly, “Can we just pretend everything is okay?”

Snape slowly nods against the back of your head.

“With you here, everything is perfect.” he mutters quietly.

The warm, buzzing sensation in your body grows at his comforting words.

You tilt your head to look at him, staring into his onyx eyes. Your heart melts as his gaze moves around your face, absorbing every detail.

He slowly leans down and his lips meet yours. Against the frigid winter air, they feel so warm, and you don’t hesitate to kiss him back. His hands move to your hips and turn you around in his arms. You wrap your arms around his torso, melting into his touch.

As your mouth opens, his tongue immediately finds its way to yours and you moan against his lips. With his hands on your hips, he pushes your body against the railing. A gasp escapes your mouth at the cold contrast of the railing against your back. The kiss quickly becomes more intense and Snape presses his lips harder against your mouth.

You sense he’s following through with his promise from this morning, not wasting a second and quickly turning this into something more heated.

His hands run down over body, slipping under your robe to attempt to get closer to touching your bare skin. He works to untuck your shirt from your skirt, and his hands immediately slip under the fabric to feel your skin. His fingers are cold as they explore your waist and your stomach, and you squirm at his touch. Snape responds by roughly pulling you closer against him.

You sigh against his mouth and tilt your head to deepen the kiss. Your hands tug at his hair as you feel your need for him grow.

Neither of you planned for it to go this far, but the heat of the situation is quickly escalating, and all you know is that you need him right now.

One of your hands runs down his chest and stomach, palming him over his pants. Snape growls in response, roughly squeezing your body.

“Severus,” you sigh in between kisses, “I need you.”

At your words, any logic or reason about the situation that was left in Snape’s mind fades away, and he reaches for your skirt. He pulls it up your torso and impatiently pulls down your panties.

Your hands are trembling at this point and your body is overwhelmed with desire. You struggle to undo his pants as he roughly kisses your neck.

His hands run over your thighs and one grazes over the heat pooled in between your legs. You gasp loudly at his touch as he moves his hand lightly up and down.

Snape chuckles deeply, “Pretty girl, coming undone right under my fingers.”

His voice only turns you on more, the desire in your stomach growing.

You finally get his pants undone and pull them down. Snape takes a second to position himself at your entrance and adjust you in his arms before thrusting into you deeply.

You bite your lip, trying your best not to scream. He gives you barely any time to adjust to his size before slamming into you harder and harder. You whimper lightly, pain mixed with pleasure at his unwavering forcefulness.

“Quiet.” he says, “Wouldn't want to get caught, would we?”

You grab onto his shoulders as he continues to thrust into you, digging your fingers into the fabric of his cloak. His mouth is next to your ear and you hear his breathing grow more labored.

“S-Severus,” you moan lightly into his neck.

Hearing you say his name pushes him closer to the edge, and he picks up his pace. His hands grasp your hips so roughly that you’re sure they’ll leave bruises the next day.

“I want you to look at me.” Snape says as he grabs your chin and forces you to look into his eyes, “I want to see that pretty little face of yours as you come for me.”

You’re too weak, too close, to protest and you stare into his dark gaze as you get closer to the edge. Your breathing hitches as you come closer to finishing. Snape closely watches your face, every twitch, every strain, every movement. His mouth slightly parts, his eyebrows pushing together as he reaches the edge too.

You both release at the same time, the intense feeling takes over your bodies as you slouch against each other.

“Fuck.” you say as you attempt to catch your breath.

Snape pulls out his wand and cleans both of you up with a quick wave. He slides his pants back on and slides your skirt back down to your hips as you slouch against the railing, completely spent.

“Let’s go.” he says, “I’m not finished with you yet.”

Snape grabs your arm roughly and leads you down the stairs of the tower. You don’t argue with him, looking forward to whatever he has in store.


	17. Desire

Snape pulls you roughly behind him, and you trip over your feet several times while trying to keep up with his pace.

“Hurry up.” Snape demands through gritted teeth.

At this point, it’s well past curfew, the candles in the corridors have been extinguished and quiet snores come from the paintings. You both traverse the long corridors urgently, trying your best to keep your footsteps quiet. Just as you round a corner to head down a marble staircase, you run into Filch, who shoots Snape an odd look when he sees him gripping your arm.

Before Filch can say anything, Snape quickly starts talking.

“y/ln was wandering the corridors past curfew…” Snape states, acting as if it's obvious. “I’m escorting her to her dormitory.”

You try to plaster an irritated look on your face. Filch nods and goes back to patrolling the halls.

As you put some distance between you and Filch, you try to suppress a laugh, but Snape squeezes your arm tighter when he sees your lips pressed together.

At first glance, Snape seems angry, though about what, you’re not sure. But as you observe him more closely, you see it’s more of a sort of determination splayed on his features. He knows what he wants, and he won’t stop until he gets it.

He leads you to the dungeons and to his classroom, glancing in both directions down the hall before pulling you through the door behind him.

As soon as you’re inside, Snape slams the door behind you and pushes you roughly against it. He crashes his mouth against yours, opening it right away and letting his tongue in. His hands roam your body almost desperately. Your arms wrap around his torso and your hands go up to grip his shoulders.

The walk from the Astronomy Tower to Snape’s classroom seemed to only make Snape more impatient, more hungry for you. After your performance from this morning, he couldn’t stop thinking about how he was going to get back at you all day. He wasn’t sure of the state you were in after last night, after being pinned down in the dungeons, but after you more than willingly reciprocated his feelings in the Tower, any hesitancy he felt at touching you flew out the window.

With a few quick movements of his fingers, Snape removes your robe and it pools on the floor below you. His hands begin to work the buttons on your shirt, skillfully unbuttoning them one by one. As he tugs the fabric off your shoulders, the cold air makes contact with your skin and you feel goosebumps cover your arms.

Snape smirks and raises an eyebrow when he sees you’re not wearing a bra underneath your shirt. He eyes your breasts for a second before looking back at your eyes with even more lust in his eyes.

You bite your lip at him and smile lightly. You had taken it off earlier, hoping to elicit this exact reaction from him.

He pulls you back into his arms and you tug him even closer to you in an attempt to warm up. His hands run down to your thighs and he pulls you up so your hips are level with his and you moan as he presses himself against you. Your body is completely entangled with his, your legs wrapped around him and your fingers tangled in his hair, roughly pulling at it. He steps away from the door and starts to make his way to his quarters with you in his arms.

As he moves across the room, one of your hands holds onto the back of his neck to keep steady and the other runs down his chest. You unfasten his cloak and it falls to the floor behind him. Then, your hands start to slowly work on the buttons of his jacket to reveal a white undershirt. However, your efforts to undress him fall short as he throws you onto his bed.

A small gasp escapes your mouth at the force of his throw as you make contact with the mattress. You watch Snape’s expression as you adjust yourself to lean up on your elbows. He smirks at you as his eyes rake over your body.

“What?” you say teasingly, a smile playing on your lips.

His eyes continue to move around your figure and he props a knee up on the bed. “Oh, nothing,”

You raise your eyebrows at him questioningly.

Snape leans his body over yours and moves his lips to your ear. “I was just thinking of all the things I could do to you.”

Your stomach drops and your cheeks redden.

“Oh, really?” you say, trying your best to stay confident, but you both hear the slight shakiness in your voice.

Snape raises an eyebrow as he brings his face level to yours.

“Like what?” you say, your gaze dropping to his lips.

As a response, Snape crashes his lips to yours and grabs your wrists, forcefully pinning them on either side of your head. His grip is strong, and you realize how much power he truly has over you in this moment.

“Well, I was thinking,” he easily gathers both of your wrists in one of his hands, and uses the other to grab his wand from the inside of his jacket. “Something like this.” With a subtle wave of his wand and a mutter of his lips, he performs the incarcerous spell and both of your hands are tied up on the bed frame behind your head.

Your mouth gapes open at him as you struggle against the tight ropes. You knew he liked to be controlling, but this is something completely new. He watches your surprised face and smirks.

“Your body…” he says quietly, “is all...” he pauses, looking your body up and down once again.

The deep aching sensation in your stomach grows at hearing his deep voice.

“Mine.” he finishes, his face now barely an inch away from yours.

His words instantly make heat pool in between your legs. As his intense gaze moves around your face, you can tell he’s trying to read you, searching your mind for any doubts. When he sees there are none, he resumes his movements.

Snape brings his mouth back down to yours, immediately parting your lips with his and letting his tongue into your mouth. His hands run up and down your sides, one fondles your breast, lightly pinching your nipple, eliciting a light moan from your lips.

He can’t believe you’re in his arms, all for him. Although a part of his brain is yelling at him how wrong this is, doing this with a student, he silences it. He doesn’t hold back his desire for you. After the amortentia, he knows any absurd rules won't be able to keep you apart from each other. He wants you, and for some unexplainable reason to him, you want him too.

His mouth moves from your lips down to your jaw, and then to your neck, slowly moving against your heated skin. When he notices your body slightly twitch, he pauses at the spot, taking his time to figure out how to evoke that reaction in you again.

“Severus...” you sigh as his lips explore your body.

He sucks on your skin, smirking with satisfaction when he sees he’s left a mark; you’re all his.

You want so badly to run your hands down his back, to pull him closer to you, to show him how badly you want him; but the tight ropes prevent you from doing just that. You roll your hips up at him and sigh his name impatiently.

Taking his time, Snape continues his journey down your body, slowly kissing along your collarbone and around your breasts. He takes your breast into his mouth, licking around your nipple. You look down at him to see he’s watching you closely for your reactions, as if trying to figure out every inch of your skin that’s the most sensitive to his touch.

Your head rolls back as one of his hands finds its way under your skirt and starts to move over the fabric of your panties in small, deliberate circles. His kisses trail down your stomach and to the waistband of your skirt and he begins to pull down your skirt agonizingly slow, watching you squirm in anticipation.

Once your skirt is off, he throws it to the side and begins to move his lips along your inner thighs, his dark hair tickling your sensitive skin. Snape’s fingers run under the elastic of your panties, feeling the skin along your hips. You sigh, your legs twitching under his touch. He relishes seeing you like this, aching for him more and more with each passing second.

Maybe it’s the realization of how exposed you are to him or the intimacy of this moment, but your body tenses up and your cheeks redden as you watch Snape pull down the last layer of fabric separating your heat from him. You become slightly embarrassed, and you’re not sure exactly why.

As if sensing your doubt, Snape’s eyes dart up to your face and he mutters quietly, “You’re pretty like this.”

When he feels you relax under him, he leans back down to kiss the skin on your thighs, slowly inching his way closer to between your legs. After a moment, he brings his head up to spit in between your legs, and his eyes meet yours, causing the deep ache in your stomach to intensify.

Snape moves his head back down, and when you feel his tongue on your heat, all your nerves dissipate and you throw your head back further into the pillow. You let out a loud gasp as his tongue moves in between your folds and flicks around your clit in circles, making you squirm even more.

He grabs your hips and roughly pushes them down into the bed, trying to keep you still. One hand runs under your thigh and pushes it up in order to open you up to him even more.

He moves his tongue around you precisely, as if each movement is perfectly calculated, and your breathing grows heavier. Snape watches your face, your eyes squeezed shut and head rolled back in pure bliss. Your back arches and you pull against the constraints holding your hands in place as the tension in your body grows.

“Fuck-” you moan, “Severus, please-”

Snape lightly hums in satisfaction at your pleasure, and the vibrations from his lips only push you closer to the edge.

“Please don’t stop-” you say breathlessly.

The movements of his tongue become quicker, and he grips your thighs and waist even tighter. He’s able to perfectly read your body - the twitches in the muscles of your legs, the furrowing of your eyebrows, the arching of your back - to know when to pick up his pace.

It only takes a few more moments of his tongue moving against you for you to tumble over the edge. The feeling taking over your body is so intense that, for a second, you’re convinced you’ll pass out at the overwhelming sensations. Snape continues to lick up and down, gently cleaning you up as you come down from your high.

Your eyes slowly flutter open and you see Snape slightly panting as he sits up. You stay like that for a moment, staring at each other while catching your breath.

“Oh my god, Severus.” you laugh lightly, unable to believe any of this is happening.

Snape smirks, clearly pleased with himself, and brings his body back over yours. You feel the now very pronounced bulge between his pants pressing against you and your need for him grows once more.

He’s able to immediately read the slight change in your expression, see the longing behind your eyes, and crashes his lips onto yours. You push your head up, pressing your lips harder against his and wrap your legs around his body, pulling him into you.

His hands run down your sides and then move to his pants to undo them. He lets out a small groan as he pulls them down and releases his aching erection. His gaze goes back to your face as he positions himself at your entrance, and you feel his member graze against your wetness.

Snape pauses for a second, looking over your face. Although his face remains stoic and he retains his controlling demeanor, he still is analyzing you to make sure you’re okay with everything that’s happening. He knows tonight is something new and doesn’t want to push you further than you’re comfortable with.

You buck your hips upwards and moan his name to convey how badly you want this. That one quick gesture gives him all the reassurance he needs, and he’s back to being in complete control. He thrusts into you hard, not holding back his hunger for you.

“Fuck, y/n.” Snape mutters quietly under his breath.

He picks up his pace quickly, yearning for a release. His face goes to kiss under your jaw, then moves to lightly bite your ear. His tongue swirls around your skin in a way that makes you squirm restlessly under him. One of Snape’s hands massages your breast and the other bends your leg up so he can push deeper into you.

Snape continues to thrust and sweat begins to build up on his forehead. His eyebrows knit together in concentration as he watches your face contort in pleasure. He lets out occasional grunts, pushing into you even harder and faster when he notices he hits a sensitive spot, it’s almost too much for you to take.

“I’m close, Sever-” you moan.

Your words are cut off by his hand, which flies to and tightens around your neck in less than a second. Your mouth immediately parts in a gasp.

“Beg for it.” he demands fiercely.

His long fingers tighten at your throat and you become lightheaded at the pressure. That, combined with the nearing of your orgasm, leaves you powerless to attempt to act like a brat in this moment, and you give into his request immediately.

“Please Severus,” you moan desperately, “Make me come.”

The look in his eyes is completely taken over by lust. And with hearing your voice, he pounds into you even harder. It only takes a few more thrusts to send you over the edge, and for the third time that night, he makes you scream. Snape follows a few short seconds afterward, groaning as he finishes inside you.

After a minute of both of you catching your breath, Snape pulls out of you and collapses on the bed. He reaches for his wand to undo the ropes keeping you in place, and your arms fall down next to you. You sigh in relief as you feel your arms finally able to relax. Snape gently grabs your wrists and lightly massages them, placing kisses on your hands.

You give him an exhausted smile in appreciation and push your body closer to his. Snape turns on his side and reaches his hand out to lightly stroke your cheek, taking in how beautiful you look to him in this moment. Not long passes before both of you are engulfed by sleep.


	18. Gifts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for all the support! <3 i appreciate all of u, and happy new year :)

Throughout break, you spend the majority of your nights in Snape's quarters. With all your roommates gone, you don't have to worry about making sure you get back to your dormitory before the sun rises.

You've grown comfortable spending so much time with him and, although it still feels surreal that any of this is happening, it somehow also feels natural. You have to remind yourself to be careful, that there's still a chance you could be caught sneaking around with your Potion's Professor.

To your surprise, on Christmas morning you wake up in your dormitory to two presents at the end of your bed. With everything going on, you had kind of forgotten about Christmas, and due to your lack of friends this year, you weren't expecting any presents.

One of the gifts is very poorly wrapped in an old issue of the Daily Prophet and contains a very itchy scarf from your mom. You proceed to bury her poor effort of trying to be nice at the bottom of your trunk.

The other present, however, has no name written on it and is delicately wrapped in a deep red fabric. You open it hesitantly to find that it's a small box containing a shiny black crystal hanging on a thin chain. You stare at it, absolutely mesmerized.

_Who is this from?_

You look in the box, searching for a note, an explanation. When you find nothing, you begin to dig around your bed in case anything fell out. But all your searching is of no avail.

You spend a good portion of the afternoon sitting in the common room, brows furrowed, examining the necklace, contemplating. You've never been gifted anything like this before, and you question who it could be from. Your heart flutters at the thought that it might've been Severus.

As the clock ticks closer to five, you tuck the necklace into your pocket and leave the common room to head to dinner.

***

During the Christmas feast, the students who had stayed at Hogwarts over break are invited to eat at one long table with the teachers, and you somehow find yourself sitting across from Snape. He steals glances of you throughout the dinner, catching your eye occasionally, and you strain in your seat impatiently, wanting the feast to end.

Your thoughts grow progressively worse and it becomes apparent very quickly that Snape is observing your mind, scowling occasionally at your wild fantasies. At the exact moment when he's discussing an elixir with Dumbledore, you purposefully imagine getting on your knees in front of him.

"Based on how the events continue to unfold I believe-" Snape's breath hitches and he falters on his words as you imagine touching him. His eyes narrow for a second, but he doesn't glance in your direction. "I believe that we should wait before making any drastic decisions." he smoothly resumes his sentence and turns back to his plate.

You press your lips together to hide the smile threatening to appear on your lips. Snape shoots a look at you, and although it's quick to not raise suspicion, you read it very well - it promises you'll pay for that later.

"Laura Bright is to return after break, y/n." Dumbledore suddenly speaks up.

You look over at him, surprised he's addressing you.

"Really?" you respond, momentarily taken out of your thoughts.

He nods. "I thought you should be one of the first to know."

An overwhelming feeling of guilt takes over your body as you realize at some point along the way, you had stopped thinking about her.

"Is she okay?" you ask.

He nods again. "Do not be alarmed, however, if it takes her some time to..." he pauses, "...adjust."

You furrow your brows before nodding in response. There's endless questions you want to ask, but you don't want to push it; you're surprised that the Headmaster is talking to you this casually in the first place.

As you go back to your plate, you feel a burning sensation by your hip. It feels like there's a small fire burning a hole in your pocket. When you look down, you see nothing unusual, but you hear a voice.

_"Come to my quarters after dinner."_

You dart your head up at Snape, surprised he would say such a thing out loud. But no one around you seems to have noticed his statement. Most people are finishing up their deserts at this point, and starting to leave the table.

Your eyes lock with Snape's across the table and your mouth slightly falls open.

_How?_

_"I see you received my present."_ Snape's voice speaks again, but his mouth doesn't move.

It seems, somehow, in this moment, your minds are connected and you're able to communicate with each other.

_The necklace._

Snape's lips twitch with the slightest hint of a smirk.

_"Indeed."_

You smile to yourself and your heart warms. So it was from him.

_Thank you._

Snape goes back to his plate, picking at the cake with his fork and, for a second, you think you see him smile. After a minute, he looks back up at you before standing up from the table and heading out of the Great Hall.

You sit in your spot for a few more minutes, letting yourself bask in pure joy.

***

You knock softly on the dark, wooden door of the Potions classroom and after a few seconds Snape opens it slowly. At catching sight of you, Snape's expression slightly softens and he moves out of the way to let you inside, swiftly closing the door behind you. He turns to look at you and you catch his gaze moving up and down your body.

"Hi," you smile, your cheeks going slightly red. Despite all you've done together, you somehow manage to get butterflies anytime he looks at you.

"Evening, Miss y/n." he says softly as he walks closer.

Your stomach does a flip at hearing your name roll off his tongue.

He takes one more step towards you and his hand reaches for your face.

"I've been waiting to do this all day." he says quietly as he lowers his lips to yours.

He kisses you deeply, slowly. It feels like every time his mouth meets yours, a fire lights up inside you, making you feel more alive. Your hands snake around his body and his wrap around your waist, moving to the small of your back.

Before things get too heated, you pull back.

"Thank you, Severus." you whisper, "For the necklace."

He gives you a nod and the corner of his mouth twitches.

You grab the necklace, still in your pocket, and hold it out in front of you. "Can you..." you start to say.

"Of course." Snape replies.

He gently takes the necklace from your hands and you turn around, grabbing your hair and moving it to the side. With your back to him, you feel his fingers move a few stray hairs out of the way, and linger on your skin for a moment. He brings his hands around to place the necklace around your neck, carefully clasping it secure. When he's done, his hands move your hair back, and reach for your shoulder to spin you around.

You mutter a quiet thank you as you turn to face him.

He takes the crystal hanging around your neck into his hand, eyeing it. After a moment of silence he says, "It connects us." he says, straining to get the words out, "Although, it only works when both of us have an extreme desire to communicate."

You smile softly at him. "I wasn't sure if we were at that point yet," you sigh, "If I'd known you were getting me something, I would-"

"Oh, shush." Snape cuts you off and grabs your hand to lead you to his quarters.

In all honesty, he doesn't think you're at that point either. And looking back now, he's not exactly sure what got into him, getting you a necklace, connecting your mind with his.

A lot of your relationship so far had been based on physical encounters. But the more he's around you, the more you seem to pull him in, no matter how much he resents it.

Snape leads you into his quarters and closes the door behind him. You stroll around the room, slightly disappointed he doesn't have any Christmas decorations set up, but the candles floating near the ceiling add to the coziness of the room.

You head to the couch and plop down at one end. When you turn your body, you find Snape isn't following you. Instead he's walking past his fireplace, which he easily ignites with a flick of his wand, and stops at a shelf by his desk. He grabs a bottle of firewhiskey before glancing over at you.

"Would you like a glass?" he asks hesitantly.

You nod and give him a smile in return.

Snape goes back to the shelf to grab two glasses, holding the firewhiskey in his other hand, and then swiftly makes his way over to you. He sets himself opposite from you and places the glasses and bottle down on the table in front of the couch. He proceeds to unscrew the cap of the firewhiskey with his quick fingers and pours both of you a glass.

"Cheers." he says as he hands you one.

"Cheers." you reply, eyeing him curiously.

You both take a sip of your drinks and Snape raises an eyebrow at you when you barely flinch at the strong liquor going down your throat. It instantly fills your body with warmth, and you bring your knees to your chest to hug yourself. The crackling of the fireplace is the only sound that fills the silence of the room.

The small space between you feels like it separates you by miles. You want nothing more than to wrap yourself around him, but for some reason the nerves in your stomach are preventing you from reaching out to him.

Ever since you had thanked him for the necklace, a trace of tension developed between you. You chew at the inside of your cheek, wondering if you said something wrong.

_How the fuck did this turn so awkward?_

Although Snape is able to read your worry, he doesn't speak up. He's trying to rid his own urge to push you away. He knows getting you the necklace was what he wanted to do, but a part of him is convinced that it's a bad idea to get this close to you. He feels like he'll only end up hurting you in the end.

Your mind continues to spiral. Maybe he regrets giving you the necklace, maybe he changed his mind, maybe-

"y/n." Snape's voice pulls you out of your thoughts.

You dart your head to look at him.

"Would you like another glass?" he asks casually as he reaches for the bottle and begins pouring more liquor into his own glass. You didn't realize you had drained your glass empty.

"Yeah, thanks." you sigh with relief, his tone made you relax a bit.

You move your glass closer to his on the table and as your hand grazes his, your heart jumps. Snape doesn't move away from your touch, and you let out a quiet breath in relief. The contact calms both of you and you scoot closer to him on the couch.

You sit together, enjoying each other's company for a long while, occasionally speaking up to make remarks. The alcohol hits you harder than it does Snape, and after just a couple of refills, you feel your nerves ease up and your body relax.

Suddenly, a flash of blue light from a shelf across the room catches your eye. Perplexed, you turn towards it. You push yourself off the couch and carefully stand. Just as you start to take a step in the direction of the mysterious light, your head sways intensely and you lose balance on your feet.

Snape, who was watching you with interest, unaware of the flash of light behind him, quickly jumps up to his feet and grabs both of your arms to steady you and prevent you from falling. You straighten your body to look up at him.

"I shouldn't have let you drink so much." Snape sighs.

You laugh in response, finding the whole situation rather amusing. As your eyes meet his dark ones, you completely forget about your determination to figure out what the blue light was, and find yourself completely absorbed by the desire to kiss him.

Your hands move to wrap around the back of his neck and you smile as you start to lean in. Snape however, leans back, moving his face away from yours, and raises an eyebrow.

You groan in annoyance and grab out for him. "Let me kiss you." you pout. "Why are you acting so strange?"

Snape simply holds you steady, eyeing your face curiously. His grip on your arms loosens and one hand goes to your waist, but he's still holding you slightly away from him.

"Come on, Severus." you whine, attempting to move closer to him again. An idea pops into your head. "I haven't even given you your Christmas present." you say with a smirk.

Snape raises his eyebrows, intrigued. "And what would that be?" he asks.

Your gaze runs mischievously down his face to his lips, then further down his body, as you run your fingers down his chest.

"I have a few ideas in mind." you reply smugly.

Your suggestive offer breaks down Snape's resolute position, and he pulls you down on the couch with him.

"Show me then, if you're so eager." he says, grabbing your waist and pulling you on top of his lap so you're straddling him.

You bring your face down to his and melt into him, grateful he's finally touching you. The kiss is sloppier than usual, thanks to the alcohol running through both of your veins, but in that moment, it feels like exactly what you need.

Your hand runs down the black fabric of his coat and down to his pants, where you trace the outline of his growing bulge. You smirk to yourself, planning your next move in your head.

Snape grabs your wrist harshly, "Don't even think about teasing me."

"Of course not, _Professor._ " you say, "I wouldn't dream of it." you frown.

Snape raises his eyebrows at you as a response. He watches you slowly climb off of his lap and set yourself down on the floor in front of him. Your hands run up his thighs before reaching to unbutton his pants and pull them down far enough to reveal his length.

Snape continues to watch your movements and his breath hitches as you take him into your hand, gently stroking him.

"What did I say, Miss y/ln?" he says harshly through gritted teeth.

You can't help the quiet laugh that comes out of your mouth, the alcohol in your system seems to make everything less serious.

Snape grabs you by your hair, pulling your head back roughly so you're looking up at him. There's an anger, a desire, behind his eyes, and the intensity of his stare makes heat pool in between your legs.

"y/ln..." he drawls, almost like a warning.

"Sorry, Professor." you reply, trying to add a tone of innocence to your voice.

Hearing you call him Professor only turns him on more and he tangles his hand into your hair. You lean down, licking his tip before fully taking him into your mouth. As you begin to move your head up and down, Snape's hands tug at your hair to guide your slightly messy movements. You try your best to relax your throat and take more of him into your mouth, but his length is too much for you to take, and you use your hand to stroke what you can't fit of him into your mouth.

Snape's breathing begins to grow heavier and he pushes your head down further and rougher as he feels his pleasure growing.

"Fuck, y/ln." he groans under his breath.

He's not the most vocal person when it comes to showing his pleasure, but every time a sound escapes his lips, it flows through your entire body, making you ache for him.

You continue moving your head up and down, going faster when you feel his hands grabbing your head even harder. His body twitches under you, and with a final grunt, he finishes in your mouth. You quickly swallow all of it and proceed to clean him up with your tongue.

Snape pants, watching you with a mix of awe and bewilderment on his face. After you're finished, you push yourself off the ground and throw yourself back on the couch, exhausted.

Your need for sleep takes over the arousal you feel in your body, and you lean into Snape's side. Noticing your exhaustion, Snape doesn't push you away from him, letting you relax into the warmth of his body.

"Happy Christmas, Severus." you mutter, your eyes already closed.

"Happy Christmas, y/n." he says. But his voice sounds distant as your body becomes entirely consumed by sleep.


	19. Shock

The rest of winter break passes by uneventfully. Students had started preparing for exams, and you knew you should probably study for the NEWTs you were taking, but you seemed to be severely lacking motivation. It didn't help that you couldn't focus because your mind was constantly consumed by Snape, who for the past few days had been acting distant.

In fact, he hadn't made any effort to talk to or spend time with you since the night he gifted you the necklace. Any conversation you had had since then was strained. You weren't able to shake the feeling that you did something wrong to cause this awkwardness, but you couldn't figure out what. Then again, being pushed away by him wasn't exactly an uncommon occurrence when it came to your relationship.

A couple of times you tried to pretend to run into him while wandering through the castle out of boredom, but besides an odd frown, he didn't react to you or try to pull you away to his classroom. You also tried to contact him with the necklace, holding it in your hand and squeezing your eyes shut while picturing his face. But you weren't able to connect with him like you did in the Great Hall during the Christmas feast.

It's the last day of break before all of the students return, and you spend it in the common room, enjoying the emptiness of it before it goes back to being filled with people every night. Your fingers mindlessly play with the necklace as you sit on a comfy chair in front of the fireplace, but you don't attempt to connect your mind with his, you've given up on trying to. Nothing makes you angrier than when he pushes you away, so you let him have his space so you can have some peace of mind.

You know tomorrow Laura will return, and although you can't explain it, you have an odd feeling take over your body whenever you think about the situation too much. A weird lump in your stomach forms at the thought of facing her again, facing whatever seems to be going on that everyone except you knows about.

Your eyes glaze over your charms textbook, attempting to get some studying in, but you're not taking in any of the words as you reread the same line over and over again.

_"The Gouging Spell allows one to carve through earth and stone with ease. It's used in the work..."_

You've spent so long in the same spot that you don't even notice that the fire has calmed to a dim burn and everyone has gone off to bed. You know you should get up, but you can't lift yourself up off the comfort of the soft cushions. Your eyes begin to slowly droop closed, your wakefulness falling away, but just then, you feel it.

The burning. It's a lot stronger than this time than it was during the Christmas feast, and leaves a light buzzing sensation on the skin around where the necklace sits. You sit up fast and your textbook thuds to the floor as an overwhelming rush takes over your body. It's more a feeling than a voice, but you sense it.

_"Come out."_

You know exactly what it means, exactly where it wants you to go. You let it guide you across and out of the room, leaving the warmth of the common room for the cold, dark, corridor. Once you're standing outside in the corridor, a light breeze sweeps past you, almost like a ghost moving through you, and you shiver, realizing you forgot to grab your robes in your rush out.

You begin to take a few steps forward, and although you're still in control of your movements, it feels almost intuitive. The winter winds outside hum lightly, and the cold that they bring seeps through the glass windows, making you feel awake and alert. Your body aches for warmth but your mind is completely calm.

You wander around for a few minutes and end up in a secluded corridor with only one door at the end of it. Confused, you scrunch your eyebrows; the feeling of your body being guided has ceased.

"y/ln." you hear in a deep, familiar tone.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, preparing yourself to turn around and face him. You're planning your words carefully, but you feel your tangled mess of built up emotions building and you know you won't be able to contain yourself if you open your mouth.

Before you have time to comprehend what's happening, Snape's hand wraps around your neck from behind and pulls you closer to him. Your surprise gets caught in your throat, quiet literally, by the hand tightening lightly around your throat.

Your muscles begin to relax as the familiar scent of parchment and musk consumes you, and you know you're safe. However, you're not exactly sure why he chose now, in this way, to show that he still remembers or cares about you.

You strain your neck in an attempt to look around the corridor, worried you might be spotted, but it's completely abandoned. Snape pulls you closer to him by wrapping his other free hand around your waist, resting it on your stomach. The back of your head hits his hard chest first and the rest of your body follows, and quickly you're completely pressed against him. You can't help but relax against the warmth of his body.

His lips move to your ear and you feel his heated breath on your skin. Your eyes close, being completely engulfed by him.

"Naughty girl. Roaming the corridors at night." he says in a slow, hushed tone.

Your mind flashes with memories of how he confronted you in a corridor at night a couple of months ago, how angry you were at him then too.

His mouth grazes your ear, almost too light to be able to feel, but the sensation sends a shock through your body and you let out a small sigh.

"Shush now." he whispers, pulling you closer to him by your neck, you can tell there's a smirk forming on his face. "Don't want to give me more reasons to punish you."

Just as you pull yourself enough out of your trance to arch your back and give him a reason to do just that, he releases you and takes a step back.

You turn around slowly, your breath uneven, to finally look at him. All the things you were planning to say to him have fled your mind, and confusion swarms through your brain. How is he able to make you forget about everything just with one touch?

"5 points from y/h." Snape says, looking bored, "And you'll serve detention once term resumes."

You nod, too flustered to speak. The corner of his lip twitches, his eyes flicking to your ruffled shirt. He looks satisfied at your state for a moment before his gaze quickly darkens and he's back to his usual self.

"Back to bed then, y/ln..." Snape says.

When you remain standing in front of him, still processing the events that just took place, he raises an eyebrow at you. You're angry, but there is definitely something to be said for the rush you get when he touches you after ignoring you for so long.

You open your mouth to tell him off for avoiding you for the past few days, but he quickly speaks up, "Monday after dinner in my office. And don't be late."

You roll your eyes. Any other time you would've found the whole professor act enticing, but at this point you feel like you could scream at him.

He swiftly turns around, his cloak billowing behind him, and you catch sight of Mrs. Norris entering the corridor from a small gap in the wall. Letting you a frustrated sigh, you trudge back to the common room and into your dormitory.

In your mix of fury and excitement, you forget to pick up your charms book still laying on the ground in front of the fire, and you fail to notice the person sitting in the bed to the left of yours as you enter the dormitory and slam the door behind you.

"Hi." the person squeaks, and you let out a scream, completely caught off guard.

You quickly turn towards the source of the voice and find that it belongs to your roommate and ex-best friend, Laura, now flinching away from you. However, she looks completely different than you remember her from a couple months ago. Her hair is cut short and dark, a stark contrast to her lighter, more flowy hair in November. Her face certainly looks better than it did the last time you saw her, all the bruises and cuts have healed without a hint that they were ever there in the first place. Her arms are skinnier, she looks almost frail, like she would completely break if you touched her, and you see her shivering as she reaches to pull her covers around her.

"Laura." you sigh, slowly walking over to her, "When did you get here?"

She pushes herself farther back on her bed, away from you, while shaking her head. "You're not supposed to be here, you are NOT supposed to be here!" she mutters under her breath.

"What-?" you back up, slightly confused, and sit down on the edge of your bed.

Her nervousness seems to lightly ease as you distance yourself, and her muttering slows as she watches you crawl under your covers. You wonder if you should go get someone, but when you glance at the door, Laura shouts, "NO!"

You quickly look back at her, mustering a quiet, "Okay."

As she rocks back and forth, calming down, you observe her, trying to figure out what happened. She seems completely unstable and you wonder why they would send her back if she hasn't mentally recovered from being attacked in the forest.

"There will be people. You might be nervous. But talk to them. Try to make friends." she mutters quietly to herself, her eyes squeezed shut, "The bad ones are gone. The bad ones are gone. The bad ones..."

You attempt to push yourself down on your bed and pull the covers over you, thinking it's better to leave her alone. You grip your wand under your covers, anxious she might lash out at you. You try to steady your breath, convincing yourself that they wouldn't send her back if she would hurt others.

"y/n! You're y/n!" she says suddenly, letting out a laugh, but it sounds off, almost forced.

You sit up in bed again and try to keep your tone calm, "Yes, I'm y/n."

Laura laughs again, staring at the wall in front of her. You're not sure if you should say anything else, but she's calmed down now, and you don't want to do anything to cause her to panic again. Within a few seconds, she falls back, and her head hits the pillow. You lay down as well, and after a while you hear her breathing become more steady as she falls into sleep.

You can't do the same.


	20. Connections

The day when students come back from winter break feels oddly normal, peaceful almost. They swarm the halls and discuss the presents they all received and the amazing places they visited.

When your roommates return to your dormitory, Laura remembers them and greets them with ease; she doesn't freak out like she did when she first saw you. They are less than enthusiastic about her return, and quickly return to ignoring both of you.

The first day back in classes went as well as could be expected, distracted students and teachers lecturing about the new term and about the upcoming exams in a few months.

Nevertheless, you're exhausted, and your eyes threaten to close while you're sitting in the Great Hall at dinner.

Laura had seemed to return to her normal self, and you don't bring up her odd behavior from her first night back as you sit with her. Across the Hall several professors watch Laura apprehensively, observing how she's adjusting to being back at Hogwarts. Dumbledore however, looks oddly calm compared to those who surround him, and he's leaning towards Snape, muttering something. Snape gives the occasional nod, but he too looks unbothered.

Towards the end of dinner, you decide to ask her what happened. You hadn't really had a chance so far to talk to her about everything, but she finally seemed to be in a stable state, and you wanted to hear things from her perspective. "Laura?"

"Yeah?" she responds, briefly glancing up at you from her pie.

"Where were you?" you ask slowly, "All this time, I mean."

She pauses the movement of her fork and sets it down, slowly turning to you. "St. Mungos."

You raise your eyebrows. Snape did say she was recovering from her attack in the forest, but didn't mention any details. You were glad someone was finally fueling your curiosity and not deflecting your questions.

"They were fixing my memory." she says, but her face flinches as if she has to strain to get the words out.

"Yeah?" you say quietly, urging her to continue.

"They told me I was attacked. They tried to get me to say who it was, but," she sighs, "I don't remember. I don't remember who it was, I don't remember a lot of things. They wanted to keep me there longer, but eventually sent me back here, to Hogwarts, in hopes it would stir something in my memory I guess."

"Shit, Laura." Your stomach drops in disappointment. It seems like you'll be in the dark about the truth forever.

"I wanted to write to you as soon as I recovered enough to realize the way I flipped out at you was messed up, it was like I wasn't even in control-" she says quickly, "But they wouldn't let me have contact with anyone from outside the hospital."

You shake your head, that seems like it was so long ago.

"It's okay. Really." you say genuinely, reaching an arm out to her shoulder. "You know, someone tried to attack me too." you add, trying to steer the conversation to find out information you had been denied for weeks.

Laura's jaw drops, "What?! Who?"

"It was two boys from Slytherin, Reid and Mueller... and someone else too..." you trail off.

"Who else?" Laura asks impatiently.

"Moss, I think you know them. You never told me about them, but it seemed like something was going on between you."

Laura looks confused for a second but then a look of understanding flashes across her face. "You mean Hollis?"

"Hollis Moss?" you ask.

"Yeah..." she smiles softly as if reminiscing.

"They were with the two Slytherins who tried to pin me down," you say and her smile vanishes, "Snape said one of the Slytherins had a bottle of Veritaserum."

"Professor Snape?" she scoffs.

"Yes, Professor Snape." you frown, but suddenly remember you're not exactly supposed to like him, and try to plaster a more neutral expression on your face. "He was the one who found me that night."

"That's surprising. Unexpected." she laughs lightly.

"Were you friends with Hollis? Or..." you ask, trying to turn the subject away from Snape.

Laura looks down at the table, brows furrowed together, "Yeah, we... well it's complicated. I didn't tell you because I didn't even know what it was. And, to be honest, wait..." suddenly she looks at you, eyes wide.

"What?"

"Hollis was there." she mutters.

"Where?"

"That night, in the forest, Hollis was there-" she mutters quickly under her breath.

You feel something inside you light up. So Snape's suspicion was true. Your attacks are connected.

"It's so blurry," Laura says, squeezing her eyes shut. "Wait, maybe I've got it mixed up."

Your heart sinks, but you stay silent so as to not interrupt her.

"My head," Laura suddenly grabs her head with her hands, resting her elbows on the table, "Every time I try to figure out the details of-" she winces and pulls at her hair, "My head-"

You lean closer towards her in worry. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push it-"

"No, it's fine. I need to figure it out. If it wasn't for this-" she strains her neck, "Agh!"

Several students are curiously looking in your direction now, and you crane your neck towards the staff table, but Madam Pomfrey is already halfway down the aisle between the tables, heading towards Laura.

"Come on, let's get you to the infirmary." you say, helping Laura stand.

***

Almost as soon as her head hits the pillow on the bed in the infirmary, Laura falls into a deep sleep. You sit next to her for a few minutes. Madam Pomfrey assures you she'll be fine, that it's just a migraine and nothing to worry about. She tells you to go so Laura can rest, and eventually you leave the infirmary to head to your dormitory.

You're lost in your thoughts as you reach the entrance to your common room, but out of the corner of your eye, you see a flash of blue light and you're pulled out of your spiraling mind. It came from outside through a nearby window but disappeared as soon as you noticed it. You ponder the spot in confusion for a moment, feeling uneasy when you remember you saw a similar light in Snape's quarters on Christmas.

And then you remember your detention.

_Shit._

You had completely forgotten about your detention until now, and you quickly rush down to the dungeons. You end up shaking the blue light off as a figment of your imagination, knowing you have bigger things to worry about right now.

The door to the potions classroom is open when you approach it, so you stroll right in and head to Snape's office. You're not sure what you're expecting, his mixed signals over the past few days have confused you and the state of your relationship.

The door to his office swings open after a couple of knocks, and you close it behind you as you walk inside. Snape is sitting at his desk, and he gestures for you to take the seat across from him. 

"I know I'm late but I was helping Laura, she-" you start to explain calmly.

"I'm well aware. Sit." Snape responds simply. The expression he wears almost gives off the impression that he's not surprised, about what happened to Laura or the fact that you're late.

You put your bag on the floor and shake off your robe, placing it around the chair, slightly surprised at his understanding. He senses that you don't particularly want to discuss the topic surrounding Laura's return further, and doesn't question you.

Snape begins to instruct you, "You'll be peeling and extracting the liquid from the shrivel figs. I have other ingredients you can prepare if you are productive..." he says lazily, placing a jar with shrivel figs in front of you, "It's for a Shrinking Solution I'm preparing to demonstrate for the third years." Snape goes back to grading the parchment in front of him, not glancing at you again.

_Are you kidding?_

Whatever you were expecting, it wasn't this. Preparing ingredients for a potion shouldn't even be considered a punishment or detention by Professor Snape's standards, and in any other circumstance you wouldn't have minded helping him. But he went through the effort to get you into trouble, to get you into detention with him, just for you to peel shrivel figs.

Quite frankly, you don't really feel like being in his presence, especially if he's just going to ignore you for the next couple of hours. You are starting to grow tired of the way he pushes you away and then acts as if everything's normal. 

You stare at the jar on the desk in front of you. Something about the fact that he was telling you to do this, expecting you to do this, sets something off in you. After a moment of contemplation, you lean back in the chair and cross your arms. Snape pauses the scribble of his quill and slowly looks up at you.

You tilt your chin up, trying your best to remain confident. "I don't see why I should have to do this. You were the one who lured me out into the castle at night." you say, keeping your voice steady.

Snape's eyes narrow at you and he sets his jaw. "Miss y/ln-"

"If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here in the first place." you interrupt him.

Snape is almost speechless. He's not used to people rejecting his authority, let alone talking back or interrupting him. He contemplates you, anger growing behind his dark eyes. If you were anyone else at this moment, he would've exploded with fury. But you're not anyone else, and both of you know it. He hates the power you have over him.

"If I'm not mistaken, you were the one who so restlessly tried to get my attention. Isn't this what you wanted?" he says, gesturing around the room, as if the thing you wanted most in the world was a detention.

Snape knows, deep inside, he's at fault for making you feel the way you do. Frankly, he's surprised you've continued trying for so long despite all the ways he's pushed you away. But opening up to you would mean revealing things about himself, about his past, that he's not so sure he wants you to know just yet. He has no idea how you would react to any of it.

"Oh please," you scoff, "I'm sick of you treating me like you can do whatever you want. Like I don't have feelings. I'm sick of putting in effort wh-" you stammer as you stare back at him, "-when you don't even care."

That sentence seems to trigger something in him, and he shoots up from his chair, his hands still on his desk. You jump in your seat, startled at his sudden movements.

"You dumb girl." Snape seethes, his face is contorted in anger. He leans closer to you over his desk, his body towering over your sitting one. "You do realize I am risking my job for this, don't you? Or are you too naive to figure out that if anyone found out of this my career would be over?" Snape shakes his head, looking down at the desk.

"I know you're risking everything." you feel your heart beating in your ears, "But don't call me dumb. Or naive. You know I'm neither of those things."

Snape's eyes flick up to yours.

"You wouldn't be with me if I was, and we both know it." you spit, "So stop treating me as if I'm an inconvenience to you."

Snape simply continues to stare at you. His face twitches in ways that are barely discernible, but you notice him shifting back and forth between emotions. You notice the crease between his eyebrows deepen, his lips pressed together as if trying to hide how he really feels. But you see it, and you stare back at him, unwilling to back down. After a minute he backs away from you and pushes himself off his desk, rounding it to walk around the room.

You look away from him, down at your hands, and take a deep breath. "Although, thinking about it now, maybe I am dumb for thinking you'd actually treat me differently after the amortentia." you scoff, pushing your chair back.

You glance down at the floor and laugh softly to yourself, feeling stupid for thinking that somehow he would admit his feelings and apologize for treating you like he has been. You reach for your bag and grab your robe, ready to walk out of your detention.

When you stand, you find that Snape is just a couple feet from you, and you jump slightly. The way he's treated you, the constant back and forth, you've realized it's wrong. You're sick of how trapped you constantly feel.

"Maybe I am naive for believing you actually cared about me." you spit, sarcasm and anger coating every word.

Snape's eyes narrow again as he quickly takes a step towards you and his hand flies to your throat, roughly angling your face up towards his. Your faces are only inches apart. The anger in his eyes is gone now, but they swim with a new emotion you've never seen in him before, a desperateness.

"Shut. Your. Mouth." Snape demands, his grip only tightening around your throat. His eyes flick back and forth between yours.

You briefly hear, _"I care."_ swim in your mind. It's so quiet you almost convince yourself that it was your own thought. Either way, you can tell he feels more about this than he's choosing to reveal to you. And it's annoying, why can't he just admit he cares so you can move on to the good part?

"Make me." you breathe, inching your face closer to his, a daring look flashing across your eyes.

With that he collides his lips to yours and closes the space between your bodies. The kiss is rough from the start, nothing held back, pure anger, pure desire, mixing with your desperateness for each other. You bite his lip lightly and he growls into your mouth, moving his hand to grab your hips, roughly tugging you towards him. Your hands wrap in his hair, tugging at it.

You're not sure how this always seems to happen. You wish he would just talk to you, work things out so you wouldn't keep falling back to the same problem; but in this moment his lips feel so good against yours and his body is all you need. You don't dare to pull away.

Snape pushes you against his desk so hard that the jars perched on top of it tumble to the ground, and the rest of the miscellaneous supplies scatter to the floor as he spins you around and pushes you down onto the cold wood.

"Severus!" you gasp as he roughly pushes your skirt up behind you.

"Let's fix that attitude of yours, shall we?" his hand pushes down harder, making you lay flat on your stomach against the desk.

You hear him pulling down his pants and adjusting himself behind you. His fingers slide to move your panties to the side and out of the way. He presses himself against you, and without warning, he shoves into you and picks up his speed within seconds, giving you barely any time to adjust to his size. You cry out at his forcefulness and it takes you a moment to pull yourself together as you reach out for something to grab onto.

One of his hands latches onto your hair and he pulls your head up off the desk, bending you towards him. He leans down over you, "Can't take it?" Snape says, his breathing growing heavy in your ear. "Too bad, I thought this is what you wanted."

His words make heat spread throughout your body, and despite how rough he's being, he knows that this is exactly what you want. Your neck feels strained from him pulling your hair, and your body feels sore from the hard wood of the desk, but you don't care, the pleasure starting to take over your body overpowers everything else as you begin to squirm under him.

He thrusts into you even harder. You moan loudly, unable to control the way your body twitches and the sounds that come of your mouth, completely taken over by the sensations flooding your body.

As he gets closer to falling over the edge, he grips your hair tighter, the other hand reaching down to squeeze your thigh roughly. Your legs shake under you and it only takes another minute for you to fall over the edge. If it wasn't for his body keeping you in place, you're sure you would slide onto the floor.

Snape keeps thrusting. He groans under his breath, finishing only seconds after you.

He quickly gathers himself and pulls out of you, but you stay slouching over his desk, trying to catch your breath. Snape smirks to himself.

He backs away from you, fixing his clothes. "Don't have much to say now, hm?" However, he too stays silent after his remark. 

Maybe him bending you over his desk instead of you both talking through your feelings wasn't the best way to deal with conflict, but it did calm both of you down.

You continue laying on his desk, completely exhausted, wondering how you'll get yourself up.

Suddenly you feel a pair of hands on your stomach, pulling down your skirt, adjusting it back to normal. Snape's hands reach under your arms and peel you off the desk. He helps you into a soft chair in the corner of his office, setting you down gently. You have no energy to move, and you're grateful for his help. After a moment of brief hesitation, he reaches a hand to your cheek and kneels down slightly to place a soft kiss on your forehead.

"I care for you, y/n." he murmurs.


	21. Overheard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for all the support <3

On a snowy morning in Potions, you’re watching the mixture in your cauldron turn from a light lilac color to a deep plum when you overhear two Slytherins at the table next to yours talking loudly.

“He would hate that!” one of them laughs, his dark brown hair sways over his angular face.

“Yeah, but it would be funny. I heard someone last year decorated his door and they got two months of detention.” the other boy responds. He’s much shorter and his head looks as if it’s been squashed down, causing his neck to disappear.

“Throwing a surprise party for the potion’s master...” the dark haired Slytherin boy says while struggling to keep the bubbling liquid in his cauldron under control. “What a story that would make.”

“To be fair, he could use it. Doesn’t seem like anyone ever remembers his birthday.” the short boy responds while glaring at his own cauldron. “Didn’t seem like it during breakfast at least.”

You frown as you briefly glance up at the two boys, wondering why Snape hadn’t told you that his birthday was today. How is that these two idiots know about it and you don’t?

The two boys seem to be too distracted by their disastrous potion to notice the dark-clothed Professor making his way over to their table.

“The old blokes seemed happier though, hasn’t he?” the short one continues blabbing, completely oblivious to Snape standing behind him.

The one with dark brown hair snorts. “Yeah, wonder if he’s finally getting some-”

“Wilkins.” Snape interjects. Both of the boys jump in unison in surprise, quickly turning around to face Snape; they stumble into the cauldron and splatter the potion everywhere in the process. “Detention! Both of you.” Snape seethes, “My personal life is none of your concern. Get back to work.”

Both of the boys nod hurriedly, turning back to their cauldron and muttering apologies under their breath. You press your lips together, trying to hold back a laugh.

As Snape goes to head back to the front of the classroom, you try to catch his eye but he evades your attempt.

_Why didn’t he tell me it was his birthday?_

Right away, your mind starts spinning, trying to brainstorm last minute ideas for a gift. There’s no way you could get to Hogsmeade today, and it’s too late to order anything and have your owl deliver it in time. Caused by no wrong doing of your own, you begin to feel slightly guilty.

At the end of the period you linger in the room, waiting for the class to clear out before striding up to Snape’s desk. He notices your presence and waves the door shut.

“Happy birthday, Professor.” you say as you stop in front of him.

Snape looks up sharply to you. “How did-” his voice cuts off when he realizes you overheard the students talking and rolls his eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you frown.

It’s evident Snape doesn’t like drawing attention to himself if it can be avoided, and understandable if he attempts to prevent students from finding out, but you’re slightly hurt he didn’t trust or care enough to tell you.

“My birthday has never been of significant importance.” Snape responds, standing up from his chair and rounding his desk.

“What do you mean? Birthdays are supposed to be special.” you ask as you follow him with your eyes.

Snape glides past you, ignoring your question.

After a moment of awkward silence you speak up again. “I want to get you something.”

Snape lets out a huff as he pauses at a cauldron in the corner of the room. “There’s nothing I want.”

You roll your eyes as you begin to make your way over to him. “There must be _something_.”

“Nothing. If it has escaped your notice, I’m not attached to possessions. Did you grow up around muggles? Is that why the concept seems so absurd? They do love their things...”

You let out a small laugh, feeling a combination of disbelief and amusement at his words. “For your information, my mother is a witch.” you say matter-of-factly, “Although, my father is a muggle and somewhat of a hoarder, so I guess your logic stands true.” you shake your head as you try to rid your mind of your parents.

Snape turns his head towards you and the corner of his mouth twitches. You don’t notice his slight shift in his expression as you walk between tables, slowly making your way over to him.

“Come on. There must be something. One thing. Anything.” you walk closer to him, almost whining.

Snape is shaking his head, but when you’re a few feet from him, his head movement stops and a sly look covers his face. Your stomach drops and you stop in your tracks as you realize what you just got yourself into.

“Anything, now?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

You raise your eyebrows back at him, “That’s what I said, isn’t it?”

Snape takes a threatening step towards you and your breath gets caught in your throat as you immediately regret your sharp tongue. But to your surprise he doesn’t reach out to you or make any further movements.

“In that case, I suppose your company will do.” he states, but his gaze darkens as he speaks.

You expect him to do something else, say something else, but he simply turns away from you to tend to the cauldron that’s now beginning to bubble.

“Okay...” you say after a moment, awkwardly rocking on your feet as you watch him stir the contents of the cauldron with his wand. You purse your lips, slightly irritated he’s not paying more attention to you. You know you’re in a classroom, and that it's risky, and that’ll it’ll make you late, but if he would just turn around-

“Was there something else, Miss y/ln?” Snape says when he notices you haven’t left.

“Guess not.” you reply with a frown.

“Then I suggest you head to your next class.” Snape says lazily, tucking his wand back into his robes and leaning over the cauldron to look at it more closely.

You roll your eyes and let out a sigh in disappointment. But just as you’re about to turn to walk out, Snape spins on his heels and his hand flies to your face, holding you in place. His fingers graze your cheek and move to your chin, tilting your face up to his. He leans down slowly, brushing his lips against yours before pressing a gentle kiss to your mouth. It’s quick, but it reassures you. You smile as he pulls away.

“There. Now will you leave?” Snape says, attempting to sound annoyed but his eyes are soft as he gazes down at you.

Still grinning, you nod. “I’ll see you tonight.” you say.

Snape gives a small nod in response and removes his hand from your face. “Go.”

***

In Defense Against the Dark Arts, everything seems to go wrong.

When you reach in your bag to pull out your textbook at the start of class, you find that all your supplies and books are covered in black ink, and upon further inspection you find a shattered pot of ink as the culprit. There’s something strange about the way the glass is cracked. The shattered pieces look too even, too identical and precise to have just been caused by an impact from the bag hitting the ground.

When Laura sees your ink covered hand she looks down at your bag and cleans up the mess with a quick cleaning charm.

“Good as new.” she grins, “Wanna be partners?”

You look up at the front of the class to find Professor Lupin putting instructions on the board to practice nonverbal spells with a partner.

“Yeah, sure.” you reply.

But the class only gets worse when you attempt a shield charm against Laura’s spell. Your wand begins to shake as you struggle to control the direction of the spell and it shoots not at Laura, but at the board in front of the class, splitting into hundreds of small pieces, as if turning it to dust.

You stand in shock, lowering your wand, as everyone in the class turns to stare at you. Your counterspell seemed to have only missed Professor Lupin by a few feet, and he looks from you to the board and back to you several times before ushering everyone to get back to work and mending the board.

“No worries, y/ln! Mistakes happen.” he says as he walks towards you and Laura. “That’s what practice is for.” his voice sounds cheerful but there’s a hint of worry in it.

“Yeah…” you reply, grateful he’s not reprimanding you for almost killing him. Mistakes happen, but this seems different. Your counterspell felt like it quite literally flew from out of your control, becoming more powerful than just a shield charm in the process.

You only nod as Lupin advises you on your technique. You know how to do the nonverbal spell and have done it successfully many times before; what went wrong wasn’t caused by the way you flicked your wand. You catch Lupin shooting anxious glances in your direction for the rest of class.

As if things couldn’t get worse, at the end of class you’re not paying attention to where you’re walking and you trip on your way out the door. The contents of your bag spill all over the floor and Laura kneels down to help you pick up everything as the students leaving the class attempt to squeeze past you.

“Not your day, huh?” Laura asks, holding back a laugh.

“Apparently not.” you sigh.

If it wasn’t for Snape’s birthday, you might even consider the day cursed.

You brush off the occurrences of the class to the universe restoring balance. Things finally seemed to be going right in your life; Laura returned, Snape admitted he cares about you, and you were feeling pretty good about the last few months of your seventh year. You conclude the universe decided to add in a bit of clumsiness to bring you back down to Earth, that’s all.

***

That night, you sneak down to the dungeons and make your way towards Snape’s office. Seconds after you knock on the door to his quarters, Snape opens it and pulls you in, quickly shutting the door closed as if he’s afraid someone will see you.

“Hi.” you smile up at him, surprised but not opposed to his zealousness. The close contact eases any trace of awkwardness right away.

Snape places a small kiss to your forehead, muttering “Evening.” before releasing you and making his way to the couch.

You follow him, noticing two cups set on the table in front of the couch.

“Sit. I made tea.” Snape says.

It takes everything in you to not throw yourself into his arms. You love these small moments, and you wish he would do these things more often. “Thank you, Sev.”

His eyes dart to yours for a brief second, taken aback at your use of his nickname. The corner of his mouth twitches, and you swear you even see him smile.

You sit down next to him on the couch and reach out to grab the cup of tea. As you take a sip, the warmth spreads through your body and you close your eyes, enjoying the comforting sensation. The fire is already burning in his quarters, and you bring your feet up and cuddle into his side. “How was your birthday?” you ask as you set the cup back down.

Snape contemplates his response for a second. “I was able to avoid the stunts of students who think it hilarious to ruin the room with decorations,” he lets out a small sigh, “But Minerva left me a cake in the staffroom.” Snape rolls his eyes and you laugh. “However, I’m not concerned with how it _was._ Only how it _is_ at this moment.”

You tilt your head up towards his, observing all the details of his features. For the first time, you notice a trace of pain behind his dark eyes and you can't help but remember what he said earlier about his birthday not being important. Your brows furrow.

“You know,” you say, bringing a hand to his face, “I care for you too, Severus.”

Snape stares back at you and his hand reaches up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear. He shows no signs of it on his stoic face, but internally he’s pushing away every suggestion that he should back away from you right now, or that he’ll only end up hurting you in the end. Before he gives into his cruel thoughts, he leans down and his lips meet yours.

You kiss back and practically melt into his arms as he pulls you closer. You adjust your body, moving your leg to sit yourself on top of his lap so you’re straddling him. Your arm hooks around his neck and you push yourself further into him.

“Your company was enough of a gift…” he mutters against your lips, “Although, I guess this will do too.” he chuckles softly.

Snape’s fingers graze the skin on your waist as they sneak under your shirt. You angle your head to kiss him deeper, sighing into his mouth when his tongue moves along your bottom lip. He grabs your thighs, pulling your body flush against his, and brings you up with him as he stands. You hold onto his neck as he slowly starts to walk over to his bed. Your lips trace his jawline and work to unbutton his shirt to get access to the skin on his neck.

At that moment there’s a knock on the door.


	22. Secrets

Snape almost drops you as his head darts in the direction of the noise from the door. You pull away from him and see panic building in his eyes. He sets you down swiftly before starting to pace around the room, searching his quarters for a hiding spot.

“Hide.” he whispers hurriedly. His hand points to a spot behind a bookshelf.

You rush to the spot as quickly as you can. Even though you’re hidden from the view of the door, you wrap your arms around yourself in an attempt to make yourself as small as possible.

Snape walks towards the door, buttoning up and fixing his shirt. He glances in your direction, making sure you’re hidden, before opening the door. Before darting your head out of sight, you notice how tousled his hair looks; but it’s too late to warn him.

“Good evening, Severus.” Dumbledore’s voice says from the other side of the doorway.

“Headmaster?” Snape responds, a mixture of a greeting and a question.

“I’m sorry to disturb you this late, especially on your birthday,” Dumbledore smiles softly, “But it’s urgent. Remus has informed me of a development.”

“Oh?” Snape says lifting his eyebrows, his voice sounds strained.

“While the students were practicing nonverbal spells today in class, y/n y/ln’s counterspell almost hit him.”

Your eyes widen at the mention of your name and the incident during class.

“No one was hurt, but it practically turned the board to dust.” Dumbledore continues.

Snape inhales sharply. “I see.”

A cramp in your leg causes you to adjust your footing, and the wood of the shelf creaks quietly in response. You cringe at the noise and hold your breath. Dumbledore glances in your direction, eyeing the spot for a few moments. He blinks a few times, but sees nothing except a shelf of books. Snape moves uncomfortably, taking a minuscule step in an attempt to obstruct Dumbledore’s view.

“I’m afraid it’s happening sooner than we thought.” Dumbledore says, moving his gaze back to Snape, “Do you have the potion prepared?”

_Potion?_

Snape nods and mutters something to Dumbledore.

Then there’s silence. Hidden from view, you’re unable to see what’s going on. Your heart beat picks up and you scold yourself, wishing you hadn’t moved at all. Your mind is spiraling into overthinking. You wonder whether you’ve ruined everything, whether you’ll actually be caught.

But then, Dumbledore speaks up again. “Very well, it’s getting late, I won’t bother you again tonight. I just thought you would want to know what’s going on.” Dumbledore explains. “Goodnight. And happy birthday.”

The anxiety in your chest loosens when you hear the door close. Snape lets out a long sigh and walks to sit on his bed. You move hesitantly around the shelf, taking a deep breath.

“What was that?” you ask quietly.

Snape’s hand moves to his face and his fingers move against his closed eyes, willing away the stress and frustration Dumbledore’s news brought. He doesn’t answer you.

Not for the first time this year you feel like there’s more going on behind your back than you know. You feel like an idiot for letting yourself believe, even for the briefest of moments, that things had returned to normal with Laura’s return. It seems like the complete opposite is true.

“What’s going on? Why was he talking about me?” you say as you approach Snape’s bed. Your hands stay wrapped around your body, as if protecting yourself from whatever he’s about to say.

“y/n…” he says slowly without meeting your eyes, “Has anything else strange been happening?”

You frown.

_That’s not an explanation._

Still, you wrack your mind, finding the question to be slightly odd. You didn’t think your life was that strange. And then you realize.

“Well, my ink burst in my bag this morning, but it’s not that strange, my bag could’ve just hit something.” you pause wondering if you should say what you’re about to, thinking it’ll make you sound crazy. “And there’s been like, flashes of blue light.” you say, trying to sound casual, as if it’s no big deal. When Snape darts his head up you quickly add, “But I could be hallucinating. You know, tired from studying and everything.”

He sees right through your lie.

“y/n…” Snape repeats your name, almost like a warning.

“What is it?” you exclaim, getting frustrated at this point. “Tell me!”

Snape abruptly stands up from the bed and quickly strides towards you. His hands reach to your face, and hold your head steady. His eyebrows knit together in worry.

“It wasn’t supposed to happen this soon.” Snape whispers, his eyes darting back and forth between yours.

“What wasn’t supposed to happen this soon?” you breathe, “Severus… what’s going on?” You’re growing more and more fearful of the situation, and the look on his face isn’t helping in the slightest.

His eyes twitch, as if an inner conflict of whether he should tell you is taking place. After a few moments his eyes soften and he gives in. “You’re losing control of your magic.” he sighs.

“What?!” you exclaim, “No- I can control my magic. I’m in my seventh year. I’m perfectly capable of-”

Snape cuts you off. “It’s not your fault. The same is happening to others too. There’s been similar incidents in Beauxbatons and Durmstrang.”

“What? But why is this happening?”

Snape shakes his head. “We don’t know.”

You scrunch your face in frustration and look away, shaking away his touch. “Well-” you scoff, “That’s helpful.”

Snape stares at you, attempting to read your changing expression as you contemplate the situation. Suddenly you shoot your head up. “What about Laura being attacked in the forest? And me in the dungeons? Are the attacks connected to this?” you ask.

“I’m worried they could be, yet there’s no proof of it.” Snape sighs again. His voice remains calm as yours grows stronger.

“Proof? What do you mean? Isn’t Laura going batshit crazy after being attacked in the forest enough fucking proof?” you shout, taking a few steps around the room. At this point, you’ve given up on attempting to hold yourself back. There’s too much energy building up in your body.

Snape scowls at your language. You shoot him a look back.

“I agree with you.” Snape says steadily. “But Albus demands evidence. Bright’s memory of that night is nearly nonexistent, and without any eyewitnesses-”

“Laura said Hollis Moss was there.” you interrupt him as you remember the conversation you had with Laura a few days ago.

Snape raises his eyebrows. “Her memory is coming back then, is it?” he looks away as he mutters, “I’ll be sure to inform Albus.”

He doesn’t say anything else, and you stay silent too, contemplating everything he’s told you.

_Losing control of my magic?_

The concept seems bizarre. Endless emotions flow through your body, all at once as you try to process the situation. All of the new information is causing you to feel anxious and overwhelmed, but you can’t deny the relief you feel at finding out the cause for all the strange things happening. At least you aren’t going crazy. And then anger about the fact that you didn’t know what was happening sooner, anger that Snape kept this from you, becomes the ruling emotion and takes over.

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me sooner? Didn’t you consider that it might be slightly important to inform _me_ about _my_ loss of magic?” you scoff, “Ignoring me, calling me dumb, hiding things from me; you can be a real asshole, you know that?” you mutter the last part under your breath.

Snape raises his eyebrows while taking a step towards you, “Care to repeat that, y/ln?” Suddenly you feel nervous under his intimidating gaze.

“Sorry.” you mutter, looking away.

“I am just trying to keep you safe, y/n.” Snape says slowly.

You sigh and look back at him. “I know.”

Despite all he’s held from you, you can’t help but trust him. He hasn’t given you an extensive amount of reasons to, but a part of you is blindly holding onto every word he says, even if they are leading to the edge of a cliff.

_What’s happening to me?_

A few weeks ago you would’ve resented the idea of blindly trusting him, yet now, something in his words calms you down.

“What are we supposed to do now, then?” you ask quietly.

“Nothing. You’re safest and most manageable at Hogwarts.” Snape glances at you, “You’re not even supposed to know this.” guilt flashes behind his eyes.

You feel slightly guilty too, for having to put him in this position.

“The best you can do is pretend things are normal. For now.” he looks away, his face contorts and as if he just tasted something bad.

“For now?” you ask suspiciously.

“For now.” he restates. “Albus and other teachers will be keeping an eye over you, for your own safety.” he frowns. There’s a few beats of silence, but it looks as if there’s more he wants to say.

“What is it?” you murmur, reaching a hand out to his.

Snape pulls his hand away and takes a step back from you. “It may be in our best interest to keep a distance.”

Your stomach drops. “What?” your voice is back to being quiet, a barely audible whisper.

“It’s probably not wise for you to be in my quarters. They’ll be keeping a closer eye on you and anything else that occurs.” he sighs, tilting his head forward but keeping his eyes on yours, “I want to keep you safe, y/n.”

_This can’t be fucking happening. Not now. Not when things finally seemed to be going right._

“Severus. Don’t do this.” you say, your voice cracking slightly.

Snape just stares at you, the look on his face unreadable. He takes a step towards you, grabbing your hand and guiding you to the door. Tears threaten to spill from your eyes as you move your feet with a profuse amount of effort. Everything you’ve learned tonight is a lot to take in, and now he’s kicking you out. Your body doesn’t know how to process it all.

Snape stops and turns towards you, his hand reaches to your face. “Please don’t cry, y/n.” he whispers.

His words are all it takes for you to fall apart on the spot. His thumb strokes your cheek, gently wiping away your tears.

“Don’t think for a second this is over.” he whispers, his eyebrows furrowing as he leans down closer to you.

You nod against his hand, inhaling deeply through your nose, willing the tears in your eyes to go away.

Snape never meant to, never thought it was possible, to end up caring for you this much. And now that you’re in danger, now that there’s a chance he could lose you- his stomach twists at the thought of it. This relationship has gone further than he had ever anticipated. He doesn’t know if he could handle losing you.

“We just need to be careful, that’s all.” Snape smirks softly, and you can tell it’s his attempt to cheer you up, yet his voice sounds strained.

You let out a small laugh.

But deep inside you have a feeling this could be the end. Your body trembles with the unfairness of it all. After he finally admitted he cares for you, and now you might not even get the chance to be together. You desperately attempt to push the thought away. It’s almost unbearable.

Snape leans down, closing the space between your faces, and kisses you. His lips move slowly against yours in a way that lights up every nerve in your body. His hand reaches around to the back of your neck, holding your head steady as he presses his lips harder against yours. Your hands snake around his back, holding onto him as tightly as you can, never wanting to let go.

This kiss feels different than normal. It feels like the last one.

_No._

Snape pulls away slowly but resolutely. His eyes run over every inch of your face, wondering how you’re able to affect him so much.

You stare at each other for a minute, neither one unable to let go. Finally, as if brought back to reality, he drops his hands from your face and furrows his brows, taking a step back from you. You nod your head in understanding. It’s time to go. You bite the inside of your cheek as you turn towards the door. This could be it. After everything, this could finally be it.

All the times he pushed you away it was almost expected, and you knew he would come around eventually. You knew it would take time for his hard exterior to breakdown. In fact, that part of him only drew you in further.

But this? This feels different.

As your fingers wrap around the door handle you hear a sigh behind you, and then Snape’s rushed footsteps.

“To hell with being careful.” Snape says, grabbing your waist to spin you around. His lips crash to yours as he pulls you against him.


	23. Falling

Snape knew this was stupid. Wasn’t he supposed to be the logical one? The mature one? Yet here you are, making him lose control of himself completely.

You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you as his lips move against yours. Snape pushes you against the door and his hands begin to trail around your body. His mouth moves along your jaw and down to your neck, trying to find your sweet spot. When he notices you react in a particular way, he stays on that spot, occasionally nipping at your skin with his teeth.

Excuses and justifications run through his mind as he loses himself in the warmth and sweetness of your skin. He tells himself that surely one more hour of some recklessness wouldn’t hurt.

Snape knows this situation would be an easy way out. He would have a reason to back out from this, from you. He knows in the end you’ll both end up getting hurt; he can’t picture any other outcome. But he can’t get himself to pull away from you. Your unrelenting persistence to make this relationship work had begun to take an effect on him.

You tug lightly at his hair as his fingers reach your thighs and move your skirt up your torso. The desire in your body intensifies and heat pools between your legs. “Severus…” you sigh softly.

Hearing your breath grow faster and your voice turn desperate makes any logic in his mind disappear, and he presses closer against you.

His hands move under your thighs to push you up and you wrap your legs around him. Your back is pressed flush with the door and your front flush against him. He brings his lips to yours and squeezes your thighs as he pulls you away from the door. Your hands grip at his shoulders in an attempt to steady yourself in his arms and he begins to carry you across the room.

With his lips never leaving yours, your fingers work to unbutton the countless buttons of his black shirt, revealing a white undershirt beneath. You only get a few unbuttoned before he reaches his bed and adjusts you in his arms to place you down.

When your body hits the soft sheets, it’s as if your mind catches up with your body. Reality sets in and anxiety creeps into your stomach. You wonder why he’s acting so reckless.

“Sev-” you say, slightly breathless, “I’m all for this- but maybe- maybe you’re right.” You sit up on the bed.

Snape, one knee on the bed, pauses his movements and furrows his brows together in confusion.

Your hands reach for his face as you continue, “Maybe we should be more careful. I mean, tonight we almost got caught-”

“You’re right.” Snape interrupts you, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. “But then again,” he leans down, placing a kiss on your jaw as he mutters, “We’ve gotten this far, haven’t we?”

You laugh softly. He places himself down on the bed, sitting next to you and watching your features carefully as if waiting for you to make the next move. The growing desire in your stomach begins to overpower any doubts. Your body wants so desperately to give into him. And you let it.

You grab his shoulders and pull him towards you. His fingers tangle in your hair, and he holds your head steady as he brings his lips to meet yours. His other arm wraps around your waist and finds its way under your shirt and onto the skin of your back.

His lips move slower against yours than before, the pure desperateness replaced by something deeper, more meaningful. You kiss him back with the same fervor, gliding your tongue against his bottom lip. Your fingers go back to their previous objective of getting his shirt off, you undo the remaining buttons and tug it off. Snape is left in his white undershirt and you smirk slightly into the kiss, unable to hide your excitement of knowing there’s one less layer separating you.

Snape wraps his arms around your waist and pushes you backwards on the bed. He looms over you and his eyes briefly glance over your face before his mouth moves to your neck, then to your collarbone, and he unbuttons your shirt as he trails kisses down your body. You lift up your shoulders to help him tug the fabric off your body, desperate to remove every layer of clothing between you.

His fingers trail over your collarbone and toy with the straps of your bra, his touch so subtle it causes goosebumps to erupt on your skin. You reach behind your back to unclasp your bra, and he eagerly pulls it off.

You’ve made up your mind you want to feel his skin against yours, and when he leans back down to you, you immediately reach for the buttons of his under shirt. You get a few undone, revealing his pale skin underneath. Your fingers run against the skin on his chest, noticing a few scars. This is the most he’s ever let you undress him, and a few seconds pass before you realize you’re staring. You look up to see a smirk plastered on Snape’s face, and before you get the chance to unbutton his shirt all the way, his hands grab your wrists and pin them above your head.

You frown, upset he’s stopping you. But before you can protest, his lips crash to yours and you get lost in him once again. One of his hands holds your wrists above your head as the other trails down your body to your skirt, tugging it down your legs.

“Do you want this?” Snape asks hoarsely as his fingers skim over the fabric of your panties.

“Yes-” you moan, “God, Sev, please, I do. Fuck me.” You’re completely lost in him, too consumed by lust to care about the words escaping your mouth.

Snape raises an eyebrow and leans his face closer to yours, “Demanding little thing, aren’t you?” he whispers.

Your face turns a shade of crimson at his words and you unsuccessfully attempt to hide your face in the pillow. Snape chuckles, releasing his grip on your wrists to grab your face, forcibly turning your chin to look at him.

“All flustered and we haven’t even begun.” he mutters.

Your face only turns a deeper shade of red and Snape's satisfied smirk grows, not even attempting to hide the fact he enjoys watching you squirm under him.

His fingers move under the fabric of your panties and he pulls them down your legs agonizingly slow. You kick your legs impatiently, but if anything, that makes him slow down even more and it feels like hours before the last layer of clothing on your body is gone.

“So impatient…” he drawls, meeting your gaze as he comes back to you.

You reach up towards his face, pulling him down to you and his hand reaches to undo his pants. He releases his length from his constricting pants and you moan as you feel it against you. Snape eyes your face and his fingers trace small circles on your hip.

“Please,” you gasp, unable to take his teasing.

And with that, he slowly moves into you. You let out a quiet moan as you feel yourself adjusting to his size. After a few moments, he picks up his pace, his breathing growing heavier with each passing second. You wrap your arms around him and with each one of his movements, you push your hips up to meet his. Snape buries his head in the crook of your neck and bites at the skin lightly. His hand grips your thigh where his fingernails lightly dig into the skin.

His mouth and his fingers only add to your pleasure, and you throw your head back as uncontrollable sounds escape your lips.

“That’s it, fall apart for me.” Snape mutters with a demanding tone.

Your hands tug at his hair as he continues thrusting into you, his movements growing quicker and rougher. You feel your body tense up underneath him and you cry out as you fall over the edge. Moments later, Snape groans your name as he finishes.

He collapses next to you and you pull the sheets over your body, listening to his breathing slow and the crackling of the fire. You turn on your side and reach your hand to Snape’s chest, tracing at his skin lightly with your fingertips. Snape watches you, his brows furrowed but his eyes soft, and despite his impassive expression, he couldn’t be more content in this moment.

“Severus?” you whisper.

“Yes, y/n?” he says softly.

You bite your lip and stay silent for a minute. Snape’s hand reaches for your face, “What is it?”

You rest your head on his chest as you wrap an arm around him. “What now?” you ask quietly. Even after the events that just took place, doubt begins to creep back in and the state of your relationship is clouded by contradicting thoughts in your mind.

Snape knows immediately what you’re referring to. He sighs and closes his eyes, contemplating his response for a minute. “I’ve become more enraptured by you than I ever thought possible, y/n.” His voice is quiet and you can tell it’s hard for him to admit that, to you and to himself. You smile softly and a comforting feeling of warmth spreads through you. “However-”

“However?” you repeat as you quickly sit up, “There’s always something…” you mutter.

Snape eyes your face, and in that moment, he looks so tired, defeated almost. “You have to understand, there are things that-” he shakes his head, “If you knew, you would never look at me the same way.”

You frown, slightly confused. “At this point, I don’t think there’s much that could change the way I feel about you.” you say quietly.

As much as Snape wants to believe you, he seriously doubts that. But you don’t push the topic further, so he doesn’t say anything else.

You go back to laying on his chest, and his fingers run softly through your hair. You stay silent, simply enjoying each other’s company, not wanting to ruin a moment of peace amidst the chaos falling all around you both.

You’re reluctant to leave his quarters, unable to rid the feeling in your stomach that he might change his mind the next day about you or realize that it would be safer if you didn’t see each other. But curfew approaches quickly and you grudgingly make your way to the door.

“Goodnight, y/n.” Snape mutters against your lips.

“Goodnight, Sev.” you smile.

You get the urge to say something more, but immediately push it away, knowing it’s too soon and you’re probably stupid for even considering it.

But as you traverse the dark corridors to your dormitory, you let your mind wander to the possibility that you might, despite all odds, be in love with Severus Snape.


	24. Unrelenting

To your disappointment, Snape had been right. For the next few weeks into February, seeing each other had proven to be extremely difficult, almost impossible. Just as he had predicted, teachers were watching you more closely. While walking in the corridors you often noticed the glances filled with confusion and pity that teachers would send your way. And although you knew they were just looking out for you, it had gotten annoying.

However, the fact that teachers were practically spying on you wasn’t the only thing keeping you apart.

For one, classes had begun to pick up pace and you were exhausted from struggling to keep up with all the work teachers were assigning. You, along with many other stressed seventh year students, had begun studying for the N.E.W.T.s on top of all the homework. But ever since Severus had revealed that you were losing control of your magic, stressing about school work seemed laughable.

A few odd occurrences had happened since the time you broke the board in Defence Against the Dark Arts; things like your head constantly becoming clouded while trying to perform a spell in Charms or being unusually clumsy and dropping jars of ingredients in Potions. Nothing dangerous enough for you to stop attending classes occurred, but the loss of control added a level of stress and uncertainty in your life.

Dumbledore was holding meetings with Laura almost every night in an attempt to help her regain insights as to what happened on the night she was attacked. The meetings often went late into the night, and she would catch you up during breakfast; today was no exception.

You attentively listen to every word she says, grateful the attention is off of you.

“Everything went black and I woke up on the forest floor and they were gone.” Laura says.

Although her memory of the night she was attacked was still relatively cloudy, last week she recalled that there were three people in the forest. However, she only knew the identity of one of them: Hollis Moss.

You were almost convinced that the three people who attacked her were the same ones that attempted to attack you in the dungeons in November. “You know, it’s really likely that the other two people were probably Reid and Mueller.”

Laura stares at the food on her plate, wide eyed. “It’s connected, like it was all planned.”

You nod in agreement. “They should’ve been expelled. I can’t imagine what’ll happen when their suspension ends and they come back. What the hell is Dumbledore doing? You’d think he’d be smart enough to make the connection.” you say, irritated.

“Yeah. Things would get worse.” Laura nods.

The thought scared you.

You and Laura both contemplate the situation for the rest of breakfast. You hate the weight you feel on your shoulders. Life once again had become overwhelming.

You don’t notice it’s almost nine until the Great Hall is almost empty. You quickly gather your things and rush down to the dungeons for Potions.

Besides a few extremely hurried kisses between classes, you hadn’t gotten Severus alone in over a month. It was frustrating.

Weeks without his touch had left your mind restless. You were reminded of the first time he forced you to wait for him, to see how badly you actually wanted this. And although now you knew why you couldn’t see him as easily, that didn’t make it any more bearable.

Time apart has given you time to reflect on your feelings about him. Before, you had always considered your attraction to him as a form of lust and desperateness; your physical chemistry was undeniable. But on the night of his birthday, a subtle shift took place in your feelings towards him. And over the past few weeks, the feeling had only been growing deeper. Maybe it was a slightly delusional thought, but you couldn’t imagine this relationship ending after you graduate.

However, you knew Severus probably didn’t feel as strongly about you, and you knew trying to rush things was absurd. You didn’t want to ruin any progress you had been making, so you pushed away the idea of telling him. At this point, rejection would not only sting, it would completely tear you apart.

You make it to the Potion’s classroom with a minute to spare and rush to your seat. You settle yourself in and adjust your uniform in an attempt to look more presentable. As you’re pulling your hair out of your face your eyes meet Snape’s and his jaw clenches.

You have to bite the inside of your cheek to hide the smile wanting to form on your face.

The innocent stolen glances meant so much more recently. At this point, they're one of the few things that keeps you going.

“As promised, today you all will be attempting a written evaluation, not unlike one you would find on a N.E.W.T..” Snape says. A few students groan as he waves his wand and the tests disperse themselves, gliding to each student. “You have until the end of class.” he states, setting himself down behind his desk.

After the test lands in front of you, you immediately get to work. The first few questions are simple, more based on the procedures of potion making. But after a while, your lack of studying for potions catches up to you and you begin doubting your responses. The confusion clouding your brain makes you lose focus.

Your eyes glaze over the same question for the fifth time.

It reads: _“Wormwood, stewed mandrake, and ground unicorn horn are ingredients necessary for which potion?”_

It should be simple. Yet, you find yourself unable to focus and take to looking around the classroom.

Dealing with Laura, the overly observant teachers, and your explosive tendencies around magic was _almost_ enough to keep your mind off of Snape outside of class. But you were forced to confront your impatience and longing while sitting in the same room with him during class.

Your eyes dart around, lingering on Snape’s figure longer than anything else in the room. His hair falls over his face and hides any trace of emotion as he scribbles something on the parchment in front of him. God, how you miss him. You have to force yourself to look away.

Snape senses your wandering gaze. Your necklace lightly burns the skin on your chest.

_“Focus, y/ln.”_

Your eyes quickly dart to him and you frown. But inside, you feel nothing but delight at his attention. His intense stare only reminds you of how much you miss his touch; the corner of Snape’s mouth turns upward in a smirk when he sees the memory of your last encounter come to the surface of your mind.

You blush as you go back to the test in front of you.

You reread the same question for the sixth time. _“Wormwood, stewed mandrake, and ground unicorn horn are ingredients necessary for which potion?”_

You huff in frustration. You couldn’t focus before and you certainly won’t be able to now.

_Professor?_

Snape pauses the scribble of his quill momentarily and glances up at you.

_“Yes?”_

He goes back to writing.

_I’m bored._

He doesn’t look up at you but you see his eyes narrow.

_“Bored? If I’m not mistaken, you’re supposed to be taking a test, are you not?”_

_I know. But it’s hard to focus. Maybe I could get extra credit another way._

_“I do not give extra credit, Miss y/ln.”_

You roll your eyes.

_Maybe you’d be willing to make an exception for me, I’m sure I could convince you in a few ways._

Snape doesn’t respond to your remark for a minute but you see the corner of his mouth twitch.

_“Finish your test.”_

At this point, you’ve admitted to yourself that your test is a lost cause and you decide to persist at trying to get a reaction out of Snape.

_But I can’t stop thinking of other things._

Snape raises an eyebrow when he looks up and sees you resting your elbows on your desk, subtly leaning forward.

_I miss your touch. How your body feels pressed against mine._

You pause, waiting for a reaction from him - a smirk, a frown, anything - but his face remains stoic.

_Or how your fingers traced down my stomach and between my legs._

His eye twitches. You press your lips together, hiding your smile.

_Or how good you felt inside me._

Snape deliberately forces himself to look at his desk, gripping his quill rather hard, and you can tell your words are putting a strain on him.

_“So talkative today, Miss y/ln, so confident. You wouldn't be saying half of those things if we were alone.”_

_Why? What would you do?_

Snape squeezes his eyes shut and inhales deeply through his nose out of frustration. He knows the game you’re playing but he can’t resist.

_“I would put that pretty little mouth of yours to good use.”_

Your mouth parts in surprise and when Snape sees your reaction he can’t hide his smirk.

_“Perhaps push you down on my desk and teach you a lesson. That’s what you want, isn’t it?”_

Butterflies erupt in your stomach and your arms, resting on the desk, slip out from under you. Completely taken aback, you try to quickly sit up straight but only end up knocking the pot of ink on your desk to the ground. It smashes, splattering black ink all over the floor. A few people glance in your direction and laugh quietly.

Snape is quick to speak up. “Detention, y/ln. Saturday.” Snape sneers from his desk. No one finds it odd, used to it by now, that Snape hates your guts. You both put on a good act, really. "Pull yourself together."

“But-” you stumble for an excuse, knowing you can’t sound excited, “But there’s a quidditch match!” you say desperately, pretending you would care about nothing more than to watch Hufflepuff get obliterated by Ravenclaw.

“Quiet.” Snape demands, standing from his chair. He walks over to where the ink is spreading on the floor and cleans it up with a wave of his wand. The disturbance had caused a small commotion to erupt between the students and Snape shoots an accusing look at the class, “Get back to work.”

Before strolling back to his desk Snape glances in your direction.

_“We’ll see how you act then.”_

Your face flushes but otherwise you keep your composure.

_I guess we will, Professor._

***

“God, he’s the worst. He always targets you, too, doesn’t he?” Laura says.

Your studying has once again taken you late into the night, sitting in a cozy chair next to the fireplace in the common room. The only other people in the room are a group of fifth years huddled in the corner.

“Yeah…” you sigh, “It’s the worst...”

_Not being able to be close to him._

“I wish it was different.” you add.

_I wish I could be with him._

Your eyes threaten to close as you search for the answer to a question on your Herbology homework. You’re about to doze off when a noise from the window makes your eyes dart open. A small grey owl pecks at the glass. Laura stares at it confusedly, and none of the fifth years seem to be making a move so you walk over and open the window.

You untie the roll of parchment from the small owl’s foot and the bird immediately takes off into the frigid night. When you glance down at the roll, you find that your name is scribbled on the outside of the parchment.

This entire situation is completely odd and very unlikely. Besides how late it is to be getting post, you can’t remember the last time someone had written you a letter.

“Well, what is it?” Laura asks as you come back to your seat, staring at the parchment.

You unroll it carefully. The parchment is frayed on the sides, and the handwriting looks messy, hurried.

_Hogsmeade._

_Outside of the Three Broomsticks._

_Saturday at noon._

_You’ll know it when you see it._

_-Hollis_

“What the…” you trail off as you read the note. “Laura…” you hand her the parchment and her mouth drops open in surprise.

“Holy shit.” she responds, worriedly looking at the group of students in the corner before rereading the message multiple times.

“Why would Hollis wanna see me after they literally attacked you? After they tried to attack me?” you scoff. And then you remember your detention. “I can’t go anyways.” you say, unable to hide the relief in your voice.

You turn towards Laura expecting her to agree with you but she has an almost pleading look on her face. “No… it wasn’t Hollis. I mean- yeah, they were there, but they would never willingly hurt me. Or you. Or anyone.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve known them since I was a kid.” Laura says, lowering her voice. “And that night, the look on their face in the forest-'' she scrunches her face up as if trying to remember. “I trust Hollis.” she turns towards you, “There has to be a reason for all of this…” she trails off.

There’s a hesitant part of you that feels bitter about the blind trust she puts into them. But at this point you’re willing to do anything to figure out what’s going on.

“So are you saying you want to go?” you ask, only partly joking. You start tucking away your homework, given up on trying to get anymore done.

“Yes.” she responds without hesitation. “I’ll sneak out of the quidditch match.”

“You’ll have to go by yourself.” you whisper, “That’s okay with you?”

“No yeah, I don’t mind. I’ll go.” she says calmly but you can tell it’s a forced calm.

“Don’t do anything stupid.” you say, raising your eyebrows.

“I’ll be fine.” she responds, giving you a smile and picking up her own books.

_Famous last words._


End file.
